Her CEO Stalker and Her Second Chance Mate Chapter 66

Briar

We had spent the afternoon in town, Carter showing me some new places and introducing me to some new people as we wandered the streets. Dinner at Martha and Henry’s was more of the same. I wouldn’t be asking them about the letters anytime soon. It would probably be a while before I got the nerve to try to piece the mystery that had become my life together. Sunday came, and I drove over to Carter’s early with a pan of fresh cinnamon rolls, which I chucked into his oven before he even woke up. Carter hadn’t changed anything about how he treated me since Friday night. Which was a relief, we’d either forget about it, or at least he would, and everything would go back to normal. My dreams had become a complex mix of toe-curling encounters with Carter and the brutal hell that Creedon’s looming shadow still held over me.

We sat out on his back deck as the sun rose, sipping coffee.

“Suppose we should talk about the other night,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck and glancing over at me.

So we were having a conversation, here I thought it was one night he’d forget about, and it would be water under the bridge.

“What about it?” I said, watching the sun rise and avoiding his gaze. 

“We were both drunk,” so this was what he thought it was. I closed my eyes and let out a breath, ready for him to tell me it was a meaningless mistake. I braced myself for the dejection I’d feel in the wake of that. I was already telling myself it was fine, I had expected as much. “I shouldn’t have taken liberties with you in that state, I feel like I took advantage of the situation,” that surprised me.

“As I recall, I’m a grown woman and consented, there is no taking advantage of that, not to mention it was technically me who initiated.”

“Briar, you were sleeping.”

“And you made sure you gave me every opportunity to back out, I knew what I was doing, Carter. So don’t worry your conscience about it,” I tried to reassure him. “No expectations,” I reminded him, though I had to admit, to myself at least, I’d been thinking about the way he touched me far more than was healthy, over the last two days.

“That may be true, but you're still vulnerable right now.”

“I may be pathetic, Carter, but I have a sound mind. In all honesty, if anything, it’s me taking advantage of you. Your comfort, kindness, and the safety I feel around you, have been the only thing keeping me sane since I got here.”

“You're anything but pathetic, Briar. To be honest, I’m in awe of you. You're stronger than you realize, you take everything in stride regardless of what you have been through. Then there’s just something extra about you, it’s special. I spend time with you because I like to, it’s not out of pity, or duty, or honor.” 

He ran his fingers through his hair debating on his words as I eyed him sitting back in my chair. “I haven’t said anything because I didn’t want to scare you off, that’s the last thing I want, but the truth is, I know you’re not looking for anything right now, but I like you, band I don’t want to jeopardize what we have, or your healing, by trying to make what’s between us anything more than you’re ready for.”

Did he just say what I thought he said? I ran over his words again in my head, ensuring I hadn’t misunderstood, while Carter watched me processing it all, waiting for a response. A part of me wanted to get up and walk away, it was too much, but then I thought back to the four miserable days I had spent without him and how he lit up the dark places my mind tried to consume me with. He deserved my honesty.

“The truth is Carter, I like you too, and that’s scary,” his shoulders relaxed a bit and now he stared off at the sunrise as it began lighting up the valley beneath us.

“I’m not pushing you into anything, I just ask that, if you feel the need for something intimate, you don’t go somewhere else. Not because I’m a jealous animal, but because I don’t trust anyone else to treat you properly, to be sensitive to what you’ve been through. OK, maybe the jealousy thing is an issue but that’s something I need to deal with, not you.”

“So what does that mean for us? Some sort of exclusive friends with occasional benefits, situation?” he winced at my words, he looked a bit hurt at the idea. “The thing is Carter, I have a lot to unpack, it goes beyond the trauma, I don’t know who I am right now, and that’s not fair to you.”

“I want to be there when you find yourself, when you are ready to face your demons, when you bake the first thing that comes out awful, I don’t care. If in the end, we are simply friends, it will have been worth it to me.” I thought about his words as I watched the sunrise bloom into a glow across the sky. Maybe I was just being selfish but I couldn’t see past the next few weeks without him. He had already ingrained himself so deep in me I couldn’t bear it. It was the best scenario I could think of for everything.

“OK,” I said, and Carter squeezed my free hand, it was still sticky with the remnants of our breakfast. He lifted it to his face as he bent and kissed my palm before righting himself. We sat in that contented silence long after the sun illuminated the sky, while his thumb ran gently over the top of my hand. I hoped I wouldn’t regret this later.