Fell In Love With My Roomy Chapter 61

I wake up in an unfamiliar bed, the sun is shining in around the blinds, and I blink my eyes open. I instantly feel an arm draped over my body, and I gulp. My head's pounding, my body's heavy, and I just feel sick. Not from my hangover, but from sleeping here with Dane.

I don't want to be this close to him, I never cuddled with him. Not even before our fight this week.

I quickly slip out from under his arm and press my lips together, standing up. He's still dead asleep, and as soon as I look down at my phone, I see that stupid wrapper again. I carefully kneel down and swipe it up, heading to the bathroom. I doubt he knows it's even there.

I run my finger along the inside of the package, feeling the greasy texture inside. It must be recent. I memorize what type it is and then wrap it up in tissues as quietly as possible, burying it at the bottom of the trash can. I wash my hands and try to shake off the unpleasant thoughts that come to mind.

I'd hate to think that in the brief time we weren't together, Dane immediately screwed someone. I guess I get it, but I don't understand why he'd come back to me if sex was so important. I wasn't giving him any indication that I thought it was.

I had to try and tell myself that this had happened and now it was over, Dane seemed too nice to cheat, so I hoped and prayed this was the only evidence I'd find.

I need to stay firm on my angle to talk with him about what happened. I need to tell him what I want going forward so this never happens again.

"Juls!" I hear with a knock on the door, and I spring to attention, turning off the taps.

"Yes?" I answer.

"You up? How do you feel?" He asks, and I sigh.

This man could never cheat.

"You can come in, I'm fine. Just.....splashing some water on my face." I answer, grabbing a face cloth, wiping my wet hands on it to dampen it, and I press it to my face as he opens the door.

"Are you sure you're up to breakfast?" He asks, leaning on the doorframe, and I nod.

He had a great physique, looked like he worked out regularly, but he was skinnier than my roommates. Had more of a runner's shape. And somehow I felt nothing when I looked at him.

"Oh yeah, I'm fine. Just waking up a bit." I shrug and he smiles. "Where do you want to go?"

"There's a good omelet place I know, they serve good coffee too."

"Sold, I'll get ready." I answer, going back to the room and getting my bag from the chair in the corner.

I was tired, but I knew we couldn't start this relationship again without a proper conversation. I got ready in the bathroom alone; I still didn't feel comfortable changing with Dane in the room.

I don't know how long it would take before I was ready to get physical. A lot of it came down to body positivity; after I gained weight, I really didn't like the way I looked. I never got attention from guys my age or anyone, and even though I'd lost a bunch of weight again.......I wasn't ready to have anyone see my body. It made me nervous.

I step out of the bathroom dressed and ready to go; Dane's dressed too and he smiles at me as I set my bag down.

"You look nice." He grins and heads into the washroom to get ready. The first thing he does is fill the sink with water and shave.

"So, how'd you sleep?" He asks, rinsing his face and letting the sink drain. He starts applying skin products and I clear my throat.

"Fine." I shrug, watching him get rid of his five-o'clock shadow.

"Do you think you'd want to stay here again?" He asks, rinsing his face and letting the sink drain. He starts applying skin products and I clear my throat.

"Maybe another time, sure." I told him, even though the idea worried me. "I think it would be better if we took it slow."

"After you just crashed last night?" He chuckles, now moving onto his hair, fixing the style and applying some gel. I feel my hand trace the outer seam of my jeans, unsure of what to say.

"If I can, I'll stay." I say quietly. "But you know I've got a lot going on, my schedule is busy."

"Maybe you should look for spaces?" He suggests, rinsing his hands and picking up his toothbrush.

Face, Hair, Teeth. Is he doing his morning routine in alphabetical order? That's a little much even for me, I liked organization as much as the next person but I couldn't imagine doing something like that.

"We can discuss it at breakfast." I tell him and he shrugs, turning on his electric toothbrush. I sit quietly for a second and then I scoot around the bed to grab my phone and charger. My mind pauses, and he's still in the washroom. I press my lips together and quietly slide the drawer on his nightstand open. I peek through it and sure enough....the same brand of condoms are in here.

I need to try and shake this off. It's going to ruin me.

I close it again, making sure it's fully shut, and I stand back up to grab my bag. I hear him spitting out toothpaste, and I pack up my stuff to go.

"Ready to hit the road?" He asks, flicking off the bathroom light and I nod, grabbing my bag.

He leads me downstairs to his car, and I hop into the passenger seat. I look out the window on the drive, and I think back to Kent. I think about how much he'd been lifting my mood this week, the fact that we were so close last night and he just....wouldn't commit. Instead he went upstairs with Piper and it made my skin crawl to think that he'd slept with her.

"What are you thinking?" I hear, and I snap out of my thoughts.

"Nothing, just a big week coming up at school." I sigh. "I'm filling out this big application to do some research at Northwestern next semester." I answer with a shrug. It wasn't a total lie; I did have to fill that out.

I was extremely nervous about doing it, Illinois was a long way from home but I thought it would give me more experience. It was a fantastic opportunity and I was crossing my fingers that I'd get selected.

"When?" He asks. "Next semester, I mean."

"January." I answer. "There's a bunch of great first-hand oral history and artifacts brought in during the fall that we're going to examine. If I get chosen."

"How long is it?"

"A few weeks, Northwestern will place me in a dorm for the time of the research so I have somewhere to stay." I explain. "It would be really cool, I'm excited."

"But you'd be gone for a month?"

"Just one month, it would really push my career further." I shrug.

"Well....I guess if you've got to go." He shrugs. "Just sucks, I'd hate not to see you for so long. With Christmas vacation right into that...."

"I'll be able to call you." I assure him, putting my hand on his arm briefly. "I don't even know if I'll get it."

"You'll get it, you're bright." He insists, and I smile.

He parks a few minutes later, and I sigh, stepping out of the car after him.

The waitress seats us, and Dane looks nervous. As he should, the man deserves it for what he did on Monday, just to ask me to be his girlfriend a few days later. All of that heartache and sadness just to have him come back and say he was sorry.

"Denver omelet is good here." He says, trying to make conversation, and I shrug.

"I'll decide." I whisper, and he nods, clearing his throat.

"O-of course." He says, and I nod. I wasn't even sure if I wanted an omelet.

"I'm probably going to get pancakes instead." I shrug. "I'm not in the mood for eggs."

After we put our order in, I fold my hands, and he sighs, shifting in his seat.

"Alright what do you want to talk about?" He asks, sounding tired, and I chew my bottom lip. He felt that we had nothing to talk about?

"About the stuff you said, Dane." I sigh, shaking my head. "We can't get back into a relationship if you still don't trust me and you can't handle where I live. I also think it's important to talk about why we had that fight, and what made you feel that way."

"Look....Juls, it's hard for me." He says quietly, twiddling his thumbs. "Hard for me to feel the way I do about you but see you living there."

"But you said it yourself last night, you've got nothing to worry about." I remind him, shaking my head. "I'm lucky I have that place, that those guys care about me as much as they do. I always feel safe when I do something with them because I know they have my back....but it's like having older brothers."

"Are.....are you sure?" He asks in a firm even tone.

"Yes, what do you mean 'am I sure'?" I ask, feeling frustrated.

"I just feel..... feel like you and what's-his-face, the one with the dark hair-"

"Kent."