Fell In Love With My Roomy Chapter 119

"Not tonight."

"Why not?"

"Because I just wanted to see you, not sleep with you," he says quietly, tucking my hair behind my ear. "Plus, the walls in these places are way too thin; no way I'm letting anyone else hear us."

I blush when I think about the times I've overheard other people in neighboring rooms, and I give him one last peck.

"I'll be quiet," I counter, and he laughs. "I've been way too stressed out, help me out."

"There's nothing I'd do that you couldn't do for yourself," he shrugs, and I blush even harder. "You don't need me here to...relieve stress."

"But I prefer you."

"You drive a hard bargain, Juls," he teases, and I press my lips together. "You have my word that we will in two weeks, not tonight."

"Fine," I sigh, shimmying around to try and shake off the thoughts bouncing through my head. "I'm redeeming in two weeks though."

I sit up, and he rolls onto his back again. I lean over and continue undoing buttons on his shirt.

"Juls."

"It's not for sex," I whisper, getting the last one open and flipping his shirt apart. "I just... haven't gotten to see you recently." I shrug, running a hand over his chest and abs. "I missed you."

He gives me a half-smile and sits up, pulling me to straddle his lap instead. As soon as I'm there, his fingers trace up my spine and find my zipper, pulling it down. He then tugs down my sleeves, pushing them down my arms and revealing my chest. I'm wearing the bra he unintentionally purchased for me in New York, and I bring my hands up to cover the sheer cups.

"Jesus," he mumbles, grabbing my hands and sliding them down my body. "Forgot you bought this."

"You bought it, actually," I remind him, and he nods. "Happens to be one of the only good bras I own."

"I picked a good night for a visit," he chuckles, bringing his eyes back to mine. "Your eyes are almost black in this light."

"You're looking at my eyes?" I ask with a laugh, and he smirks, cheeks turning red.

"Among other things," he shrugs. "It's so good to see you, baby. You look really well." I smile, feeling his hands clasp my waist.

"It's because I refuse to eat at the meal hall food more than once a day, and I have to walk everywhere," I shrug, and he shakes his head.

"You're in your element, that's why," he whispers. "I can't wait for you to move back in, I miss having you home."

"Stop saying stuff like that; it's too cute," I mumble, and he chuckles. "How's everything else going? What about..."

"Piper and the girls upstairs?" He finishes for me, and I nod quietly. "They're around sometimes; if they come over, I just leave or lock my bedroom door."

I felt relieved by his answer. I'm so glad he's respecting my feelings on Piper and how she makes me feel.

"Can you make sure we're together when they find out we're dating?"

"Of course," he insists, shaking his head. "I don't need her messing with you while you're here; I want to do this on your terms."

"Good," I whisper. "If they do find out, I want you to tell me."

"I promise," he sighs, giving my hips a squeeze. "Should we get ready for bed?"

"Do you want to? Because I'll have to take off my bra," I whisper, and he laughs.

"In what world is that a loss?" he asks, flicking my bra clasp apart, and I gasp, holding it up. "I thought you wanted it off."

"Yeah, but I wanted to do it," I mumble, and he laughs. His fingers hook under the straps, and he tugs for me to let go. I eventually let him, and when it's off, he licks his lips, running his hands up to cup them.

"You're so...perfect," he mumbles, and my body breaks out in chills.

"Come on, you don't want to; stop grabbing my boobs," I whisper, and he smiles briefly.

"I just wanted to touch you."

"You make no sense," I answer, kissing his nose, and then I slide off of him, standing up beside my bed and trying to get my head to be less foggy.



I unzip my dress the rest of the way and get out of the sleeves, pulling it over my head and laying it neatly over Kent's jacket on my desk chair.

"How long are you here for?" I ask casually, going to my wardrobe and pulling out a long t-shirt to sleep in. I don't hear an answer and I look over to him, pausing what I'm doing. "Kent?"

"Hmm?" He asks, blinking a bit, and I sigh.

