Fell In Love With My Roomy Chapter 114

"When Cali turned twelve, she went to school in London, and I stayed in the city and went to a private school there. We didn't see each other much as kids because we all wanted to be far apart," he said, as I rested my cheek on his chest. "When I was fourteen, my dad told me to join a club or talk to the dean at Dartmouth. At the time, I didn't even know if I wanted to go to college."

I asked, "Did you ever apply?" He shook his head.

"Never," he said softly. "Really, never," I replied.

"Did you consider it?"

He whispered, "No, I never wanted to be like my dad. That was my biggest fear. When I was a senior, I applied to a few schools. Brown and Michigan were two of them. All I cared about was football, and it was all mine. I didn't do it for my parents; I did it for myself."

I whispered, "I'm sorry," and he nodded.

"I had to choose Brown, but I was in a wheelchair for months. Once school started in the fall, I was fine, but I had to go to physical therapy all the time," he reminded me, and I nodded. "For the next three years, I was the worst. I hurt everyone."

It made sense, because when the only thing that matters in your life is taken away, you must feel empty inside.

"They gave me OxyContin when I was in recovery, and it almost ruined my life. It was impossible to get off of it, so I started drinking," he said, and I gave him a squeeze. "I got over that too, and now I only drink sometimes. I stopped when I realized that when I was drunk, I would talk about my traumatic childhood."

I mumbled, "Oh my god," and he rubbed his hand down my back.

"Then I went back to what I did to blow off steam in New York, which was having s*x." He shrugged, and I sighed. "But that just made me feel...I don't know, empty? It didn't fill the void like it used to when I was younger, so I cut it out for the most part in the spring of last year."

"That's a bit more mature," he said, and I just shrugged.

He whispered, "When I met you, I hadn't been with anyone in months. Even when I thought I could get you out of my head, I couldn't bring myself to go to anyone else." "That Halloween night, I was drunk and upset. I watched you leave, knowing how much I liked you, but I was afraid to tell you the truth."

No matter how upset this makes me, I need to know the whole story. I just stay silent and let him talk.

"I went with Piper because I thought I could move on. I went upstairs with her, and the whole time it felt like everything was wrong. I couldn't get into it; I just didn't like her. That never used to matter before I met you; I could do it anyway. And while the alcohol was a big reason why I couldn't get it up, it was because she wasn't you. She didn't mean anything to me.

Kent almost did something with another girl, but he stopped himself because he thought of me. This probably shouldn't make me feel so good. But it does.

"I fell asleep on her couch because I was so tired. I didn't do anything with her that night, I didn't even kiss her, because she was nothing like you, she wasn't you, and I knew that if I did that, it would ruin everything I was trying to be."

That makes me feel a little better, even though it still makes me feel sick. They didn't do anything.

"The next morning, she showed me that video," he mumbled. "I guess she was mad. I think her plan was to keep me sleeping with her, and if I stopped, she'd show it to everyone." Then she had to change it because we never did end up screwing."

"She's a real piece of work, isn't she?” I say it quietly, and he nods.

"I know I should've told you about that because you were there too," he admits, running his fingers through my hair. "I've thought a lot about what you said and what you've been saying. Growing up, I had to keep a lot to myself. I didn't want people to see how messed up my family was or the trouble I was having with drugs, sex, or anything else. But I want you to know who I am. It wouldn't be fair if you didn't."

He gently intertwines his fingers with mine, and a surge of warmth travels up my hand and arm. He's completely sincere; there are no walls left.

"I hid those dark parts because I was afraid you'd think I was too messed up to be with. I just wanted you to know that you could count on me and that I was strong enough for you. Not some broken, addicted, walking STI with parents who can't even share a bed."

"Kent, that's not who you are," I murmur, sitting up slightly. "Not to me."

"Baby, that's me," he whispers, shaking his head.

"Listen to me, those things don't define you. Even though they're in the past, you're one of the strongest people I know. It's incredible that you've come through all of that and are still you," I tell him. "Through all our ups and downs in the fall, you were always there when I called or needed you. You've meant a lot to me. I started the semester with no friends or family, and whenever I needed help, I had faith in you."

When he kisses my forehead, I melt. When he's with me, my body turns into jelly. I'm so grateful to have him.

"Listen, Juls, I want to be there for you more," he says quietly. "I don't want you to feel like you don't know me. I want you, and I'll do whatever it takes to have you, because there won't be anyone else." He promises not to leave. "You have to believe me."

I pause for a moment. I believe him, but I know that actions speak louder than words. Still, I know what I want, I know my choices, and I'll always choose him. "Are you sure?"

"Yes, of course I'm sure," he whispers, tucking my hair behind my ear. "I want this to work." I nod slightly, but I won't get back in if he doesn't keep his promise. We'll call each other all the time, and I'll talk to you as much as possible. Then, when you come back, we'll decide where to go, all right?"

"Okay!"

I tell him, and his eyes widen in surprise. He looks genuinely shocked that I said yes.

"When you return, I'll pick you up at the airport," he whispers, and I smile.

I curl up on his chest and feel calm for the first time in weeks, but he lifts me and seats me on his lap.

I mutter and shake my head, "I can't believe you just did that," and he smiles.

"Since you moved in, I've been hitting the gym more. It's my new stress relief." He teases me, and I smile, feeling a bit shy. "Stay the night."

"I probably should."

He pleads, "Please, Juls, just for one night," and I chuckle.

"I was about to say I should finish packing first," I whisper. "I'll stay." He kisses me, and I wrap my arms around him. He holds me as if I'll vanish if I move. "I can't talk about Cali just yet," he whispers. "I need time."

I say, "That's okay. You've shared enough for one night. When you're ready, let me know."

"I missed you," he sighs, holding me close. I nod, knowing I missed him too.

"I missed you too," I say softly, and we share a quiet hug. This moment feels perfect, and he's being so genuine right now, and I love it. I wish I could have this side of Kent all the time.

After what feels like a while, I chuckle and draw back a bit, running my hand through his hair. "I still need to pack."

"No, because I know that by doing that, I'm helping you leave," he whispers, and I grin.

"Great, there's a kiss as a reward," I playfully say, rolling off him and walking back to my room. This time feels... better. It feels like we've achieved something.

I can tell it's going to work out this time.