Luna. Chapter 23

(Lyra's POV)

Two weeks into my new routine, I was starting to feel like maybe I belonged at Mountain Cross. Not completely, not without question, but enough to get through each day without feeling like an imposter.

I'd found my rhythm in the kitchen. Sarah had put me in charge of meal planning for the week, which meant I got to decide what sixty hungry wolves would eat for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. It was challenging and exhausting and exactly what I needed to keep my mind busy.

"Luna," one of the younger pack members approached me as I was reviewing grocery lists. "My name's Jenny. I wanted to thank you for suggesting the vegetarian options last week. My little sister has food allergies, and it meant a lot that she could eat the same meals as everyone else."

"Of course," I said, genuinely pleased. "Is there anything specific she needs me to avoid in this week's menus?"

"Dairy and nuts. But you don't have to change everything for one person—"

"Jenny, every pack member matters. Send me a list of safe foods for your sister, and I'll make sure there are options for her at every meal."

Jenny's face lit up. "Really?"

"Really."

After she left, I felt lighter than I had in weeks. This was what being Luna meant. Not sitting in an office making grand pronouncements, but taking care of the daily needs of pack members. Making sure everyone felt included and valued.

"You're good at this," Sarah said, watching me add notes to the meal plan.

"At what?"

"Being Luna. Caring about people."

"I hope so."

"You are. Even Maria's been saying you're not what she expected."

I looked up in surprise. "Maria? The same Maria who thought I was bringing drama to the pack?"

"The same one. Yesterday she mentioned that you've been working harder than any Luna she's ever seen. Said maybe she judged you too quickly."

Progress. Small, but real.

That afternoon, Dr. Elena came by for my weekly checkup. The baby was growing well, measuring exactly where it should be for twenty weeks along. Everything looked healthy and normal.

"Have you felt movement yet?" Dr. Elena asked as she cleaned the ultrasound gel off my belly.

"Yes, lots of it. Especially at night."

"That's normal. The baby is more active when you're resting." She handed me the ultrasound photos. "Would you like to know the gender?"

I stared at the black and white images, trying to make out tiny features in the grainy picture. "Not yet. I think I want to wait."

"Of course. Any particular reason?"

I thought about it. "I guess I want something to look forward to. Something that will still be a surprise after everything that's happened."

“A good choice."

As Dr. Elena packed up her equipment, she said casually, "I understand your former mate came to visit last week."

"He did."

"How do you feel about that?"

I considered the question. How did I feel about Kael's visit? "Confused. Angry. Sad. Relieved to know the truth, but not sure what to do with it."

"That's a lot of emotions to process."

"Yeah."

"Have you thought about counseling? Individual or couples therapy?"

"With Kael?"

"If that's something you're considering. But I meant individual therapy first. You've been through a lot of trauma in the past few months. Rejection, exile, starting over in a new pack while pregnant. That's enough to overwhelm anyone."

She was probably right. But the idea of talking to a stranger about my feelings, about the mess my life had become, made me tired just thinking about it.

"Maybe," I said. "Let me think about it."

That evening, Magnus found me in the kitchen after dinner service, washing the last of the pots and pans.

"You know we have staff for that," he said, leaning against the counter.

"I know. But I like the routine. It helps me think."

"What are you thinking about?"

I scrubbed at a particularly stubborn spot on a roasting pan. "Dr. Elena suggested I consider therapy."

"That's not a bad idea."

"You think I need therapy?"

"I think you've been through hell and you're handling it remarkably well. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't get professional help processing everything."

I set down the pan and dried my hands. "Magnus, can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

"Do you ever regret claiming the Right of Second Chance? Taking on a pregnant, complicated woman with a lot of emotional baggage?"

Magnus was quiet for a moment. "Do you want the honest answer?"

"Yes."

"No. I don't regret it." He moved closer. "Lyra, you're not a burden or a complication. You're a strong woman who got dealt a terrible hand and is making the best of it. You're working hard to earn your place here, you're caring for pack members, you're growing a healthy baby. What's to regret?"

"The fact that you're stuck with someone who might never love you back?"

"I told you when we bonded that love wasn't a requirement. I meant that."

"But surely you want more than just a partnership of convenience."

Magnus studied my face. "What I want is for you to be happy and healthy. What I want is for your child to grow up safe and loved. What I want is a Luna who cares about this pack as much as I do." He paused. "You're already giving me all of those things."

"And if Kael keeps trying to win me back?"

"Then you'll decide what's best for you. And I'll support whatever decision you make."

"Even if it means losing your Luna?"

"Even then."

I stared at him, this good man who'd saved me from exile and asked for nothing in return except that I try to be a good Luna. "You're so weird."

Magnus smiled, the first genuinely warm smile I'd seen from him. "I'm real because someone has to be the stable one in this situation."

That night, I called my father from my room.

"Lyra, sweetheart. How are you?"

"I'm okay, Dad. Tired, but okay." I curled up in the armchair by the window. "The pack is starting to accept me, I think. Magnus is wonderful. The baby is healthy."

"But?"

"But Kael came to see me last week. He found out what really happened. About Seraphina's lie."

Silence on the other end of the line.

"Dad?"

"I'm here. I'm just trying not to say what I really think about that boy."

"What do you really think?"

"I think he's six months too late with his apologies. I think he had his chance to trust and protect you, and he chose to believe lies instead." Dad's voice was tight with controlled anger. "But more importantly, what do you think?"

"I don't know. Part of me is glad he knows the truth. Part of me wants to forgive him and try again. And part of me thinks it doesn't matter why he rejected me, only that he did."

"All of those feelings are valid."

"Dr. Elena thinks I should try therapy."

"Dr. Elena is a smart woman."

"You think I need therapy too?"

"I think you've been through more in the past few months than most people face in a lifetime. If talking to someone helps you feel better, then yes, I think you should try therapy."

After we hung up, I sat by the window looking out at the lake. The moon was reflected on the water, bright and full and beautiful.

My phone buzzed with a text message. This time it was from Kael: "How are you feeling? How's the baby?"

I stared at the message for a long time before typing back: "We're both fine."

"Good. I've been thinking about what you said. About me not trusting you. You were right."

I waited to see if he would say more.

"I know I can't undo what I did. But I want you to know that I'm going to therapy. To figure out why I was so quick to doubt you. To learn how to be better."

Therapy. So he was serious about changing.

"That's good," I typed back. "Everyone could use therapy sometimes."

"Including you?"

"Maybe."

"Lyra, I know you probably don't want to hear this, but I love you. I love our baby. And I'm going to spend every day trying to become the man you both deserve."

I read the message three times before setting the phone aside without responding.

Lyra, don’t soft hearted.