Mine to Protect Chapter 119: PAINFUL SILENCE

*Hazel*

I have already moved my stuff to my new apartment, not that I had much to move anyway, and I am so happy now that nothing can spoil my mood today. Or at least, that’s what I thought, until my ballet class, when I felt two eyes bore into my back.

I turn back, and I am met with a pair of familiar blue eyes, the same eyes that torment my every waking moment and my every dream. My fated mate, the man I hurt deeply, the one who crushed me in return, is gazing at me from outside the classroom’s glass wall, his expression unreadable.

My heart starts beating erratically in my chest, feelings I have tried to keep at bay in the last two months resurface with a vengeance, and for a couple of seconds I forget how to breathe.

No, I can’t let him affect me like this, fated or not fated, we broke up for a reason, and there is no way I’m going back to him after what happened. Fuck the bond!

Now that I feel a little calmer, I take a better look at him; he looks good, freshly shaved, wearing casual smart, a small backpack hanging from his shoulder. A mean part of me feels disappointed, hoping that he would look more haggard, that he would still be suffering for my absence. But that’s just the selfish part of me, the rational one feels relieved that he’s not suffering anymore.

I wonder what he’s doing here, and if Damon told him where to find me.

We keep staring at each other for a few moments, until he looks down and I am brought out of my trance. I am in the middle of class, I can’t space out like this; luckily the kids are still practicing their exercises, seemingly not having noticed anything.

I continue with my lesson, feeling anxious and on edge, knowing that Derek is just a few meters away, and every time I dare a look in his direction, I find him gazing at me, with that same unreadable expression, which makes my heart thunder, and my insides churn with unease.

The lesson seems to last forever, and when finally, it is over and all my students leave the room, I feel his footsteps approach, sounding strong and heavy on the parqueted floor.

I don’t know where I find the courage, but I turn around to face him, although I am not brave enough to say anything, so we just stare at each other for a few moments, a tense silence between us.

“Hi,” he says, finally, his voice low and husky.

Why does he have such a sexy voice? How am I supposed to keep my distance when he talks like that?

“Hi,” I reply in small voice, feeling utterly stupid; we are behaving like a couple of teenagers, after their first break up. We are just ridiculous.

Awkward silence again.

Why isn’t he saying anything? He’s the one who came here to find me, he must have had a reason, apart from getting a good look at me.

“Damon didn’t say anything, I found you on my own.”

Good, at least Damon has been true to his word. I nod in understanding, hoping that he continues talking, and gets to the main point, which is, the reason he’s here.

Silence again.

Man, you are killing me with all this silence, it’s making my anxiety levels spike over the roof.

“Why are you here?” I asked him directly, not able to wait any more.

But instead of giving me an answer, he asks me another question in return, “Is there somewhere more private we can talk?”

I see some vulnerability in his gaze, and I know that it must have taken him a lot to come here, so I decide I should throw him a bone.

“We can go to my place.”

I figured he would find its location easily anyway, if he was able to find me here. I am tempted to add “but don’t get any strange ideas”, but I decide to keep it to myself, not wanting to sound overly defensive and bitchy.

“Ok,” he nods in agreement.

I put my coat on and got my gym bag, then typed a message on my mobile, sending him my address.

“Wait a few minutes before you exit, it’s better we are not seen together.”

I see his jaw clench at my words, and hurt flushes in his eyes, making me automatically feel guilty, although I don’t think I said anything hurtful.

I don’t stay there to ponder on his reaction for long, I exit the building, walking towards my apartment, already regretting my decision of inviting him there.

*Derek*

I am left speechless. Why is she afraid of people seeing us together? Is she dating someone? The detective said that she wasn’t seeing anyone, but he could have made a mistake.

Rage and sadness fill me at the thought that she could have already moved on, that she was willing to forget me so easily.

I must keep a straight head, these are only conjectures, I shouldn’t get worked up over something that I don’t even know is true.

When she asked me why I came here, my heart died a little; things didn’t go as I was expecting. I hoped that on seeing me, she would throw herself in my arms, and the Goddess knows I would have held her tight and never let her go. But things never go the way we hope, and I got the kind of greeting I deserved.

The hope that today I will make her come back by my side is slowly evaporating in the evening’s brisk hair, and when I get to her apartment door, I feel so nervous, that I am contemplating on giving up and coming back another time. Although, I don’t think I will ever have a chance like this, and an Alpha never cowers in fear, even if at stake is his heart.

I ring her doorbell, and she opens immediately, a guarded expression on her angelic features.

A stark difference from a few months ago, when her eyes would light up at seeing me, now I am only met with her unease and distrust.

She had changed into a pair of loose trousers and a loose T-shirt, maybe in the hope that I would stop ogling at her. Useless attempt, kitten, you could wear a sack of potatoes, and you would still look like the sexiest woman on the planet to me.

She stands back, giving me space to enter through the tight corridor. I purposely brush my hand on her arm on my way in, relishing the faint tingles, giving me further proof that our bond is not broken yet.

She shivers at my touch and tries to cover it by brushing her arm with her hand, but I have caught her, and my heart is soaring at the thought that I still have an effect on her. There’s still hope.

I walk into the small apartment, it’s mainly open space, living room, dining room and kitchen all in one space, while two doors lead to the bathroom and bedroom, I guess. The décor is perfect, modern but homey, with some hints of stylish here and there; I love it, just like I love its designer.

“You did a good job, the apartment looks nice,” I say, trying to break the ice.

She dares a quick glance at me, her cheeks rosy from embarrassment, and then looks away, her fingers fidgeting with her long T-shirt.

“Can I sit?” I asked her, motioning for the sofa.

“Sure,” she replies, still in a small voice, and not looking directly at me.

I sit on the right end of the sofa, so that even if she chooses to sit on the armchair, instead of on the sofa with me, I would still be in her proximity, and from here, I can dare another touch, when she passes to sit down.

But she doesn’t get anywhere near me, she stands there for a second, and then asks, “Would you like something to drink? Coffee, maybe?”

“Coffee would be alright, thank you.”

And off she goes, busying herself in the kitchen behind me.

I stand up and go to sit on a stool at the kitchen’s isle, this way I can be in her proximity. She tenses up when I sit there, but she doesn’t comment or move away.

I sit there in silence, watching her, until the coffee is ready, and she brings both coffees to the dining table, together with a plate of pastries. I follow her there, and wait for her to sit down first, so that I can sit in the nearest seat; but she doesn’t sit down, I know it’s not out of politeness, she’s waiting for me to sit first, so that she can sit as far away from me as possible. It’s like playing a mouse and cat game, only I am not a cat, I am a wolf, and there’s no way I’ll let you escape, my little mouse.