Logan Chapter 30

-Logan-

I feel Emory finally relax into sleep behind me. I never thought I would be the guy that wants to snuggle, but I’m finding it difficult to extricate myself from Emory’s embrace. In a perfect world, I would shift and carry her to bed where she would be more comfortable. In the world I’m apparently occupying, my wolf refuses to move from our warm spot laying on our mate.

I still can’t think properly, but I’m at least aware of time passing. I like to think that makes me more than just an animal at this point. I doze off with Emory pondering the definition of humanity to the soundtrack of that one drama that gets wolves all wrong. At least this is better than being all the way across the street, and the warmth is much nicer, too. Emory will be much safer with me in here to protect her instead of stuck outside.

A little while later, my stomach grumbles loud enough to wake us both up. Emory startles a bit before she remembers letting me in. “Oh, I bet you’re starved, Logan-dog! Let me see what I have that you could probably eat.” She gets up and shuffles to the refrigerator. I hate to see that she’s lost weight in the past week or so. I wish we could have talked everything through so she didn’t have to be so uncomfortable without me. Normally, mates spend the first month of their acquaintance holed up together. It’s a sacred time to get to know one another until the full moon after they meet, when the mating bond can be solidified and completed. In my pack, it’s customary to take another week after that to celebrate like mates do- meaning, in the bedroom- before anyone is expected to go back to normal life.

We’ve been robbed of that experience because of my idiocy, but I’m not sure how anything else would have gone, either. Humans have become less and less suspicious over the years, which makes it easier for my kind to live free. The downside is that it’s much harder to integrate human mates. I wish I could ask my dad.

Emory makes a triumphant sound, interrupting my musings. “Ha! I found some broccoli beef from the other day. You probably shouldn’t have the broccoli, but the beef should be fine, right? I’ll have to get you some actual dog food before I screw up your digestive system. This is a one time thing, okay?” I wait patiently for her to separate out the beef and toss it on the floor for me. I’m so hungry I’d eat a salad right now. I’m not looking forward to choking down dog food, though. I hope I can be human again before we get to that point. This is already going to be awkward to explain when I show her what I am. “What a good boy! I’ll just finish the broccoli myself. I should have gotten a dog way before now. I haven’t had this much energy in days. You’re turning my whole life around, Logan-dog. I’m a mom now, I have responsibilities. I need to go to work before I lose my job and can’t feed you. You look like you eat a lot, no offense.”

I’m not offended because it’s true. I lick her hand to show her there are no hard feelings and try one more time to shift and explain myself. Still nothing. Shit. Fated mates are so rare that there isn’t much information to be had on them. Is being stuck in your wolf form a side-effect of being away from your mate? How long does it last? All I ever heard of was discomfort, especially for the female half. Discomfort, my ass, I think as I eye the pounds Emory has lost, the scratch marks on and around my claim on her, and the dark circles under her eyes. The separation damn near killed her, and I couldn’t operate a damn doorknob to help her. At least my presence now is helping her already. I nudge the takeout box back up toward her mouth when she goes to set it down. She needs to get her strength back up.

“You ain’t getting any more of this, mister! You already ate all the beef. Let me find a spoon and I’ll finish this rice to remove the temptation for you.” I may not be able to get my point across in English, but at least the result was the same. I make sure to send her a big doggie smile to show her I approve before I sit back down to wait for her to finish it before I try communicating my next request. I have to go to the bathroom, which is going to be tricky and embarrassing.

When she finishes her rice, I decide to go for the classics. I turn a circle, then walk back to the door and touch the door knob with my nose. I miss the lever door knobs at the pack house more than I ever thought possible. Stars, I hope Landon never finds out about this.

“Do you need to go out? I should probably get you a leash or something while I’m out for your food. For today, you gotta stay close to me. If you run off, I’m not coming after you. I’m done chasing males out of my weight class.” That one hurt, admittedly. I’m not out of her league at all, in my opinion, and everybody knows that’s bullshit anyway. But I swallow it down as my wolf dutifully follows her out the door. Little does she know, she couldn’t force me more than ten feet away from her right now. She’s lucky she’s not riding me like she mentioned the other day.

At the thought of her riding me, my wolf leans in and takes a big inhale of her scent. Just the jasmine and chamomile smell of her is a revelation to me. She smells so different when she isn’t aroused for me, and I find myself cherishing the knowledge of a new facet of her. Once we sneak out the front door of her building, she takes me around the block to where we can’t be seen from the windows. I doubt her neighbors care enough to snitch about a dog when they’re doing all manner of drugs around her, but Emory is usually a rule follower. This rebellion seems to have her paranoid. She keeps muttering to herself about how she’s going to get kicked out before she can afford the new place and how I need to work on my camouflage. I try not to roll my eyes, but it’s endearing, too.

“Well? I thought you had to go. It’s negative screw you degrees out here, Logan-dog. We gotta get this show on the road.” Fuck. I try to disassociate as much as possible and do my business. Luckily, my wolf feels no shame. Just a bodily function. I retreat into my head until we’re back inside the warmth of her apartment. Maybe if I can just stay closer to her long enough, my wolf will let the human half of me come forward? I can only hope at this point.