Mine to Protect Chapter 120: YOU ARE STILL MINE

*Derek*

“Have a seat,” I say politely, smirking inside; now she has to take a seat first.

She bits her lower lip, and then sits on one of the seats on the long side of the table, while I sit at its head. We are close enough to touch hands if the opportunity arises.

“I am happy to see you are doing good. You have a lot of projects on your hands, and plus the ballet lessons, you must be very busy,” I say trying to start a conversion.

Her continuous silence is killing me, it makes me feel rejected, like she doesn’t even want to talk to me.

She raises her gaze to me, her eyes hard, and she asks me again, “Why are you here, Derek?”

My name on her lips is the better sound in the world, only equaled by the sound of her laughter and her moans in the bedroom.

“Do I need a reason to come see my mate?” I try to sound calm and playful, but inside I am a mess of nerves.

She frowns, and then looks down at her coffee.

“I am not your mate anymore,” she says, delivering a painful shot to my heart.

“You still are,” I caress the back of her hand with my fingers, “you can certainly still feel the tingles when we touch. The bond may be damaged, but it’s not broken. I haven’t accepted your rejection.”

She recoils her hand where my fingers can’t reach her. Ouch.

“Why?”

“Because I love you, and I want to be with my mate,” I tell her honestly, hoping that being straightforward will get me some points.

Her frown deepens, and she keeps staring at her coffee, her hands now coiled into fists on the table.

“Last time I checked, you didn’t want anything to do with me, and you thought I was disgusting; so, sorry, if I find it difficult to believe your words.”

There’s some venom in her words, and I know that she is still very much angry for how I’ve treated her at the time, which is completely understandable.

“I am sorry for what I said or done to hurt you; I was possessed by my rage and wasn’t completely in control of myself. I truly am sorry, and I will do whatever in my power to make it up to you. I love you, kitten, please, come back to me.”

I hear her heart thud at the word kitten, the nickname I used to call her.

“Don’t call me that, I am not your kitten anymore,” she says harshly, tears threatening to spill from her eyes.

Another blow to my already broken heart, why can’t she accept my love? Doesn’t she love me anymore? Have I messed up so badly that she can’t forgive me?

Or maybe, she really has someone else.

“Are you seeing someone?” my voice sounding bitter than I intended. And I regret my words as soon as they are out, but it is already too late.

She suddenly looked up at me, her tears gone, her frown now turned into a full out scowl.

“A whore is always a whore, isn’t it? Is that why you are here? To check if your mate is spreading her legs for someone else?”

She stands up abruptly and walks rapidly to the door, opening it wide for me.

“Get out!” she orders, standing beside the opened door.

What the fuck, how did everything go awry so quickly? One moment we are drinking coffee, and the next she is kicking me out of her apartment. I don’t move, too panicked to do anything.

“I said, get out!” she orders again, this time her voice is slightly raised.

I get up from my chair, and make my way to her slowly, but when I get in front of her, instead of taking my leave, I envelop her in a tight hug, burying my face in the crook of her neck, inhaling deeply her delicious scent, mango and coconut, I missed it so much.

I take advantage of her surprise, to shut the door closed, and then I cup her face with my hands, making her look at me.

Tears are running down her cheeks, and I try to dry them up with my thumbs. She pushes me with her hands, trying to make me let go, but I won’t until I am sure that she hears me out.

I take a step forward, pushing her lightly against the wall, this way she can’t escape me.

“Kitten, listen to me, you are not a whore, and I never thought you were. I was just angry, and hurt, and wanted to hurt you with the same amount of pain. I know I was wrong, and what I did was despicable, and I am still ashamed of myself for what I have done. Please, forgive me, give me another chance. I will treat you like a queen, like you deserve, I won’t hurt you anymore, I swear. Please,” I plead with her, hoping that she can hear the sincerity in my words.

She cries harder, her hands still pushing on my chest.

“No, you don’t get to do this! You don’t get to mess up everything, now that I’ve finally found some kind of normalcy. You don’t get to say I am sorry and pretend everything is forgiven, after how you made me feel! You don’t get to make me want you again. I can’t let you break me again,” she says between sobs and sniffles.

She slowly slides down the wall, until she reaches the floor, I crouch down in front of her and let go of her face, and she covers hers with her slender hands, hiccups shaking her small frame.

I feel so guilty for hurting her so badly, so much that she’s afraid to trust me again. How can I make her understand that I love her and that I will never ever hurt again?

I caress her arm, but she angrily swats my hand away.

“Go, please,” she pleads with me, between sobs.

“Kitten, please, don’t be like this, give me a chance, just another chance.”

Now I am the one who’s pleading, the one who’s near tears. Please, kitten, take me back, I’ll do anything, anything.

She curls up into a ball, her face hidden behind her knees and keeps crying without giving me any reply.

I waited for a few moments, but her crying didn’t relent, and I knew that there was no way we could keep talking like that, so I decided I better give her some space, and try to approach her another time.

I stand up and tell her as calmly as possible, “I will wait for you forever, because you are the only woman I will ever love. Take the time you need, and then come back to me.”

I am serious when I say that I love and will love only her, for the rest of my life, no one can ever take her place, so I can wait for her, until she is ready, I only hope that she will at least give me the chance to stay beside her, if not as her mate, as a friend can work too, anything that will allow me to see her, to hear her voice, to talk to her. Because without her, everything is dull and uninteresting, and the pain of knowing I have pushed her away, it’s something I cannot cope with anymore.

I get in my car completely dispirited, my dream of getting my mate back getting harder and harder to reach. But I won’t give up, ever, because she is the only one for me. I lost one battle, that doesn’t mean I lost the war.