Mine to Protect Chapter 19: GONE

*Hazel*

“Where are you going? When?” I asked, unable to hide my surprise.

His smirk grows; he got me there, I showed my interest, a little too much.

“Are you afraid you won’t see me again?” he teases.

I snort. But really, that thought crossed my mind, and anxiousness now has crept her way inside me, just like a bad dream.

“Don’t be cruel; I know that I will miss you terribly, and I am not ashamed of admitting it.”

I know that he wants me to say that I’ll miss him too, but I’ve never been good at expressing my feelings, and I can’t trust him with my heart, yet. It’s too soon.

So, I opt for asking him, “When are you leaving?”

“Actually, right now; my Gamma has been nagging me to go for the last hour,” he admits, sheepishly.

So soon.

I must have let my disappointment show, because his gaze immediately softens, and he cups my face with both hands, running circles on my cheeks with his thumbs.

“I will be back soon, I promise.”

“When will you be back?”

He scratches the back of his neck, showing his uneasiness.

“I think a few days, one week at most.”

He thinks, so he’s not sure. Why does it feel like he’s hiding something from me?

“Ok, well, you have my number, you can give me a call when you have time, so you won’t miss me too much,” I offer nonchalantly, even though inside I am starting to wonder if he’s already fed up with me and is just trying to find an easy way out.

“Erm, I am afraid I won’t be able to call or receive calls, it is a secret mission, and we can’t risk being detected.”

Bingo! So, he is leaving me! This mission thing is just a fake to break up with me. After all that crap he said about the mate bond, and being ready to lay his life down for me.

I feel foolish for believing him, for actually starting to feel something for him. What an idiot!

“And, I suppose, you can’t tell me where you are going?” I ask, involuntarily sounding annoyed.

“Nope. Sorry. But, as I said, I will be away for one week top.”

“Yeah, sure; I think you should go now. It’s not nice to let your Gamma keep waiting for you.”

That came out colder than I intended; I don’t want him to think that his abandoning me affects me more than it should.

His face falls a little. “Aren’t you going to give me at least one goodbye kiss?”

Why not? A goodbye kiss might help give me some closure too.

So, I stand on my tiptoes and place a chaste kiss on his cheek.

“Goodbye,” I say, before I get out of the ring and start removing my skates. All the while, I can feel his hot stare on me; he’s probably asking himself the reason for my sudden change of attitude, but he doesn’t have the guts to confront me directly, because he knows he’s in the wrong.

“I will station two of my guards to watch over you,” he says suddenly, joining me on the stands just outside the ring.

“What? Why?”

“Because I want to be sure that you are safe while I am not around.” The concern in his voice disarms me for a second. Why would he care? If he’s not planning to stick around. May I have misread the situation?

“That won’t be necessary, I’ve always managed by myself, I’ll be alright.”

“Like yesterday? I don’t think so. This is not up for discussion.” Now he’s the one who sounds annoyed. Then he exhales deeply, and adds, in a much gentler tone.

“For my peace of mind. My wolf will go insane if I leave you unprotected.”

There. So, it’s his wolf who’s worried about me, while the man wants to leave me.

“Nothing will happen to me, I assure you, I will spend all my time shuttling back and forth from home to office; see, nothing dangerous.”

“What about other men?” he ask suddenly, his gaze darkened.

“What other men?” I ask back, not understanding where this is going.

“What if other men try flirting with you?”

I scoff. “So, the guards are to keep other men away from me, not just for mere security?”

“Both. In the end, they are all threats,” he says matter-of-factly.

“You really are unbelievable!”

“What? Do you wish for other men to flirt with you?” he asks, getting worked up.

“I did not say that. It’s just that you can’t take my freedom away from me, it does not work like that between partners. The relationship should be based on mutual trust, and not on coercion.”

“So, we are in a relationship!” he exclaims, arching his eyebrows.

I roll my eyes annoyed. “Is that the only thing you registered from what I just said?”

“I just focus on the important parts,” he counters arrogantly.

I shut my eyes, count to five, then open them again.

“Weren’t you supposed to be in a hurry to leave?”

“You make it sound like I want to leave; I assure you that’s not the case, I’d rather spend the next few days by your side, taking care of you. You’ll werewolf traits will start showing, and I wish I could be here to help you through it.”

His concern seems sincere, and now I really start rethinking the situation; maybe he’s not trying to leave me, after all, he just doesn’t have a choice about it.

Isn’t he a powerful Alpha, though, can’t he do whatever he wants? Maybe it has something to do with his duties to his pack. Gosh, I feel so confused.

And now that he reminded me about the changes that I will have to deal with in the next future, I feel even more so. Confused, and scared too. And he won’t be here for me, willing or not. He will be somewhere unknown, where I can’t reach him, and he’s not even sure when he will be coming back.

“Hey, don’t worry, you’ll be alright. Don’t forget that you’re just discovering your true self, it’s your nature, you will adapt in no time.”

I give a half-hearted nod of my head, and he surprises me with a sweet kiss to my forehead.

“I will think about you every day and night,” he murmurs softly against my forehead, and then he’s gone, like a gust of wind; I didn’t even get to see his retreating back.

Now that he’s really gone, the knowledge that I won’t see him anytime soon finally sinks in, and I regret not sharing my true feelings, not telling him that I will miss him too.