Logan Chapter 48

-Emory-

“I’m yours,” he says. I’m not sure what to do with that. I understood the fated mate concept intellectually- married forever, stuck in the same room until some mysterious moon ceremony- but I don’t think I really got it until he said that. We’re together forever, literally. Not only that, but I’m about to be dropped in the deep end of werewolf politics, which is possibly the craziest combination of words I could come up with on short notice. I’m going to have to navigate and eventually co-lead a group of people I have never met from a species I never knew existed.

I need to read up on how werewolves- wait, wolf shifters- are different from humans. I need to know who is important to the pack and who’s just important to Logan. I need to know what my expected roles are and who has been filling them while Logan has been single. Will I be stepping on toes by taking those duties over? Will I be thought of as lazy if I don’t? In a moment of pessimism, I think probably both. I have to be prepared to fight for a role I never knew existed and also be thought worse of if I’m unsuccessful.

The one bright spot in my ever-tightening anxiety spiral is that Nanette will be there, and I already like her. She’ll help me navigate the gossip, at least. From what Logan has said of Landon, he’ll be impossible not to like, which is also a relief. I know how to deal with little brothers, and it sounds like that’s who Landon has chosen to be with just about every adult in the pack. My family will also be here in just a few days. I can’t decide if that will be a comfort or an added complication. On the one hand, I know and love them and vice versa, but on the other, my regular, white-bread family is about to be dumped in the middle of a pack of wolf shifters. Do we let them in on the secret? My mom and dad would be able to keep their mouths shut, as well as my brothers, but Elliana could go either way. I don’t expect her to be afraid at all, but we can’t have her bragging to her friends back home about it when we already have shifter puppies (children? Ugh, more questions) in the news here.

I know I should be turning to Logan with all of my fears and questions, but I feel like we’re on fragile ground, still. We got to know each other with much more casual expectations on my part, and he’s used to the fun, carefree side of me. Now I need to be Serious Emory and I’m not sure if he’ll like this side of me as much. I don’t want to force our mating to feel like a merger. I don’t want to be an associate with the man I’m supposed to have as my only lover for the rest of my life. Until I can find a way to voice all my concerns without my panic showing through, I’m going to have a hard time being comfortable enough to actually ask for what I want to know.

“Emory, love, I can smell your anxiety. Isn’t there any way I can reassure you? Can you tell me what you’re worried about?” Shit. I forgot about that part.

“Oh, nothing specific. Just meeting everyone, I guess. You might’ve noticed that I can be a little… awkward. I’ve never been super comfortable with crowds.” There, that’s believable, and he couldn’t have missed it in the week we already dated.

“Darling, you think I don’t know that? After a week of talking about anything and everything, then a month of watching you in your own space? I know you, little rose, and I know that my people will love you. You have nothing to worry about.” Easy for him to say. He grew up with these people.

“Right, right. Thanks babe.” I’ll just think through it all on my own.

Logan gets a predatory look on his face, and puts the divider up between us and the driver again. He leans down to whisper into my ear, and I can’t hide the chills that travel down my neck at the move. “Maybe I should help you relax a bit before we get there, hmm? After all, we’ve both agreed that I have plenty of groveling to do. What about I get on my knees right now and get started on it? Should I go ahead and pucker up?” He bites my earlobe and I feel a shiver through my whole body, but one place in particular.

“Y-you uhh… you do have some making up to do. I didn’t think it would be by making out, though.” I can feel my heart tripping in my chest at the memory of what we’ve already done in this back seat. Despite the fact that groveling and sexual favors were what I had in mind, I can’t help but wonder if I can handle it. I remember clearly what our one night was like, and I thought I might die from the pleasure. I can’t imagine how I would survive Logan trying to drown me in pleasure, rather than just doing so as a side effect.

“I wasn’t planning on kissing your mouth, darling, though I’d like to get to that later. Take your pants off for me.”