"I asked how long you're staying," I tell him, and then I press my lips together. "Is there some reason you don't want to have sex tonight? Is there something I've done wrong?"

"No, of course not," he says, shaking his head. "How could you even think that?"

"Well, you clearly want to," I answer, gesturing to the stir in his dress pants. "I just don't understand."

"I don't want anyone else to overhear us."

"I really don't care about everyone else," I whisper. "I care about you, and... I want to be close to you."

He sets his mouth into a thin line, and I sigh, pulling the shirt over my head. "You remember when we had our fight? Our big one before you left?"

"Yeah." How could I forget that? It almost destroyed me. He pauses a bit, almost gauging if this is the right thing to say.

"You... you made a point that really stuck with me," he sighs, and I pad across the floor to sit beside him.

"We both were pretty hard on each other that day," I remind him, and he nods.

"It was what you said about the sex thing, that I wanted to get into your pants and... anyway, it made me... I didn't like that I'd made you feel that way," he finishes, and I chew the inside of my cheek. "I didn't like that that was how you looked at everything, because... that's not what you are to me."

"I know," I insist, and he nods.

"Maybe now you know, but... none of this is coming out right," he mumbles, running a hand over his face. "I didn't want to talk about this tonight; I just wanted to come visit you. Because I really missed you, and I just... I want you back. I'll do whatever you want."

"Kent," I whisper, sensing how upset he is. "Look at me." I whisper, and he keeps his eyes down. I place my hand on his shoulder, running my thumb back and forth. "Baby, look at me." I repeat, and his head turns slowly, his eyes are going glossy, and my stomach rolls.

"You don't call me that," he whispers, and I smile a bit.

"Maybe I do now," I tease, squeezing his shoulder and running my hand down his arm to hold his hand in mine. "I've been hard on you, I have. I just... I don't really know how to handle a relationship with this much of my heart in it, I've never felt this way before and... always think about you. ..." I pause briefly, trying to say this the way I want. "I like control, I guess I'm trying to have my brain figure out how that works when my heart pushes so hard. I worry about messing up, and I... ruin things before they get good sometimes, so I don't let myself down."

He gulps, putting another hand over mine and squeezing our joined ones. "You aren't alone in that," he whispers, and I nod.

"Kent, sex is personal for me. It isn't something I can do with just anyone because it's the one time I lose control in my life. I can only do that with people I trust," I remind him, and his eyes sparkle. "I've never wanted to have sex in my life, never. I've never missed it or craved it... not until I met you."

"But I don't want our relationship to devolve into sex to fix problems or avoid things. You said that you didn't want that either, and... look at how we got back on good terms before you left."

"I know," I whisper, shaking my head, and he chews the inside of his cheek.

"I always used to have sex when my emotions were out of wack. It fixed things for me and put them into perspective. I couldn't do that anymore once I met you, but..."

"But that's how we fixed things?" I finish, and he nods, looking guilty for it.

"Yeah, and I don't want to be the old me, Juls. I want to be better for you, I don't want our relationship to feel wrong."

"You know that make-up sex exists, right?" I ask, and he pauses with his mouth open. "Nothing about that bedroom trip was either of us using the other one. We actually got back on the same page; it helped."

"I-I guess."

"And I'm glad we did it. I think it fixed a lot of our problems," I whisper. "That comment I made about the sex we were having when we had that fight came from a petty place and also a hurt one, probably because sex is so personal for me and private, but it's also what makes us happy. We've only done it like five times, Kent. We're not addicted, and it's not the focus of our relationship. I'm sorry I said that; I didn't realize you were going to take it that personally."

"I want you to be happy," he mumbles, and I smile.

"I'm happy," I assure him. "I know I also said that I was stuck on the Piper thing," I mumble, and he nods. "I know I told you it makes it hard to be with you. I want you to know that wasn't fair for me to say either. You can't change the past and what you did when we weren't together."

"I wish I'd just stayed clear," he mumbles. "The fact that some girl I hate was about to mess up our relationship made me sick. I'd never wanted to undo the past so bad." He clears his throat, and I sigh, watching a single tear leak down his cheek.

