Losing Control : His Madness, His Cure Chapter 215

Every detail of this space, every subtle corner, the posters, the books...is now branded into my memory. I’ve already pictured him here in so many different stages of his life. And it’s clear that his was an easy childhood. A good life. Comfortable and safe. I can see him thriving in it.

He walks over, shirt unbuttoned My gaze drops for a moment, catching on the shadows cast by the ridges of his muscles before climbing back up to his eyes. He slides between my spread legs, holding up his phone where I can see the chat screen, Alyssa, his sister. Last text reads, *Get down already . Gabriel's about to drive me insane asking for you.*

“I guess that means they’re all here?” I state, my voice quieter than I intended. He chuckles, a soft, teasing lift of the lips, like he knows exactly what I’m feeling. “They are,” he says.

Last night was fine. Overwhelming at first, sure, but I found my rhythm eventually. Xander’s mum had this way of erasing my nerves just by being effortlessly calm. But this? This is different. There’ll be more of them. And I’m not sure I’ve got the mental capacity to endure all that, not for long.

His fingers brush through my hair and I press my forehead against his hard abdomen, my arms wrapping around his waist reflexively.

“You should go ahead,” I murmur. “Leave me here a minute. I’m not really in the mood for socializing.”

He tilts his head down, gaze sharp in that way that makes me feel like I’m being read through and through. “Not a chance,” he says, soft but impossibly insistent. He then nudges me lightly. “Mum’s apparently threatening to make breakfast, maybe you can help.”

I lean back against the desk chair, letting my hands find the buttons of his shirt. I smooth my fingers over the familiar planes of his chest as I button up, taking in the warmth of his skin beneath the fabric. He doesn’t rush me, he simply watches.

When the last button’s done, he practically hauls me up, pulling me toward the door. With every step, the voices grow louder. We get to the top of the stairs when a voice suddenly cuts through the noise....sharp and impossibly loud for this hour. “UNCLE XANDER!”

I glance down just in time to see a little boy charging up the stairs as fast as his small legs can carry him. Brown curls bouncing, eyes wide with raw, untamed excitement. Adrenaline powering him forward. Gabriel...I remember him from the photo Xander showed me once.

“Careful Gabriel....” Xander says, his voice softening as he hurries down the steps to meet him. And then, just like that, he scoops the boy up effortlessly, holding him against his chest. The sound of Xander laughing fills the room and something inside me stirs in a way I can’t quite name. It’s not just joy....it carries a weight, a texture, a depth that reaches past the surface, like it’s echoing all the hidden pieces of him at once. I catch it instantly.

“I really missed you!” the boy, Gabriel, shouts again, burying his face into Xander’s shoulder. “Please don’t go away again.”

“I missed you too bud, ” Xander says, voice tender, pressing his forehead to the top of Gabriel’s head. “That’s why I came. I just had to see you.”

The kid pulls back slightly, eyes bright and shimmering with a mix of joy and something close to tears. “Really?”

Xander nods, a small, sincere smile tugging at his lips. “Really.”

He throws himself back into Xander’s arms, hugging him again, and Xander presses a quick kiss to the crown of his head. Then his gaze flicks up to me, I'm right where he left me. He gestures with a tilt of his head, asking me down.

I move slowly, letting my legs lead me to him. Gabriel lifts his gaze just as I get closer, eyes bright with that innocent, fearless curiosity that only a child can have. That innocence is familiar, and it makes my chest seize in a sudden, shocking ache, sharp enough to steal my breath. It hits without warning, and for a heartbeat, I almost stop.....but I keep going, each step trembling under the sting.

“Who’s that?” he asks, small voice full of wonder.

Xander doesn’t miss a beat, eyes on mine. “That’s Jax...my boyfriend,” he says simply.

I stand a step above them,Gabriel's eyes flick to me again, hesitant and unsure.

“Go on, say hi,” Xander murmurs gently, coaxing. Gabriel shifts, his breath catching. His tiny voice finally escapes.

“Hi, I'm Gabriel.”

I nod once, keeping my hands to myself. “Hi.”

The kid studies me for a long moment, then blurts, “Are you really Uncle Xander’s boyfriend?”

I glance at Xander, and there’s that quiet steadiness in his eyes. I nod. “I am.”

From the bottom of the stairs comes yet another voice, this one warm. “There you are!”

I glance down to see Xander’s sister, stepping into view, holding another child, younger, cradled in her arms. She’s a mirror image of their mum, and the resemblance is almost unsettling in its precision. Her smile is wide and teasing. “Finally decided to come down, huh?”

Xander shifts Gabriel slightly, lifting him just enough to catch her gaze. “I missed you too, Alyssa.”

Gabriel pipes up suddenly, voice ringing down the stairwell, “Mum, uncle Xander’s got a boyfriend!”

She freezes, then laughs and I force a small nod in acknowledgment when she turns and smiles at me. I can't help but feel like I'm trying to fit into this sudden, unfamiliar warmth. And nothing about it is either easy or comfortable...but maybe, just maybe, it’s not impossible either.

We head down, and the kitchen’s buzzing. Everyone’s here. The next few minutes blur....I can’t really process all of it. Damien gives some half-embarrassed apology for earlier, his fiance at his side looking polite, I guess. I nod, say hi. Everyone’s nice, but my focus is locked on Xander, he'd once told me all I needed to do was focus on him, and I do. That’s the only way I’ll make it through this without losing it.

His siblings tease him in that way that I'm assuming only family gets away with. Xander rolls his eyes, but there’s warmth there. Somehow, I end up next to Xander’s dad at the counter, helping with breakfast. Pancakes, eggs, bacon.....Xander’s right there, holding his niece in his arms. He inches closer than he probably should, getting in my way more times than I can count, but I need him too much to push him away. Gabriel refuses to leave his side as well, glued to him like some miniature shadow.

Alyssa leans over, peering at me as I whip together the pancake batter. Her eyes catch mine, and I feel a flicker of awkward heat. She turns back to Xander, grinning. “Okay, I get it now,” she says. “I see what you meant when you told me you’re being well taken care of.”

He tells her to shut up and she laughs. Then she suggests we all head to the beach later, the weather’s apparently perfect.

Xander doesn’t hesitate. “I second that,” he says immediately, and I catch the way his eyes shift to me. He leans just slightly closer, his voice low, almost like it's meant only for me. “It’ll be fun,” he murmurs. All I can do is nod.