Her CEO Stalker and Her Second Chance Mate Chapter 140

Briar

It was Wednesday, and Misty’s words and the video she had sent me still sat with me, along with Lana’s and Byron’s advice. I was scrolling the internet and still hadn’t found what I was looking for. I had managed to schedule the appointment for tomorrow at the tattoo shop. I wanted something that memorialized what I had been through and also overcoming that. I hoped as before, the artist could help me with that since I was striking out. Lana came by as I was heading for the garage, my hands already wrapped and ready to work the bag. Music blasted into my earbud. She got out of her car as I pushed the heavy garage doors open. She just nodded, dropping her overnight bag next to her designated chair. I warmed up and stretched before I zeroed in on the punching bag and let my instincts take over. I felt every connection with the bag, each one, was a building release of my soul. The tension of my heart solidified, my decision made up. I knew where I stood. Nobody was going to play me for a fool. I would have to do one thing, face Jake’s letter. It was inevitable but tomorrow was for Lana and me and I would savor it, because who knew where I would stand after I read it. Right now, I was going to let my instincts have control. I zeroed in on the bag and let loose.

I was panting, my muscles ached in a way that felt so good that I sat with the feeling as I finally stepped back from the bag. That otherness inside me seemed to purr and vibrate contentedly within me. Was that the part of me that had lain suppressed and dormant for so long? I pulled my earbud out and looked to Lana. 

“What does it feel like to shift? How do you do it?” I asked.

Lana sighed before she responded.

“My wolf doesn’t like coming out anymore, he, he used to torture her if I did, I’m not the one to ask those questions of  but I’ll do my best. Before I used to just imagine my paws hitting the earth and she complied. Now, she refuses to come forth…most days. It’s why I’ve come over when the moon is full because the others can’t help but give way to the shift but my wolf she doesn’t want to and I don’t blame her, after what we went through; she took the brunt of the abuse. Some people with repressed wolves find it freeing to shift and others find it hard to give the control to the wolf and make it more painful for themselves.”

“It’s strange, I’m terrified and intrigued by the idea.” I said honestly.

“Your wolf is just beneath the surface, awake and waiting, she’s getting used to you just like you are getting used to her, she’s very dominant, she made me kinda nervous at first, I had to remind myself that she was still a part of you. In the end it’s like a symbiotic relationship with yourself, there will be times when you disagree but for the most part she will understand the way you think and listen to what you want. I’m excited to meet her.” Lana said with a smile.

I couldn’t help but smile back.

“Me too,” I let her know.

“Carter would be better at all of this, you know, the questions, he can feel her in a way I can’t.”

“What do you mean? The “soulmates” thing?”

“Yeah, he’s your second chance, Briar. The bond you have with him was becoming stronger, which was diminishing some of the power Creedon had over you. Being apart is going to weaken you both, and I don’t think that's a good idea right now.” Lana pointed out as I motioned that I was done, and she got up as I turned off the light.

“I’ll decide soon, it's a lot to sort through and part of me wants to say I accept it, but another part of me says I haven’t fully processed it all and I could wake up tomorrow wanting to run away from it all.” I admitted.

“I can understand that Briar, but at the end of the day it is who you are, running from that is asking yourself to give up on a part of yourself, not to mention you have enough problems you don’t need to add being hunted down by the council of werewolves for knowing about us.” 

“Theres a council of werewolves?”

“Yeah, they make sure we stay under the radar of humans and govern as our police of packs. Trust me you do not want their attention.”

I sighed and nodded stepping inside. I dragged out leftover boxes of pizza. I had gone to town earlier and talked to the manager of the pizza place about updating her website, she now wanted to hire me to fix that and market the brand so the tourists would see the place as a hot spot like the locals did. So I guess I was going to use my schooling for more than just Jake’s shop. I had been working on revamping the shop’s site to keep my mind off things. So I grabbed pizza for lunch and dinner while I was there.

I turned on the oven and arranged some slices on a rack, however Lana took a box and wandered into the living room. Cold pizza it was, not like it mattered. I followed her after flipping the stove off and throwing the slices back into the box. I grabbed a bottle of ranch before I followed her. I  plopped down on the couch next to her.

“Figure out what tattoo you want yet?”

“No, I’ll find out once I get there.”

Lana ate an entire cold pie by herself while I only forced down a few slices before I couldn’t bear the nausea anymore. She watched me with concern as I stood and walked what was left back to the kitchen. She followed me, crushing her box and putting it in the trash while I shoved mine in the fridge and shut the door. I pressed my forehead against the cool surface of the fridge. I was so tired of this, needing someone I wanted to trust so badly,  however something in me said I had already forgiven him, but the pain still lingered like a festering rot in my heart. I felt Lana’s eyes on me.

“Will this feeling ever stop?”

“What do you feel, Briar?” she asked, her voice pointed and serious.

“Creedon shredded my pride and handed me shame and brokenness that crippled me. I didn’t understand why in the depths of my dreams, he haunted me as something I desired, and something that horrified me to the point I wondered if life was worth even trying to live. He killed everything in me that wanted to live…Then came Carter, and slowly I resurfaced, not as I was but who I am now. I’m scared, Lana. This feeling is like a rotting hole inside me, and it will devour me if I surrender to it, or I could lay my heart at Carter’s feet, but is that even fair to him? To make him fix me all over again? If I die, will that set him free?”

“No, Briar,” Lana said, her voice hoarse. She, of anyone, I suppose, would understand my position.

“Anything happens to you, and it will break him; he will go mad. Carter chose you the day he met you, even before he realized you were half wolf. He's not fixing you, he’s allowing you to heal, he’s your safe place, like Mazzie is mine. She’s not my soulmate, but I couldn’t imagine a life without her. I can’t imagine the hurt you feel at being lied to all your life, and for his misguided attempts to guard you from the truth before he felt you were ready to hear it. He did it to allow you to have that space to heal. You matter to him in ways I don’t think you can comprehend yet. You matter to me, Brair. You are my only true friend. The only way through this, regardless of the betrayal you feel in your heart, is to find your way back to that safe harbor and start mending the holes created there.”

I just nodded.

“I’m gonna shower, then go to bed,” I stated and walked out of the kitchen without sparing her a glance. I turned the shower to scalding and stepped in when the steam was billowing. The numbness seeped into my bones, and my movements were robotic as I scrubbed myself clean. I paused in the hall, wrapped in a towel, and my feet moved towards the front door. My heartbeat kicked up as I placed my hand against the cool surface. I didn’t need to see him to know he was there, just on the other side. My hand reached for the knob, but I pulled back before it touched the cold metal. All I had to do was open the door, and he would be there. It didn’t matter what form he was in. Confusion coursed through me. What the fuck was I doing? I stepped back and made my way to my room, where Lana already lay, softly snoring. I dropped my towel, pulled on a T-shirt and underwear, and slipped into the covers. My mind raced, but my exhausted body finally found sleep, only to be riddled by nightmares where my screams were voiceless and beautiful ice blue eyes taunted me, before slicing through my soul. A bark rang through the night, pulling me from slumber. Carter. My racing heart eased, and my heavy eyes shut again. He was here, and I was safe.