"Why are you crying?" I whisper. "I'm not upset."

"I need you in my life, Juls," he whispers, shaking his head, and I blink. No-walls-Kent was back, and this time with force. "I don't want to mess up anymore; I just... I feel like I made your life too hard, and I feel guilty for it. I feel like an asshole for ever making you cry and feel like shit."

"Kent, that was a while ago. We're together, I already told you I forgive you. You're not losing me," I insist, wrapping my arms around him. "I know we've had a rocky road to get here, but I'm glad we are, and I'm sorry you've been feeling all of this on your own. I left because I had to, not because I wanted to."

He nearly crushes my body against his, and I hug him back, knowing his mind has been too busy for his own good. He's so miserable, and I feel responsible.

"We're okay, baby. We are, and I need you to know that," I whisper, and he nods over my shoulder. "You've made my life better; I wouldn't be with you if I couldn't handle it. I want to be," I assure him, and his hand runs through my hair. "Tell me what I can do to help you; I don't want to see you this way."

"Juls," he whispers, inhaling a deep breath and burying his face in my neck.

"I'm glad you told me all of this; I'm glad we talked about it because I don't want you to feel like there's anything unresolved between us," I whisper, and he nods. "I'll be in your life if you'll have me; I want to be there."

He pulls back suddenly, his face full of emotions, like he had something urgent to say, and I furrow my eyebrows.

"I love you," he says quietly, and my heart skips a beat. Everything else fades away, and I grin, feeling tears prick my eyes.

"You what?"

"I'm so fucking in love with you, Julianna," he breathes, and my skin tingles, everything feels like I'm walking on air as he cups my face. "I need you to know that; I'm not just saying it because, I mean it. I don't say that to anyone, not even my fucking parents. But I've been in love with you since I met you, since the first time I opened your shampoo in the shower, since I kissed you against your bedroom door. I've been in love with you for ages," he says, his eyes wide, pupils dilated.

"I love you too," I answer too easily, feeling a massive smile spread over my face, and tears prick my eyes. "I mean it, I've never said that to anyone. Well, not the way I mean it for you anyway."

"You do?" He asks, and I nod, putting my hands on his shoulders.

"So much," I answer, and he gulps. "I love you for so many things; you take care of me, you don't let the world overwhelm me. I'm safe with you... and I know it's because you love me too."

His lips press to mine before I finish my thought, and he holds me tight. I kiss him back, needing him to know how I feel. I need to be close to him; he flips me down under him, and I wrap my legs around his waist. I grab his shirt and yank the shoulders down, wanting him to take it off.

He does, tossing it aside, and he smiles down at me, placing his hand on the outside of my thigh and running his thumb back and forth.

"I want to do this right," he whispers, and I furrow my eyebrows. "I don't want to have sex with you, Julianna."

My smile falters slightly, but I sigh, understanding where his boundaries are.

"I understand," I sigh, and he pulls his wallet out of his pants pocket, retrieving a new foil packet from the back and putting it on the bed beside me.

"I want to make love to you," he whispers, leaning back over me, and I smile so big I know it's impossible to miss. "I want to try!"

"I want that too," I whisper back, reaching for his belt. He grabs my hands instead and laces our fingers together, pressing me into the mattress, and I moan.

He's methodical about everything, slow and precise. It's nearly too much, but I love every second of build-up. From the way he slowly discards my t-shirt and underwear to the way that his mouth moves over my body slowly and his hands smooth their path over me. This is different than the other times; everything he's doing means something.

When he finally ditches his pants and boxers, I'm about to explode. He rolls on the condom slowly, looking me in the eyes.

"You sure?" He asks, and I nod.

"Yes," I whisper, and he crawls back down closer. I feel him brush over me, and I grin.

"I love you, sweetheart," he whispers, and he pushes into me. I gasp, wrapping around him completely, and he buries his face in my neck.

"I love you too," I whisper, pressing my lips together.

This is perfect; I wouldn't change this for the damn world. He loves me back.