Fell In Love With My Roomy Chapter 62

"Kent."

"Yeah, Kent. I just feel like you two are closer than you are with the other guys you live with." He shrugs. "He looked like he wanted to stomp me into the ground last night."

Dane wasn't very perceptive, none of my friends were okay with him there last night. I guess Kent's dirty looks were taken to heart.

"I need you to promise me nothing's going on with him." He says quietly and I feel guilt boiling in my stomach. I'm a liar, this isn't fair to anyone, especially not Dane.

Maybe nothing was going on with Kent, but I wanted something to be. I wished I'd just stayed with him last night anyway. Kent's never open like that, he opened that door a crack and as soon as he heard Dane was there, it shut like a watertight seal.

"There's nothing going on with him." I assure him, keeping my voice even and my eyes on his.

"I don't want you to see him anymore."

"Dane." I sigh, shaking my head. "We live together, that's not possible."

"Well, then......please don't hangout with him alone. I really fucking like you Juls, I don't want to lose you." He begs and I roll my eyes.

"Don't you think I'm capable of deciding who I have feelings for?" I ask, feeling tired. "Because I can, I have them for you and you're making it really hard to just date you and be happy." I whisper, shaking my head and he sighs. "I don't want rules from you."

"Juls, please." He whispers, pressing his fingertips together. "I need you to promise me."

I just chew the inside of my cheek, feeling agitated but I sigh. I don't want to fight with him anymore, I need to make a decision. But could I really stay away from Kent? Did I want to?

"Fine." I shrug, even though it wasn't. "Now I've heard your feelings, I want you to hear mine."

"I'm sorry for the things I said." He answers instantly and I press my lips together. I wanted him to hear me, not shut me down instantly.

"I understand that, but I think you need a real idea of who I am." I insist. "Dane, I am busy. That's not an excuse, it's the truth." That was mostly true, but if I really did like Dane a lot, I'd be making a trip to his place every night. I just wasn't there yet with him. "I know you think I'm lying or trying to wiggle out of things, but I really am busy. This can't conflict with my job, I need the money to pay my bills. And it can't conflict with my thesis or schoolwork, that's my future."

"Is there.......anyway you can guarantee me the weekend?" He asks and I shake my head.

"I usually work on the weekends, teaching swim lessons or guarding." I sigh. "I can't give you a whole weekend, but I could give you pieces of it? I can keep going on dates once a week."

"But....you can't do more than one date and a few meet-ups throughout the week." He repeats and I nod.

"How.....much more time do you want? That seems like a lot after not seeing anyone for a year, it's a lot for me after four and......it's plenty for a new relationship." I explain, furrowing my eyebrows.

"Juls, I want to see you all the time." He begs, pupils getting larger.

"Dane, I appreciate that and I think you're sweet. But you need to....slow down a bit." I whisper, tucking a piece of hair behind my ear. "I like you, but I am telling you, there is no way I can see you more than I am. Absolutely no way."

He seems to stir on that for a while and I chew the inside of my cheek. I hope that doesn't upset him.

"Well.....I'll take what I can get." He whispers. "Will you start spending the night more?"

"I'll try." I sigh, even though that didn't feel like the truth. I wouldn't, I liked sleeping in my own bed.

"I'm sorry I ruined things between us." He sighs and I nod. I'm sorry you did too, Dane.

"We'll have to work on building things back up, that's all." I tell him, trying to sound encouraging. Though the thought of doing that made me tired.

"I want you to know.....I feel bad about telling you that I think you're immature." He whispers quietly. "I know you're mature, you think things through and I'm so lucky I met you."

I feel my cheeks flush heavily, that was sweet. After years of feeling unattractive and bad in my own skin it was important to me that he said stuff like that. It made me feel better. It made me feel like we could actually work.

I was worried I was out of my depths with someone like Dane who clearly was older, attractive, flirtatious and intelligent. I wasn't those things, I wasn't even sure if this match would work perfectly, but trying was what was important to me.

"Promise me that you'll never say things like that to me again." I whisper and he nods, reaching across the table and holding my hand. I tense up slightly, I still wasn't used to touching him.

"I won't." He insists and I nod.

"Then I accept your apology." I sigh quietly and he smiles.

"I asked you a question last night." He reminds me and I press my lips together with an embarrassed smile. I knew it was coming.

"I-I'll be your girlfriend." I answer and he grins excitedly. "If you want that."

"I want that." He insists, shaking his head. "This is the start of a great thing with us Juls, you'll see."

I really hope he's right about that.

After breakfast, Dane insisted on covering the tab. I tried to suggest splitting it but he wouldn't hear of it. Dane loved to spend money and he loved to show off his platinum cards. It was a bit overwhelming when I'd only gotten my first credit card a few months ago.

"So.....you want to come back to my place for a while?" He asks, grabbing my hips next to his car and I feel nervous. "Seal this relationship and apology?" I didn't want to hop into bed, his size didn't make me feel safe, it intimidated me.

I never wanted to have sex, I definitely didn't right now and I don't know how long it's supposed to take for me to want that.

"I don't want to...rush." I whisper, placing my hands on his chest. "I'm glad we had that chat and worked things out but....I think I need some time before we get physical."

His expression was disappointed, I really hope he didn't make up with me in the vain hope of getting into my pants.

"Sure, I get it." He sighs and I sigh, leaning in and kissing his cheek carefully. "How about I bring you home, yeah?"

"Okay." I smile and he opens his car for me. I slip into the passenger seat and he drives me home.

