Rebirth Of The Rejected Luna Chapter 200: The Guilt And Frustration.

Derek’s POV

Sighing, I left the place where the warriors were celebrating as we had just fought and won against rogues. I felt like I was going to explode. The emotions inside me were building up, getting stronger and stronger.

I was trapped in my own thoughts, reliving all the mistakes I'd made. My mind was racing, and I couldn't calm down. I felt like I was losing control like I was drowning in my own regrets. Memories of Tiana flooded my mind, reminding me of what I'd lost.

I thought about all the what-ifs. What if I'd never rejected her? What if I'd fought for her? Would things have turned out differently? The questions swirled in my head, driving me crazy.

I needed to find a way to let go of all this anger and guilt, or it was going to consume me. I needed to find a way to forgive myself, to move on from my mistakes. But it was hard to see a way forward when all I could think about was what I'd lost.

I tilted my head back, the cold wind stinging my face, and stared up at the sky. The moon sat high above. It was full and not a crescent, its silver light cascading over the world. It shone with that kind of eerie, almost mocking brilliance, as if it had all the answers as if it was up there watching me, waiting for me to crumble.

The cold didn’t matter. The chill on my skin was nothing compared to the ice in my veins, and the numbness in my heart.

I clenched my fists until my nails dug into my palms, the sharp pain almost grounding me. But it was nothing compared to the gnawing ache deep inside, a wound that had been left open and raw ever since Tiana had disappeared.

Tiana was gone. Those words kept repeating themselves in my head and nothing I did, no matter how hard I tried, could bring her back.

I couldn’t protect her— how could I even have protected her when it was not my pack.

But the world hadn’t stopped for my grief.

The rogues had made sure of that.

They had been coming more frequently than ever before. The attacks were growing bolder, and more calculated, each one more dangerous than the last. It seemed like they were too organized like someone was a mastermind behind them because of how flawless they usually were with their attacks. They slipped through our defenses with ease, as if they knew exactly where to strike, where we were vulnerable.

Like they were testing me. Testing us.

And as much as I tried to block it out, I could hear the whispers in the pack. The murmurings behind my back. The voices were full of disappointment, distrust, and frustration.

"You’re failing as the next Alpha."

"Your father built this pack from the ground up, and you’re letting it fall apart."

"You can’t even protect your people."

"You couldn’t even protect your mate."

The last one hit hardest.

That one stung more than the sharpest blade.

It had been whispered in dark corners, muttered in hushed tones when they thought I wasn’t listening. But I heard every single word.

And they were right.

I exhaled sharply, dragging my hands down my face in frustration. The harsh rasp of my breath matched the pounding of my skull, a constant throb that seemed to grow louder with every passing second. My head felt too heavy like it was being crushed under the weight of everything I couldn’t fix, everything I couldn’t change.

I was supposed to be the one they turned to. I was supposed to be the strong one, the leader who could hold everything together. I was supposed to protect this pack, guide them through the storm. But all I could feel was the suffocating pressure, from expectations.

I was Derek Aston, the son of the greatest Alpha this pack had ever known. But in this moment, I felt like nothing more than a broken man, drowning in my own failures.

I was supposed to lead.

I was supposed to win.

I felt like I was on the edge, barely holding on. The anger and self-loathing inside me were building up, making my muscles tremble with the need to do something. But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't escape the guilt and frustration that had been eating away at me.

The rogues just kept coming, relentless and merciless. They could smell our weakness from miles away, and they were feeding off it. The pack was watching me, waiting for me to fail. I could see the judgment in their eyes, the disappointment lurking beneath every glance.

My father's disappointment was the worst. He barely looked at me anymore, and when he did, all I saw was a cold, unfeeling gaze. I had spent my whole life trying to live up to his impossible standards, trying to be the kind of son he could be proud of. But no matter how hard I tried, I always fell short.

Now, his silence was crushing me. I felt like I was drowning in his disappointment. Maybe he saw what I saw - a man who had lost everything and had no idea how to fix it. I couldn't take it anymore. My hands gripped the wooden railing in front of me, my knuckles white with tension. My breathing was ragged.

I couldn’t even bring myself to look at him anymore.

I didn’t want to see the disappointment on his face. I didn’t want to feel like I had failed him once again.

But more than that, I didn’t want to be the failure everyone thought I was.

I needed to fix this.

I needed to pull myself together, to show them all that I wasn’t weak, that I wasn’t broken.

I was Derek fucking Aston

I was the next Alpha of this pack and no one was ever going to stop that from happening.