Mine to Protect Chapter 114: LET ME GO

*Hazel*

I wake up the next day in my room, the sun is already up high in the sky. The memories of what happened yesterday come back to my mind, making me feel ashamed of myself. I shouldn’t have acted so impulsively, I should have gone directly to Derek and requested that he let me go, instead of making that show in front of everyone.

I think it’s time Derek and I had a serious talk, at least, if he lets me.

I hop in the shower and get dressed quickly in jeans and a T-shirt, not bothering to put any make-up on, then I strode to Derek’s office, hoping that he’s there. I knock, but no one replies, I try to open the door, but it is locked.

Maybe he’s training. I make my way towards the training grounds, but when I get to the packhouse’s entrance, two warriors stop me.

“Luna, you are not allowed to leave the packhouse, Alpha’s orders,” one of the warriors explains.

Son of a bitch! He’s put me under house arrest.

I am contemplating whether I should order them to let me pass, when a cheerful voice reaches me from behind.

“Luna, you are awake, good, I need your help. Would you mind helping me out?”

If there is someone, I would never say no to, that’s Rose, so I put aside my rebellious plan, and follow her with a smile towards the kitchen.

“What do you need my help with? I am not really a good cook, but I can definitely make myself useful by washing and cutting vegetables. I am a pro at peeling potatoes.”

Rose chuckles heartily, this woman has the power to make me feel light even when I am feeling depressed and angry.

“I actually wanted to show you the menu for the week, you haven’t been eating much lately, and I have started wondering if it is because you don’t like the dishes I make. Maybe you could add the dishes you like to the menu; I would be happy to cook something you like for you.”

This woman, she’s so much good in her, she’s still being so sweet and caring with me, even after what I did to her Alpha. She’s been with Derek since he was a kid, but she is not blaming me for hurting him, she’s enveloping me in the same amount of love she would him.

“Rose, your cooking is delicious, the best I’ve ever tasted, and I love all the dishes you cook, every and each one of them. You know why I am not eating much lately, after what happened with Derek, I don’t feel that much of an appetite.”

“But you need to keep your strength up honey, and honestly speaking, men love boobs and a meaty ass to grab, not a stick; if you want to charm your mate back, you need to give him something to look for,” Rose replies, wiggling her eyebrows.

I am temporarily stunned by her straightforwardness, but then a laugh escapes me, surprising me. I haven’t been laughing since the dance lessons, and my cheek muscles strain a little at the effort.

“I doubt that Derek would fall for my charms, Rose, he hates me, from the bottom of his heart, he will never want me back.”

I don’t say it in a petulant way, more in a matter-of-fact way, I am just stating the truth.

Rose doesn’t reply at first, busy stirring the stew in the big pot. I busy myself too, cleaning up the vegetables in the sink, and cutting them into cubes on the cutting board.

We stay in a comfortable silence for a little while, until Rose says, without turning around,

“Derek still cares for you, that’s why he’s hurting so much, because he feels betrayed, but he still can’t stop loving you. He is angrier at himself than you. Just give him more to make peace with himself.”

I don’t know if what Rose is saying is true, but I agree that I should try to give him more time, and if after some time, he still can’t forgive me, I will get out of his way, although my heart is already breaking at the thought.

I was still in the kitchen when a pack member came in to have a preview of today’s lunch and stared in surprise when he saw me there.

“Why is she here?” he asks, addressing Rose, and indicating me, “I hope she hasn’t touched our food, she could have some bad disease with all the men she’s slept with; I don’t want to catch anything nasty from her.”

He exits the kitchen after his nice comment, leaving behind a fuming Rose and an embarrassed me. The rumors about me betraying the Alpha, have just given more fuel to the previous rumors about me, just what I needed, more people to hate me.

“That jerk! How dare he say those things about his Luna. I will let the Alpha know about this; he must be punished!” Rose yells, her face red with anger, her hands trembling.

I caress her shoulders softly to appease her.

“Don’t worry, Rose, it’s no big deal, I brought this on myself. There’s no need to tell Derek, he’s already a lot on his place, I will deal with it myself.”

I kiss her on her cheek and thank her for chatting with me, then I leave the kitchen not wanting to cause any more trouble or attract unwanted attention.

The moment I step into the corridor, I nearly bump into Derek, who’s apparently coming back from a formal meeting, dressed up in an expensive suit, his face shaved clean, and his hair styled perfectly.

Why does he have to be this handsome? Even now that we are so apart that we are practically strangers, I can’t help longing for him, for his sweet words, his kisses, his touch, his carefree laugh, that look he gives me when he knows I am doing something behind his back, I want it all back.

“Can we talk?” I asked him, my voice cracking a little.

He spares me a glance, but doesn’t reply, he continues to his office and enters without shutting the door behind him, so I guess that’s my clue.

I enter his office, shutting the door closed behind me, and then I don’t know what to do anymore; he’s seated at his desk, should I sit on the chair opposite, or just stand?

“You wanted to talk, talk!” Derek says coldly, running out of patience.

I man up and go sit in front of him, thinking of all the things I want to say to him, where should I start?

“I am sorry for what happened yesterday, I should have come to you first, instead of going directly to the gate, I didn’t think it through.”

“The answer would have been the same, you are not going out of this pack, and now not even out of this packhouse,” he replies still in the same cold tone, busying himself with the papers, not even looking at me.

“Why? It is clear we both need some time apart; it’s not like you enjoy my presence here.”

I sound a little resentful, and I beat myself for the tone I have used.

His eyes snap up to mine, anger clear in them.

“And can you blame me? What’s with the need to leave? Is there someone else out there you want to fuck?” he asks mockingly, an evil glint in his eyes.

I know he’s only trying to hurt me, and well, he succeeded, but I try to keep my cool, reminding myself that we won’t get anywhere if we start yelling at each other.

“Derek, I am sorry for what happened that day, it was never my intention to cheat on you, the heat clouded my judgment, and…”

“Sure, blame it on the heat. You know what, I am tired of talking, get the fuck out of my office, I am busy,” Derek says in a deadly tone, letting me know that he’s losing his temper.

“Then let me leave, I will be completely out of your hair, you won’t need to see me again,” I tell him, not getting up from my chair. He’s done talking, but I am not.

In a flash he’s out of his chair, he has my chair angled towards him, one hand on the chair’s armrest, while his other hand is gripping my chin tightly.

“Let’s make one thing clear, although I find you disgusting, you are not allowed to go anywhere, because you belong to me, you are mine.”

A low growl leaves his lips, and I feel tears run down my cheeks.

“Now get the fuck out!” he orders while straightening up and indicating the door for me.

I get up on shacky legs and get out of his office. I knew he hated me, and that he couldn’t stand me anymore, but this confirmation just broke me some more; he will keep me close just to pour all his hate on me, until there is nothing left of what we were, of what I was.