Treasure Of Dragons, Royal Dragons Book 1 Chapter 80

Ria

I am sitting here trying to hold myself together with sheer determination. I am amongst the huge gathering of my kids, mates, the Escarras, and people from town. I can’t really focus on anything except the pretty box in front of me that holds the body of my daughter. 

I am conscious of my children around me, and the tears they are shedding. However, I'm having trouble trying to focus enough on them to offer them comfort, as my focus is so centered on that box right this second that nothing else really has room to exist. 

I think everyone is getting up from their chairs and walking to their cars. It’s over, whatever was said, and I couldn’t tell you one single word, is all done, and it’s time to leave. I can’t get up. I honestly can’t make myself get up and walk away from her. 

I want to run up there and gather her to me, and never let her go. I want to scream out to the universe that they can’t do this to me. Haven’t I endured enough already? When is it going to finally be over? When do I get my happy ending? Who singled me out to be subjected to so much shit? How do I fix this, how do I make her okay? Isn’t that my job? I’m her mother, I am supposed to kiss it better and hold her close when she has bad dreams. 

I can’t kiss this better. I can’t hold her and tell her the monsters aren’t real and that she’s safe. I failed as her mother, and I handed her over to the monsters who destroyed her. I knew they would. I have lived with those monsters my whole entire life, I know what they do, I know their teeth and claws, and still I couldn’t save my baby. 

I slightly register someone has sat down next to me, but I can’t turn away from her to see who it is. There’s this illogical thing circling my head that says if I look away I will miss her, and she’ll slip away from me out into the darkness all alone. 

I feel someone take my hand and lean against me. I can smell his scent, all of my kids smell different to my dragon, and that relays to me. Brand is next to me. My son is trying to comfort me. I am the one who is supposed to comfort my children, not the other way around. I swore I would never let it be the other way around. For years I tried to fix my mom and her depression, and I never could, that weight was unbelievably heavy for my little shoulders to bear. So, I swore my kids would never know what I struggled with. They would never know or see my pain. They would only feel love from me. 

“I know, Mom.” I hear him whisper to me as he lays his head on my shoulder.

Something in that statement, finally pulls my focus enough to look down at his face. There’s grief, so much grief. Yet, under that, there’s anger, more than I would have thought. So, how do I help my boy?

“What do you mean?” My voice is very low and croaky, my throat is dry from crying, and not very loud.

“I know about the agreement. They told me as soon as they found out. They asked me not to say anything, so I didn’t. I also know about you, Mom.” He emphasises what he’s talking about by picking up my arm and tracing his fingers on my golden cuff. 

I am not sure what to say, as I am unwilling to ever lie to my children. My solution has always been to place a huge cement wall between my relationship with my mates, and my relationship with my children. So, this is throwing me. 

“I have heard a couple of times when you guys were arguing. I know you were trying to be careful and not let us hear or know, but I can always hear so much, so I was able to hear what was said. They hurt you, are still hurting you, and we are all because they hurt you. I told Elizabeth about it, she wanted to rescue you, but I know we can’t, that this will never let us.”

I close my eyes and tears start running down my face, I turn and look at him and hold his face in my hands, “I want you to listen to me and hear what I say. You are not responsible for taking care of me baby. I am supposed to take care of you, as your mom that’s what I do. I love you so very much. Nothing will ever change that. I would burn the world to ash for you and your brothers and sisters. Nothing that ever happens to me is your fault or your responsibility. Don’t you ever think for one second that how you came to be changes how very much I love you.” 

He nodded even though I was still lightly holding his face, “I know you love us, Mom, and we love you. I just wish I could make everything better for you. I wanted to stop them from being taken away but I didn’t know what to do. I helped Elizabeth get a gun from the stash in Dad’s office. She said she would defend herself no matter what, so I helped her. Do you think she might hurt herself with it?” 

I could see the confusion and fear written on his face, “Out of all of them no, Elizabeth will use that gun to kill every mother fucker who tries to lay a hand on her. She is the one who will survive this. If anyone could survive out in the Canadian Wilderness it would be our Eli. Not to mention, she has a few extra abilities that will help her with that. I can feel her. I know she’s okay.”

I had to pause and just hang on to him for a moment. “Just remember Brand, know that someday when a woman comes along and you love her, remember to treat her like the treasure she is. You know growing up I heard fairy tales and all sorts of stuff about dragons. One of the main things was that they coveted treasure. They would guard it fiercely, and never let it go. They would take care of it and keep it close. So, someday son, remember she is your treasure. She will be the treasure of you and your dragon, and you will always treat her like the treasure she is. That’s how you make this better, by being better than we were, and going from here, knowing that this will never be repeated. You are loved so much, just hang on to that.” I kissed his head and just hugged him. 

It was time to confront my own dragons about the hell they had unleashed on my children.