Falling For The Biker: The Vice President's Girl Chapter 136

Wren

I hug my robe tighter as the night air bites at my skin. My eyes are fixed on the pool, the lights bouncing off the water.

A soft creak sounds as the doors slide open, and I don't have to look to know it's Ezra walking up to me.

"Hey," he mumbles from behind me, snuggling us into the large blanket he came out with. "Couldn't sleep again?"

I lean into his arms with a sigh. "Yeah. I...I just needed some air."

It's been five days after we said goodbye to Hayden and since then, I've had nightmares. Every night, I wake up soaked in sweat and just pad out here for some air.

Nightmares about that day at warehouse. Different scenes playing out, and somehow, I always see Hayden, bleeding...lifeless.

He always has my hair colour with Ezra's eye colour. God, he's handsome. Or maybe it's just my brain making him up.

I don't know which is better; seeing his face after he's been shot, or just being shot while he's still in the womb.

"Are you okay?" Ezra sways softly. "This has been very frequent."

"It'll pass."

"Would you need to see a therapist? I know it's about Hayden."

I swallow thickly. "I've...I've been having nightmares."

And it's taking its toll on me. Because of my lack of sleep, I feel dull in the morning. No energy to do anything.

I've been contemplating booking an appointment, but I don't think I'm ready.

He holds me a little tighter and breathes out deeply. "Do you want to talk about them? See if it'll help?"

His calmness suddenly irks me.

Why do I have to be the one suffering? Why do I have to be the one struggling with nightmares while he just sleeps peacefully?

I know I shouldn't blame him, or be upset, but it feels like I'm the one carrying the weight for both of us.

"How are you so calm about this?" I scoff. "You said we'd grieve together yet I'm the only one grieving."

He stiffens. "What?"

I try to move out of his embrace, out of the warmth of the blanket but he doesn't let me.

"Hey, hey," he whispers, arms wrapped firmly around me. "I'm not going to let you walk away, Wren. And I'm also not going to let you think that I'm not grieving too, that this doesn't hurt me too."

"Yet I'm the one who can't sleep. I'm the one out here by what? Two a.m? Staring into space, wishing I could have just one peaceful sleep."

"You've been struggling, I see that. I see you try to be happy, I see you get in and out of moods, Wren," he says, "but I also feel the loss. Maybe I don't express it like you do, because it won't help us. Imagine you're in a sour mood, and I'm in a sour mood too, we won't speak to each other."

My body goes lax in his arms because he's right. I see the logic behind it, and I hate it. But I appreciate it.

He sighs. "I'm trying to carry both of us. I'm trying to be present and to help you be present, sweetheart. I don't want both of us getting lost in the grief that we forget who we are, and what life means. We are grieving together, it's just that when one is down, the other is there to pick them up. And that's why I never let you stay out here alone, I always come out to you."

"I've been ruining your sleep," I rasp, throat tight. "I'm sorry."

"You're not ruining anything, sweetheart. I promise you that I'm right where I want to be."

My eyes sting, and I press my lips together as regret floods my chest. "I'm sorry for lashing out, I shouldn't have."

"I'm sorry I made it seem like I'm not grieving too." He gently spins me around in his arms, and presses a kiss to the top of my head.

I wrap my arms around him, listening to the thud of his heartbeat. It's what I've found some comfort in, knowing that he's alive, that his heart is still beating.

We stand in the hug for a long time, not saying anything, instead, swaying to a sound we can't hear. Or maybe it's the sound of our love, our fight through everything.

"Let's get you inside," he says. "Are you ready to go in?"

I manage a small nod and he picks me up, my legs wrapped around his waist as he takes us up the stairs to our room.

When we settle in the bed with my head on his chest, he hums softly. The vibration in his chest quickly lulls me to sleep.

And for the first time since the warehouse, I settle into a soundless, and peaceful sleep.

***

Soft kisses on my cheek and temples is what rouses me from sleep. My eyes flutter open to see Ezra smiling down at me.

"Hey birdie," he greets. "How're you feeling? You've slept for quite some time."

I groan and stretch, his words barely processing until my eyes land on the amount of sunlight streaming through the curtains.

My lips twist into a frown. "Jeez, why is it so bright?"

"Do you know the time?" He snorts.

"No, why?"

"It's almost two p.m."

I blink. Once.

Then, twice.

"Come again?"

"You slept for almost twelve hours, Wren."

I bolt up from the bed, sitting down with my lips parted and gaping like a fish. "Twe-twelve?!" I shriek. "Why didn't you wake me?"

"You don't have anywhere to be, plus you needed it."

"I could've died in my sleep!"

He chuckles. "No, you couldn't have."

"People die in their sleep, Ezra."

"I know that. But your body needed the rest. Your brain also needed to shut down for a bit. Don't you feel better?"

I huff. "That's not the point."

"Your eyebags are gone, your eyes look brighter. You look refreshed, and I love it."

I do feel better. Much better. I'm not groggy, or cranky. I don't feel drained, or exhuasted. I'm actually happier, and I appreciate him for letting me sleep in.

"Still," I pout. "You should've woken me. You said we'll be going to Beth's."

He nods. "I know. I've already packed up for us, so just go take a shower and meet me downstairs, okay? I've got lunch whipped up too."

My nose scrunch as I take a whiff of the air. Sure enough, I can smell the deliciousness in the air and my stomach rumbles in agreement.

I stare up at Ezra, and I feel so bad for last night. Yet, I feel so much love for this man, my heart feels like it'll explode.

"You have no idea–" I cup his jaw, tracing the scruff on his jaw—which definitely needs a trim, "–absolutely no idea how much I love you and how much you mean to me."

His eyes melt, the grays shining brighter. "You're perfect, and I love you."

I push up on my knees and kiss him. And I wish that he knows how much I love him, the same way I wish that I will keep showing him how much I love him.

Not only with my words. But with my actions.

God, I love this man. So freaking much!

He pulls away, trailing his heated stare down the length of my body. "Kiss me like that again, and I'd have to tell Beth to expect us tomorrow."

A loud laugh breaks from my lips and I just throw my hands around his neck.

"Pervert!"

He laughs and picks me up, dumping me in the bathroom. "Just for you, pretty girl. Now, shower."

"Yes sir." I salute, then pause as a thought filters into my brain. "Are we...are we still taking Hannah to see Mitch and her real family?"

He nods. "Yea. I was able to get a hold on Diane's address too. We will stop by before Mitch's."

Diane, Hannah' real mom.

My heart skips a beat, and I nod.

I don't want them to take Hannah from us, but if they have to...she's their family, and we can't stop it.

"We'll be alright." My tone is overly optimistic as I try to hang on to as much hope as possible.

Ezra gives me a lopsided grin, almost lazy.

"I love you," he says, "and we will be fine. We can get through anything, together."

It's not the first time he's said that. But it's the first time I believe him, entirely.

I don't want to lose another HJ.