Fell In Love With My Roomy Chapter 67

"You might think you're giving our relationship your all. You might find it crazy I haven't slept with you. I'm explaining why." I whisper, and he sighs. "Just so you know, I'm not a virgin, and you're not my first boyfriend," I add, feeling the need to clarify. He assumed I was a virgin because I hadn't wanted sex with him. Interesting.

"I can't plan a fall trip to Montreal. My job requires a month's notice for time off, and I work weekends. Weekends are for work so I can have weekdays for my job. I've told you this before; it's not new information. I have to pay my rent."

"Why can't you move out of your place?" He asks, sounding hesitant, leaving me speechless.

"To where?" I ask, crossing my arms.

"I don't know, move back in with your parents," he suggests, and I laugh.

"No way. I saved for years to move out. I need to be near Brown," I explain, running my hands over my face. "I've told you this too."

"Well, why not move in with me? Just until you figure out your next move." He suggests with a shrug, and my body goes cold, and I feel nauseous at the thought.

"It's too early for that," I whisper, stressed by his question. "And how would it change things? I'd still need to work at least twenty hours a week to afford to live anywhere else."

"Well, at least you'd be out of your apartment," he sighs, and I bite my lip.

He's never going to be the person I want. He won't understand me, he's too self-absorbed.

"Dane, we discussed me living with three guys. I thought it was okay."

"It bothers me, Juls," he sighs. "You expect me to believe you don't want sex because... why? Because you just don't? I think you're hung up on one of your roommates."

"I won't listen to this," I warn, my tone dangerous. "I've told you a million times nothing happened."

"You always change the subject when they come up."

"Because you get angry about it." I sigh, rubbing my temples. This conversation gives me a headache.

"This isn't working for me, Juls. It's keeping me up at night, making me sick. I need to know it's not happening."

I can't believe this. Things changed since he found out I lived with the guys. We should never have gotten back together. I regret this relationship. I'm with a territorial, closed-off guy who doesn't listen.

"And my word isn't enough?" I ask quietly.

"No, it's not," he shrugs. "Either we get physical, you move out, or we take a break," he answers quietly, and I blink.

"Are you going to change your mind three days later again?"

"Juls, you say you need more from me, but do you even understand how much it hurts that you never want to be near me? You never want to be physical at all. I find you hot and attractive, and you...you don't even seem to be attracted to me."

Maybe I messed this up by holding out so hard on all things physical. We've been living a sham, a stupid friendship with hard boundaries, and it's complicating things.

"I think you're handsome; there's nothing wrong... I thought we were going to have a proper conversation."

"I think we are, I think I'm getting to the bottom of things. Juls, it's been weeks without anything sexual going on, and I've been waiting for you," My phone buzzes in my pocket, and I pull it out, seeing Kent's name on the screen.

KENT [11:49 AM]

"Where'd you go? I really need to tell you something, Juls. It's important."

My mind is vibrating; I immediately send my response.

ME [11:50 AM]

"I'm out with Dane."

"I just don't understand how much more you need from me, Juls?" He says, sounding confused. "Are you even listening to me?"

"What? Of course, I am. We've established that I'm the only one who listens." I remind him, and a new text from Kent pops up.

KENT [11:51 AM]

"Get away from him, Juls. He's no good."

"I was going to tell you this morning."

ME [11:52 AM]

"Tell me WHAT."

"Juls, what are you doing? Who are you texting?" He asks, sounding pissed, and I feel my stomach drop as my phone buzzes again.

KENT [11:53 AM]

*1 IMAGE ATTACHMENT*

"I was out running in the city last night because I couldn't sleep. I saw him kissing some girl outside of a bar. She was blonde. I knew it couldn't be you."

My eyes fill up with tears; he's right; she is blonde. She's also skinnier than I am and looks younger. Then I start to think about why he's probably with me; he wanted some young girl to do whatever he wanted. That wasn't who I was. It was him, alright. He was wearing the exact clothes he wore last night on our date.

"Goddammit, Juls, what the hell is going on?" He asks, and I flip my phone around, feeling gutted.

"What the heck is this?" I ask, and his face turns pale; his brown eyes widen, and he stalls, looking nervous.

"T-that's not me."

"He's wearing your watch," I whisper, and he blinks rapidly.

"Where did you get that?" He asks, sounding frustrated.

"It doesn't matter," I mumble. "It all makes sense now, that condom wrapper I found behind your nightstand weeks ago, why you were so tired this morning...oh my god." I whisper, standing up, and he grabs my hand.

"Honey-" I just slapped him, hard. He blinks and instantly releases my hand. "It was a kiss, nothing more. I don't even know her."

"You're a jerk," I insist. "You're sitting here, pressuring me about sex and telling me I'm a lying cheater when you've been getting some on the side the whole time." I breathe, feeling tears run down my cheeks. "It was all a lie. I'm not the first girl you took out in a year; that was some line you use to get girls like me to trust you, wasn't it?"

"Juls, you're the first one I've taken out on a real date."

"This is so stupid. I don't want your excuses. I don't ever want to see you again. We're completely done, finished. I hate you," I whisper, trying to hold it together. I'm hovering right between anger and sadness.

"What else was I supposed to do? You've never-"

"Don't use the lack of sex to back anything up, Dane. Relationships are a lot more than sex, and you...you don't even understand how angry I am."

"Yeah, well...gives you a great excuse to run home and see your other guy, huh?" He asks, sounding irritated, and I chew my cheek.

"When you asked me to stay away from him, I did," I breathe, shaking my head. "Because I wanted you to like me. I thought we were important enough to do that...you didn't," I whisper, shaking my head. "Don't you dare go and try to make me feel responsible for this. You made this mistake, not me," I warn, walking away from him and shaking my head.

I step outside and take a deep breath, walking back to the nearest bus stop. I'm angry, so angry. This was supposed to fix everything, and instead, we broke up because my boyfriend was a cheater. I just wish I'd never gone back to him, never tried to prove that I was a big girl who could handle myself.

What would I tell Mom now?