Mine to Protect Chapter 126: JUST TELL ME

*Hazel*

When we get to the restaurant, he places me down carefully, and then holds me by my waist into the restaurant, making sure that I am well seated, before he takes his own seat.

We both order steak with French fries and a side salad, I get some water, while Derek orders a glass of red wine. I would love to get some wine too, but I am worried that in my weakened state I would get immediately drunk, and there’s no telling what I am capable of doing when I am drunk.

We eat in pleasant silence, and when we are finished, Derek takes something out of his trousers’ pocket, it’s a small black box, and my nerves come back tenfold at the sight of it.

“Derek…” I start, but he doesn’t let me finish.

“Just hear me out first,” he says gently, and I know it is taking him a lot to keep himself calm.

He opens the small box, it contains my ring, the one he gave to me when he proposed, only this time it is looped on a white gold chain.

“You left it behind when you went away, and I wanted to find an opportunity to give it back to you. This was a gift for you, it will be always yours, no matter what happens between us. I want you to take it back. I have put it on a chain, so that you can wear it as a pendant instead of on your hand.”

“I cannot accept it, Derek,” I say, feeling torn inside.

“You must accept it, it is the symbol of the love we had, and even though you might not feel the same way now, those feelings still live in here.”

He rises from his chair and comes to stand behind me, then he pushes my hair over my shoulder, his fingers gingerly brushing my neck, and he fastens the thin chain, the pendant reaching my breastbone.

“Thank you,” I say shily, while Derek places a feathery kiss on my neck, and then goes to pay the bill, leaving me there ready to explode with nerves.

After lunch, I had recovered enough energy to walk by myself, so we walked back to the car, but this time he didn’t hold my hand or take me under his arm, we walk side by side, with some distance between us. He’s also awfully quiet, and I wonder if I have hurt his feelings again.

The car ride is silent too, and it feels like ages before we get back to the packhouse. I immediately go back inside, saying that I am feeling tired, when I really just want to get away from him for a while, and be on my own to straighten my thoughts out.

Although I am staying in his room, he probably understands my need to stay alone, so he doesn’t follow me there, and doesn’t come back to the room for the whole afternoon.

At some point, Rose comes to my room with dinner for two, and we eat in the room together, catching up with each other. I am happy that I don’t need to eat in the dining room with everyone, I am not sure they would appreciate the presence of their ex-Luna.

Dinner goes by, it’s already late, but Derek still hasn’t come back. Is he already fed up with me? Did I hurt him at lunch, when I refused the pendant? Or maybe, he’s gone back to hating me, and he thinks that I am disgusting.

All kinds of possibilities run through my mind, making it impossible for me to sleep, until I decide that I had better ask him directly, before I lose my mind. Afterall, I have nothing to lose.

“Are you asleep?” I ask through the mind-link, not really sure if he’s going to answer me.

“No, I am in my study. Sorry, I have been a bit busy. I thought you would have already been asleep by now.”

“Ok, I just wanted to check on you. Bye,” I say in a hurry, feeling incredibly stupid, he was just working his ass off, and here I am thinking the worst. I block the mind-link, before he can link back and embarrass me further.

After a few seconds the door flies open, and Derek storms inside ready to attack.

“Are you ok?” he asks, with a panicked expression on his face.

“Yes,” I reply, startled by his behavior.

He exhales deeply, a scowl appearing on his forehead.

“Why did you block the mind-link? I thought someone attacked you, or that the poison made you ill!” he scolds me, making me feel guilty for scaring him for nothing.

“Sorry, I was just feeling embarrassed,” I reply sheepishly.

His eyebrows shot up in surprise, and he asks, not understanding, “Embarrassed for what?”

“Never mind, you can go back to your work, I’ll sleep now,” I reply, hoping he’ll let it go.

“Actually, I am tired too, I think I’ll go to sleep now too,” he says, taking his trousers and T-shirt off, and going to the bathroom to freshen up.

When he comes back, I pretend I am already asleep, and he pretends to believe my lie, then climbs on the double bed with me, and spoons me, making my eyes fly open.

“Good night, little mate, I hope you’ll dream of me,” he says softly, kissing my head.

He didn’t even ask me if he could sleep in the same bed, although, for the quick healing of my wolf, I guess I can accept this sleeping arrangement for one night.

Also, having him this close with clothes on is one thing, but nearly naked, he wears only his boxers, and I can clearly feel the outline of his manhood pressing on my backside. I will never be able to sleep like this, I feel so nervous and excited that I could burst into flames at any moment.

On the other hand, he’s incredibly calm, his heartbeat is steady, and he looks completely relaxed; isn’t he affected in the least by my presence? Even this morning, he was the one who kept a straight head and put a stop to our make out session.

I wonder if he’s not interested in me physically anymore.

“Hazel, what’s going on in that cute mind of yours? Your heart is thumping like a drum,” Derek says somewhere above my head, his voice a little thick with sleepiness.

“It’s nothing, sleep,” I reply, trying to keep the tension out of my voice.

Of course, he doesn’t buy it and turns me with my back flat on the mattress, and him hovering over me, a pointed expression on his face.

“Just tell me. Do you feel uncomfortable sleeping with me?”

I swallowed, undecided on what to answer. Of course I am feeling uncomfortable, although I like his presence around me, the real question is, why isn’t he feeling uncomfortable?

He frowns at my silence, and then says, “I can sleep in the room nearby.”

He starts to climb off the bed, but I stop him, grabbing him by his arm.

“Wait, don’t go, sleep here,” I say, sounding incredibly needy. Why do I always act like this around him, don’t I have any filter?

I know that I shouldn’t sleep with him, but the idea of sleeping alone, after I have tasted the warmth and comfort of his strong arms, feels just incredibly grim.

He sits for a moment at the side of the bed and slides his palms down his face in an attempt to calm himself. Did I make him angry?

“Hazel, you’re driving me mad, do you want to sleep alone, or do you want me to stay?” he asks frustrated, his back at me, while he’s facing the wall.

“Stay,” I reply in a small voice, feeling guilty for giving him whiplash.

This time, he turns around, an indecipherable expression on his face; he pulls the covers up by their hem, and waits for me to slide in, then covers us both, and lies next to me.

“Why don’t you call me kitten anymore?” I ask him, after a moment of silence, although I know he is awake, because we are both lying on our backs with our eyes open.