I'm glad I stayed firm on my position about sex, I wasn't the type to surrender things that were important to me.

Once we're outside my place he places his hand on my knee. "I'll text you about a date this week, cool?"

"Cool." I answer. "Thank you for coming last night, it meant a lot to me." I whisper and he smiles, leaning over and giving my cheek a quick kiss in return.

"No problem, bye Juls. Have a good night." He says and I push open my door, giving him a wave.

I walk into the apartment, feeling tension hang in the air. Mark and Kyle were cleaning the apartment in silence.

"Hey!" I say, brightly. "Let me toss my bag and I'll come help!"

I head down the hall and chuck my bag on the bed, heading back to the kitchen. "What can I do?" I ask and Mark sighs, looking away from Kyle. Is he mad at him? "Is.....something going on?" I ask slowly and Kyle clears his throat.

"Apparently, I wasn't supposed to let you leave with Dane last night." He tells me, rolling his eyes. "To which I said, if it was such a big deal then he would have been out here and not screwing the girl from the gymnastics team."

"She's hot and flexible, sue me." Mark grumbles back and I roll my eyes.

"Mark, I'm not upset, you don't have to."

"Juls, I'm upset." He answers quietly, wiping the countertop. "That guy didn't deserve you taking him back, he's a loser. It was bad enough that he was here last night."

"Please." I beg, raising my hands and shutting my eyes tight. Everything already hurts, I'm already questioning if I made the right choice and this is ridiculous. "Don't." I whisper, shaking my head. "Mark, I appreciate you, Kyle, and Kent looking out for me, but you need to leave who I'm dating alone and butt out. I can't handle you three hating him; it's going to pull me in two directions and leave me in pieces. You need to trust that I'm making the right choices."

I open my eyes, and his shoulders sag; he looks sad for me. I feel sad for me.

"You don't have to get along with him, I won't bring him to parties or stuff again... but please just... don't hate him. Stop being mad at Kyle; I made the choice to go, it was up to me, not him." I remind Mark, and he nods quietly.

"Are you sure this is what you want?" Mark asks, looking concerned, and I nod.

"I'm sure." I insist. "I know you don't want me to be miserable, I'm glad I have you guys, and I know if this is difficult... but you need to leave me be with this." I tell him, and he chews the inside of his cheek.

"Alright." He says quietly. I'd never seen Mark this way; he was usually so happy. I never got the vibe that he was into me, but I knew he did care if I was okay.

"Now make up with Kyle, this is stupid." I tell him, and he sighs.

"I think so too." Kyle says, crossing his arms, and Mark clears his throat.

"Are we good?" He asks, and Kyle nods with a smirk; the guys didn't apologize too often, but I was making them.

"We're good; now finish cleaning the counter." He says, shoving his shoulder, and the two of them chuckle, continuing their chores.

I get out a broom, sweeping the living room and hall to try and get up the dirt. I'll need to mop it too once I'm done with this; the floor's gross. I put the bathrooms back together, getting toothbrushes and shower stuff back to their places along with our bathmats.

"You want me to wait to mop?" I call, getting out the bucket from the supply closet with the cleaner.

"Maybe just a bit!" Mark calls back. "We're almost done in the kitchen, and then we'll give it all a once-over!"

I bring out the bucket, and I walk past Kent's empty room. He's still not here? Not Piper, why her? She was so nasty, shot me dead looks, and was almost unbearable to spend time with. He said he didn't like her, that he wanted to make sure she didn't hurt me. I hope he won't do anything to her.

I remember what it was like the night that I stayed with him. It was so comfortable to lay in bed next to him, to look into his eyes. To tease him and have him smile back at me. Why did things get so complicated?

"Hello?" I hear, and my head snaps to see Kent coming inside. He slips off his shoes and takes off his coat. My heart felt painful; everything was begging me to get closer, but I hear Dane's voice in my head, 'promise me you'll stay away from him. He was right to make me promise.

"You look like hell." Kyle laughs. "Piper wears you out that much?"

"Fuck off." He answers almost too easily. Not in a defensive way, but in a 'I'm not talking about it' way.

He walks down the hall and immediately stops when we come face to face. He gulps, Adam's apple bobbing up and down. His jaw got tight, his eyes were bloodshot, surrounded by dark circles.

"What are you doing outside my room?" He asks quietly, and I sigh.

"I-I was just getting the bucket to mop." I nearly whisper. "Look... about what happened last night."

"No, don't."

He begs, looking very serious. Was he in-denial? Why does he keep getting further from me?

"You can't talk about that alright? Not to anyone, don't talk about anything Juls, please."

"Yeah, yeah. I'll add it to the list of dirty secrets." I mumble bitterly picking up the bucket. "Seems to grow every time I see you."

"It's not like that, sweetheart; you need to trust me."

"Trust you?" I hiss, shaking my head. He looks guilty, pressing his lips together. He really had slept with Piper, that's the only way this makes sense. "Just... forget about it. I'm trying to." I sigh. "And I got back together with Dane."

I couldn't help it; I needed him to feel as terrible as I did. But I saw this weird look in his eyes when I said that. At least it was sinking in.

"Okay." He sighs, running a hand through his short dark hair. "Well whatever, I'll see you later."

Men.

Who told them that it was okay to hold in every feeling they ever felt. It made someone like Kent impenetrable to vulnerability.

I need to accept this as reality; I'll find happiness with Dane eventually...... Right?