Losing Control : His Madness, His Cure Chapter 152

I pull back just enough to watch his face, to see the answer form in those dark eyes. His lips part, his breath ragged, and he says, “I don’t care how.... I just want to feel you. All of you. Like nothing else fucking exists.”

I hook my fingers into the waistband of his boxers and tug. Jax lifts his hips for me like it’s instinct. I drag them down, peeling him bare until he’s sprawled in front of me with nothing to hide behind. Fuck! He’s gorgeous like this...long lines, muscle tight with want, cock already flushed, begging to be touched.

I’d imagined this first time a hundred different ways. Me losing control, pushing him down and fucking into him until the only thing in his head was my name. That’s what I thought I’d want. But now, staring at him, it hits me, I don’t want to just take. I want to strip him open in a way no one else ever has. To make him feel like there’s nothing between us...not air, not doubt, not fear. Just me.

I tear my eyes away long enough to reach for the drawer, snatching the lube and tossing it onto the bed. Then I shove my boxers down, and my cock springs free, hard and hot, jutting out with a pulse that throbs. Every inch of me is screaming, aching to feel him fully, to bury myself deep and claim him.

He doesn’t stop looking at me, not once. Those eyes burn straight through me, and I swear I could lose myself there.

I walk to the foot of the bed, run a hand through my hair and tilt my head just slightly. Then I let the words rasp out. “I want to see.”

His brow furrows. “See what?”

I wrap my hand around myself, dragging the first stroke out until my breath stutters. His gaze snaps down like he can’t fight it, pupils blown wide, lips parting as he watches me pump my cock in my fist. “Where I’m going to put it,” I growl, heat dripping off every word. “Where I’m gonna bury myself in you until we’re both wrecked and not thinking straight. I wanna see.”

He groans low in his throat, hand fisting around his own cock as if the sight of me set him on fire. Then he slowly plants his feet on the mattress and lets his legs fall open, giving me everything. My breath catches, shaky, and I drag in air that feels too heavy to hold.

I crawl back onto the bed, moving between his legs like I’ve already claimed them. My palms slide from his knees down the tense lines of his inner thighs. “Let go,” I murmur, eyes locked on his fist around his cock.

He does. Releases himself, and it slaps against his abdomen, thick, glistening at the tip. His hands fall uselessly to his sides. I slowly brush my thumb over his balls, testing, and watch his cock jerk up hard against his skin. He makes a guttural sound, hungry, and fuck if it doesn’t go straight to my spine.

“I'm wound up too tight,” he warns, voice catching desperately. “If you keep that up, I’m not gonna last.”

I lean down, catching his mouth in a kiss that steals his breath. When I pull back, my lips drag against his as I whisper, “You will. I’ll make sure you do.”

And I mean it. I’m going to unravel him piece by piece.

I grab the lube from the edge of the bed, warm in my hand, slick and heavy, and I can’t stop my eyes from drinking him in. Every shiver under my gaze, every twitch of his cock already screaming for me....it’s all mine to command tonight. My thumb swipes over the tip, just teasing him, and I hear his breath hitching, a low, ragged sound that sets my teeth on edge.

I lean down, dragging a finger along his slit, tracing him slow, watching his hips lift, arching toward me, desperate for more. “Relax,” I murmur, but it’s half a command, half a promise. I spread the lube over my fingers, the warmth sliding over him, and I slide in just enough to make him gasp. His thighs tense, pressing against my legs, body begging for the stretch that’s coming.

I can feel him straining, every muscle flexed. His hands clutch at the sheets, digging in, and it’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. I slide a finger inside, curling it just right. “Fuck,” he breathes, hips pushing up.

I slide another finger in, feeling him stretch, feeling him take me, and my own cock throbs at the sight, at the sound, at the raw, aching want dripping off him like sweat. “You’re so goddamn tight, Jax....clenching around me like this, it’s unreal.”

His hands grip my arms, pulling me closer, his eyes squeezed shut, mouth open in that perfect, broken expression. He’s trembling, shaking, and I know he’s already begging for what comes next, even if he can’t say it.

I lean close, teeth grazing the shell of his ear. My hands move to his hips, holding him, pressing him down into the mattress just enough. My fingers are working him open, and when I crook them just right, Jax's whole body arches like I’ve stolen the air from his lungs. His hands clamp onto my arms, knuckles white, and the sound that rips from his throat has me swallowing down a groan of my own. Then his hand finds me, wrapping around my cock, stroking once while his eyes lock on mine. No words are needed, I know what he's asking for.

I slide my fingers out, slick my cock, drag it against the tight ring of his entrance...and that’s when he speaks, voice daring.

“I thought you said you wanted me riding your cock the first time.”

My eyes snap up to his, fire meeting fire. I had said that. I meant it. Hell, I still really want it. But I swallow thickly, admitting, “I figured we’d work up to that, when you were more....broken in for me.”

His mouth curves, hungry. “Don’t ever hesitate with me, Xander. Not with this.

Always take what you want from me, it’s already yours.”

The words hit me dead center. That kind of trust is staggering, terrifying and addictive. I lick my bottom lip because fuck, now I want it more than I can stand.

I fall back onto the mattress, my hand wrapping around my base as I meet his gaze. “Then get on me, Jax. I wanna watch you drive yourself crazy on my cock.”