Luna. Chapter 65

(Lyra's POV)

Magnus caught up with me in the parking lot. His face was tight with anger, and I braced myself for the fight I'd been dreading.

"How long?" he asked.

"How long what?"

"How long have you been lying to me?"

"I haven't been lying—"

"You met with him secretly. You've been carrying around his secrets for who knows how long. You looked at me today like I was interrupting something important." Magnus ran his hands through his hair. "So I'll ask again. How long?"

"It's not what you think."

"Then tell me what it is."

I looked at him standing there, this man who'd given me and Asher a safe, stable life for four years. Who'd never asked for anything in return except honesty.

And I'd failed at that basic requirement.

"He told me why he rejected me," I said quietly.

"And?"

"And it changes things."

"What kind of things?"

"How I feel about what happened. About him. About everything."

Magnus was very still. "Do you still love him?"

The question I'd been avoiding even asking myself.

"I don't know," I said honestly.

"That's not good enough, Lyra."

"It's the truth."

"The truth is that you're sitting here telling me you might still love the man who destroyed you four years ago. The truth is that you kept secrets from me to protect his feelings. The truth is that I've been raising his child while you've been hoping he'd come back."

"That's not fair."

"Isn't it? Because from where I'm standing, it looks like I've been a placeholder. A convenient father figure until the real dad decided he was ready to step up."

"You know that's not true."

"Do I? Because right now, I don't know what's true anymore."

I could see the hurt in his eyes, beneath the anger. This was a man who'd loved me completely, without reservation, and I'd just confirmed his worst fears.

"Magnus, you've been wonderful. To both of us. What you've given Asher—"

"What I've given Asher is four years of thinking I was his dad. Four years of bedtime stories and scraped knees and first days of school. And now you're telling me that might not matter because his biological father has decided to show interest?"

"It's not that simple."

"It never is with you and Kael." Magnus shook his head. "I should have known this would happen eventually."

"Known what would happen?"

"That he'd find a way to pull you back. That all the healing we've done, all the life we've built together, would just... evaporate the minute he decided he wanted you back."

"He doesn't want me back. We're not getting back together."

"But you want to."

The accusation hung between us, and I realized I couldn't honestly deny it. Not completely.

"I want to understand what happened," I said carefully. "I want to figure out how to co-parent without destroying what we've built."

"And if co-parenting turns into something more?"

"I don't know."

"That's what I thought." Magnus stepped back from me. "I can't do this, Lyra."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean I can't sit around waiting to see if you choose me or him. I can't keep competing with a ghost."

"You're not competing—"

"I've been competing with him since the day we met. And I thought I'd won. I thought we'd built something strong enough to survive anything." His smile was bitter. "Apparently I was wrong."

"Magnus, please. Don't do this."

"I'm not doing anything. You are. You're choosing him."

"I'm not choosing anyone."

"No, you're choosing not to choose. Which is worse."

He started walking toward his car, and panic flooded my chest.

"Where are you going?"

"Home. To pack."

"Pack for what?"

"I'm leaving, Lyra. You and Asher and Kael can figure out your family dynamic without me complicating things."

"Asher needs you."

"Asher needs a stable family. Not a bunch of adults who can't figure out who loves whom."

"This is ridiculous. One conversation doesn't erase four years."

"Doesn't it?" Magnus turned back to me. "Because it feels like it does."

I watched him drive away, my heart breaking for reasons I couldn't entirely name. Magnus was right about one thing—I had been lying to myself about my feelings for Kael. But he was wrong about everything else.

I wasn't choosing Kael over him. I was just trying to figure out how to forgive the past without losing the present.

But apparently, that was still a choice.

And I'd just lost one of the best men I'd ever known because I couldn't make it fast enough.