The Bad Boy's Dirty Little Secret BL Chapter 107: Just Like You

Kai’s P.O.V

Taking advantage of the stunned expression on his face, I pushed him back as I released his hand, watching him stumble backwards.

“And for the record,” I continued when I realized that Jonathan was too stunned to speak, “I’ll have you know that I haven’t ruined anything. This was bound to happen eventually, because you are a hypocrite for not only forgetting Matthias but also for turning against your own heart.”

The words just gushed out of my mouth, faster than I could think things through. I didn’t stop to wonder whether I was saying the right things. Maybe I wasn’t. But it didn’t matter to me, because right now, all that I wanted to do was hurt him, just as badly as he had hurt Night.

“Maybe you moved on so quickly because you are a selfish bastard who has never truly loved anyone in your life,” I spat, my temper getting the best of me.

“That’s enough,” Night’s mother started to say, but I drowned her out, my words spilling out in an angry rush.

“You forgot him so easily because you’re heart isn't capable of love or remorse. You’re nothing but a poltergeist that exists just to torment people, even your own son and wife.”

“Enough!” The words were spat out in a rage as Jonathan lifted his hand, balled into a fist, and before I knew it, his fist was connecting with my jaw with brutal force.

I couldn’t avoid it in time, and the force of his punch had me staggering back as I lost my balance and fell to the floor. It hurt more than the previous hit, but it was worth it. I knew I had gotten under Jonathan’s skin just as I had intended to. I had managed to break down his barriers, the hard-shell that he had erected all around him to keep everything inside.

My head spun, and I could barely register Night immediately running over to my aid, fussing over me and asking if I was okay just as his mother went over to Jonathan and tried to stop him from doing something rash.

From my peripheral view, I saw something cross across his face, an unreadable expression that I couldn’t really name. And just like that…I saw his composure crumble as a single tear slid down his cheek, unnoticed by anyone else amid the chaos.

“Dad! Enough of this!” Night said angrily, leaning over me protectively. “You’ve hurt us enough with your words and actions, but I won’t let you put your hands on Kai ever again! This ends now!”

But just as we expected him to get even angrier and throw me out of the house…hell, I wouldn’t even be surprised if, at this point, he called the cops and ad me arrested for trespassing or theft…but instead, after a few moments of tense silence, Jonathan Winters did the unexpected.

He fell to the floor on his hands and knees and broke down crying.

I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. The strong, proud man who had always held his head high no matter what…was on the floor, sobbing uncontrollably. Night’s eyes widened in shock, and Mrs. Winters’ hand went to her chest, as she watched the scene unfolding in front of her.

I sat up with Night’s help as Jonathan’s desperate cries filled the room, the sound heartbreaking even to my ears. I couldn’t still believe this proud man would be crumbling like this in front of me, and for a moment, I felt guilty for reopening old wounds that might have never healed.

Night clutched at my arm, clearly at a loss for words as we all watched Jonathan break down bit by slow bit, his defenses crumbling to leave behind a man who had suffered a great tragedy.

“Why did you have to bring up that name?” he sobbed in a voice that was so garbled I had to strain my ears just to understand what he was saying. “Why did you have to peel off old wounds that took decades for me to heal?”

To say that I hadn’t expected such a reaction from him was an understatement. Shock had me rooted to the spot, guilt making me unable to speak. I felt my throat close up as I watched him, my heart thundering inside my chest.

“I…I’m sorry.” Even Night glanced over at me in surprise as he heard me apologize. “I was… acting on my emotions. It was reckless of me to bring up your past trauma.”

Knowing what had happened to him from my father’s story, if I were in his shoes, I, too, would react the same way. It was uncalled for and out of character for me to do something like that to him.

I had been so angry at the time that I had forgotten the scars the incident had left on him. I wanted to hurt him, to break down his walls and stop him from hurting Night further…and it turns out that I did. But now, watching him break down in front of me, I realized that my choices had consequences…and they were irreversible.

In fact, what happened to him was so horrible that I could not even fully imagine myself to be in his shoes. Because if I were him, if I were to put myself in his situation, then that would mean that I would have to imagine Night no longer existed in my life, and that was something that I could never do, even if it was just hypothetical.

I truly could not bear to think about a world where he and I were apart, never to be brought back together in this life. It shattered something inside of me to even imagine that kind of pain.

I reached for Night’s arm, clutching it tightly like it was my only lifeline. For every sob that escaped Jonathan’s mouth, I found myself holding Night even tighter, my own guilt and fears immobilizing me in place.

“What’s going on?” Night whispered to me. “Why is he… breaking down like that?” His voice was filled with urgency and fear. To see his own father in pain…it was something he had never imagined even in his wildest dreams…none of us had.

“It’s not my story to tell,” I told him, my voice hoarse from the force of my emotions. “You should ask your father.”

He held my gaze for a few long moments before he took a deep breath and finally gathered the courage to turn to face his father. “Dad?” His voice came out small, vulnerable. “Why are you crying so desperately? What happened to you?”

Jonathan didn’t answer immediately, but he wasn’t sobbing now, though tears still flowed from his eyes freely, as if they were no longer under his control.

Then, with as much composure as he could manage, he looked up and met our eyes. “I lied to you,” he confessed, his voice cracking. “I lied to all of you. Kai was right; I had lived under a false pretense all this time.”

“Wh…what are you talking about?” Night asked, still confused, and I felt sorry for him, for all of them. Pain and grief truly were double-edged swords, and it saddened me that for their entire life, Night and his mother never truly got to know the man beneath the façade until it was almost too late.

“I was wrong,” Jonathan continued, his voice hoarse. “And you were right, Kai. You got me; you won. You reopened old wounds that I wanted to keep closed forever. You finally managed to break Jonathan Winters and the facade that I had built for nearly three decades.”

Guilt ate at my heart at the rawness of his words. I looked down at the ground, unable to meet his eyes. This hadn't been my intension…this may have been the result I had wanted, but at what cost?

“What do you mean? Please!” There was a desperate edge to Night’s voice now. “I don’t understand what is going on here! Dad! Please...”

“I’m gay, Night,” Jonathan admitted finally. “The man you all had thought to be homophobic for your entire life… your father… is just like you.”