Logan Chapter 65

-Emory-

I made it through Logan’s morning at work, and meeting his friends, and it all turned out okay. I can think of ways things could have gone better, of course, but I can be satisfied with avoiding disaster. All we have left to really get through today is Logan introducing me to the pack elders. We’ll have to talk to them about cluing in my family, and about Cora, but after that it should just be a meet and greet. Logan seems to think of them as sweet old people that tend to have good advice. I’m having trouble picturing “sweet, old” wolf shifters, to be honest.

I suppose I should have thought about the fact that shifters get old just like everyone else. Oh, damn. Logan and I haven’t even had the life expectancy conversation. What if he lives two or three times as long as I do? I don’t know if the fiction on werewolves is accurate in this respect. I can’t leave him behind to be stuck as a wolf for a hundred years or something after I die. Surely the stars or whoever would never be so cruel?

We’re pulling up to the front of the pack house when I decide I just have to ask him. “Logan, how old are these elders we’re meeting?”

He looks at me in surprise for a second, like he didn’t think it would matter. “There’s a range, of course. I think the oldest is somewhere in his one-eighties? Most of them are rocking a century and a half, but of course our oldest wolves can’t be bothered with politics anymore. There isn’t a minimum age requirement- it’s mostly just the loudest mouths in the pack that feel like they want their opinions heard. We keep it to ten elders or less, with me as the eleventh to break any ties in whatever votes. Of course, I can veto whatever they come up with as Alpha, but it’s seen as overbearing asshole behavior if I don’t have a good reason. Why do you ask?”

This isn’t as bad as I thought, but it’s still not great. “Logan… how old do you expect to get? You said you were thirty-five when we first met, but were you adjusting that for my lack of knowledge? How are we going to deal with my very human life span?” His eyes widen as he catches the gist of my thoughts.

“I really am thirty-five, Emory. Most mated pairs live a little longer than a lone wolf would, but when one goes the other tends to follow soon after. If they have young cubs, the survivor tends to make it a few more years, but it isn’t… pleasant. I was hoping to make it to two hundred before I got so decrepit that I was tired of trying to do shit my body doesn’t want to do anymore.” Logan runs a hand through his hair and squeezes the back of his neck. I know I’m adding tension for him right before we go into a meeting with people he respects, but I just couldn’t hold it in.

“I don’t… I really doubt I’ll make it to a hundred. You’re saying you were thinking you’d live a hundred years without me? How would that work with the fated mate bond? Would you just be a wolf for a hundred years? What will we do about kids?” I can feel my heart start to pound out of control. “Will our kids shift? How is pregnancy different for wolves? With all the changes the bond has been making on my body- this physical addiction to your presence, for instance- is my birth control still even effective? Holy shit, Logan, why haven’t we been asking questions before now?”

Logan wraps his hand around the back of my neck. “Breathe, baby, breathe. You’ve got to stop spiraling like this. It can’t be healthy. I have to believe that we’re compatible in just about every way as fated mates. It doesn’t often happen for a wolf to mate a human- it seems like it used to be more prevalent, but it’s just hard to bring someone in on the secret, now. We’ve mostly stayed to ourselves for generations now. We’ve been a little worried about it, actually. Packs all around the world have been getting smaller just because you can’t kiss cousins.” He soothes his hand down the back of my hair, partially to keep my forehead against his chest. “I’m sure the elders and Deek’s brother will have answers. Pregnancy and childbirth are the same. I’m sure the life expectancy issue will have a solution just as simple. We have time to figure it out.”

I take a few deep breaths until I get myself together. If pregnancy is the same, probably my birth control is still fine. I have an implant, so it’s not like I can forget to take pills or anything. We have plenty of time after this crisis and adjustment period for me to find out more about fated mates. I’m sure the elders will have answers if they’re all more than a hundred. They must have seen so much. Suddenly, I’m less worried about them liking me and more excited to meet them. Maybe they can help us. I suppose they’re stuck with me whether they like me or not, so I’ll just make my best effort and accept their opinions of me as they come.

I finally relax enough that Logan seems to feel okay about getting out of the car with me. He kisses me on the forehead and sets me back in my seat before opening the door and dragging the both of us out of his side. I take a couple extra deep breaths as he tells the driver- I really should get to know him better- thank you and that we’ll most likely be here for the rest of the evening. Now that I’ve had a little attitude adjustment, I fix my skirt and my hair and prepare to march into that meeting with my head up. This is my first official meeting as Luna, and I like to start everything I can as I mean to go on. Fake it till you make it.