The Bad Boy's Dirty Little Secret BL Chapter 13: We Kissed

Kai’s P.O.V

“You know you’re acting awfully suspicious, right?” Cole gave me a narrowed eyed look from over his coffee cup. “What happened to the bad boy of H University? The guy who dated left, right and centre without so much as caring if he was dating two women at the same time?”

“And what’s so suspicious about taking a break?” I scoffed, turning away from him to look outside at the college grounds. “We got two more years to figure our shit out before we need to start making a living. The real world isn’t all fun and games or keeping tabs on how many notches we have on our bedpost.”

“Ouch! What a low blow.” Cole rubbed a hand over his chest dramatically, making me roll my eyes. “Did your father give you a warning or something?”

“My sister just became a resident at Alberta Medicave,” I told him grumpily. “The whole family will be holding a huge feast this weekend, to celebrate her finally getting her dream job. While I’ll be reminded, once again, of just what I have to compete with. I get why my parents and relatives always praise my sister, like…she’s literally perfect, but do they always have to compare me to her? All the damn time? There’s no fucking competition between us!”

The lunch date with Gramma and Aunty had gone well, with Kia using me as a decoy to divert attention away from her relationship problems. However…how was I now supposed to face my hoard of relatives who think I’m a nuisance because I couldn’t get a job yet? How was I supposed to explain to them that Kia was three years older than me and it was normal for her to get the job since she already graduated? I think learning Rocket Science would be easier than explaining the ordeal to a bunch of Asian relatives…

“They’re right about one thing though…your sister is pretty perfect.” Cole averted my eyes while scratching his nape. “In every way possible…”

“Dick!” I threw a French fry at him.

“Hey! Don’t waste food!” He pouted. “Plus, you’re going to look after your father’s business anyways. Why are your family members giving you a hard time?”

“God know!” I rolled my eyes in exasperation. “It’s like they just want to bitch about me to everyone they know!”

I took a sip of my coffee, letting the hot liquid burn its way down my food pipe so as to help me temporarily forget about my problems and my upcoming dinner with my shitty relatives. My dad’s side of the family rarely cared about grades or my personal life and stuff, but being half-Asian, my mom’s side of the family was more than enough to make my life a living hell. It’s like they had made it their purpose in life to mess with everything I do.

If I don’t date anyone, I was a loser. If I dated many women, I had a lose character. If I got good grades, I was a show-off. If I wasn’t getting good grades, I wasn’t good enough.

People think society has unexpected standards for women, but they forget just how hypocritical the society really is and that the standards for men are just as shitty. We just don’t get to be vocal about it.

To top it all off, I couldn’t get Night out of my mind either.

It was just one kiss that got a little too out of hand. A spur of the moment thing…right? Then why was I running around campus, making sure to avoid all the places that I could possibly run into him? Why had I told the student body President that I’d be handling my work from outside for a short while? Why was I making excuses to avoid going back to the dorm today?

And why did thinking about him make me feel this weird kind of tingle all over my body…like I could still feel him touching me? Feel the way his fingers had glided over my skin so easily…how we’d just seemed to ‘fit’ together…

“Kai? Hey Kai!”

“Huh?” Startled, I looked up at Cole who was already done with his coffee and snacks and was now waiting for me with his backpack slung over his shoulders while waving his hand in front of my face.

“What’s wrong with you?” He frowned. “You’ve been all spaced out for the last five minutes! I kept calling you repeatedly!”

“S-sorry.” I rubbed at my temples. “I just have a headache. What time is it?”

“Six fifteen.” He took a look at his watch. “Let’s get back to the dorm already. I have a couple assignments to work on and I’m feeling tired.”

“Why don’t you go back first?” I got up from my seat reluctantly. “I’ll…buy dinner and then head back.”

“Are you avoiding Night for some reason?”

The question came out of nowhere and it definitely caught me off-guard enough that I found myself stumbling to find words.

“N-no.” I gave him a nervous smile. “Why would I do that?”

“You tell me.” He narrowed his eyes at me as he placed his hands on his hips. “You’ve been acting weird since last Friday. You suddenly decided to go home for the weekend without informing anyone, especially after what happened at the club. And then you barged into my room at six this morning and you haven’t left me alone since. Even Fluffy isn’t this clingy with me man!”

And Fluffy was his favorite pet puppy.

Did he mean I was being clingy like his dog or…?

“I mean…you’re clearly going to great lengths to avoid going back to your dorm and the only reason I could think of was that you’re avoiding Night.” Cole sighed, running a hand through his blonde hair. “Look…I’ve known you ages, Kai, and as far as I know, you’re not homophobic. So if…him being gay is bothering you, or if it’s because you got into a fight at the club because of him, then-”

“We kissed.”

“Say what now?”                                                                

It just…slipped out.

I hadn't wanted to tell him. I hadn't planned to. But keeping it all in made me feel like my head was about to burst open and I needed someone to talk to…someone who wouldn’t judge me for my actions and for the way I was feeling.

“Look…if you don’t want me to tell you, then I’ll-”

“Sit the fuck down.” Cole shoved me back into my seat with his hands on my shoulders before he took the seat in front of me. “When? Tell me what happened right from the start.”

“I can’t.” I sighed, rubbing at my temples once again. “It’s just…personal. I can’t…I don’t want to go into details.”

“Well, you want to tell me something at the very least, or you wouldn’t have brought up the kiss in the first place.” Cole’s voice sounded frustrated. “Was it after you guys returned to the dorm last Friday? Did he force you or something?”

“No.” I shook my head immediately. Because I had agreed to it. If I had wanted to…I could’ve pushed him away at any time. I could’ve said no and he would’ve listened. But I hadn't and I had been the one to give him my consent. But then I had let things escalate. And it hadn't just ended with a kiss.

“Kai?”

“You know I’m straight right? I’ve always liked girls…” I didn’t know who I was asking that question to. Him or myself?

“It doesn’t matter who you have been or who you might be, Kai.” Cole’s voice was unexpectedly soothing. “What matters is what you feel when you’re with him. Does he make you feel uncomfortable? Or…?”

Or? Or what?

All I knew was that…it wasn’t uncomfortable…just…strange.

I felt strange when Night kissed me. I felt strange when his hands were all over my body…strange to the point where I had forgotten that I had let him kiss me just as a way to comfort him, something that I would never do even with my best friends.

Now…the lines between us were blurry and I couldn’t even tell right from wrong anymore.

“Kai!”

Surprisingly, it wasn’t Cole’s voice that snapped me out of my stupor, but Tina’s.

“Huh?” I looked at her in confusion as she hurriedly made her way up the stairs to the cafeteria.

“Oh, thank goodness you’re still here!” She panted with her hands on her knees as she reached our bench and I instinctively patted the seat next to me.

“Do you need my help with something?” I asked her once she plopped down next to me and I motioned from the water bottle next to Cole on the other side of the table.

Tina nodded her head enthusiastically as Cole handed her a bottle of water after opening the lid for her and she nearly drowned the entire bottle in one go. She must have run all the way here from the Student Council room if she was this tired.

“Kai…can you please come with me for a few minutes?” She gave me a puppy eyed look after she was no longer panting. “I know you asked for a break, but we need to do a shoot for the official website soon, but first I need a shot of you for the contestant list page. I…er…lost the picture I had of you.”

“Huh?” I looked at my watch to find that it was almost seven in the evening. “Now? Can’t it wait till tomorrow? I’ll upload the file to the server myself.”

“Sorry, Kai. But it really needs to be now.” She batted her eyelashes while pouting her lips. “Pretty please? You know Zach will have my head if I don’t get my work done on time! We were entering the voting poll options and two of the contestants’ don’t have pictures yet. Yin is out getting the other contestant, but we really need the pictures today. Come na? Just one shot…”

“Can’t you just take a picture here and upload it?” I looked around the cafeteria to find it almost devoid of people. “It’s gonna be dinner time soon and the walls here a white.”

“But the lighting here isn’t that well.” She whined. “Just five minutes…please?”

“Fine.” I sighed, taking the opportunity because it gave me some more time to spend out of my dorm. “Let’s go.”

“Hey, Kai.” Cole caught my arm before I could leave. “Remember we still have to talk, okay? I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Okay.” I nodded. “See you.”

I didn’t know if telling Cole was a good idea or not, but I knew I could trust him. I still had to figure out what exactly was going on between me and Night…but at the very least, I no longer felt like the weight of the entire world was pressing down on my shoulders.