The Bad Boy's Dirty Little Secret BL Chapter 23: Hot and Cold

Kai’s P.O.V

“Sleep with me.” I repeated, running a hand through my hair in frustration.

“Please, for the love of god, do not tell me that you just thought sleeping with me once would get this out of your system and you’ll go back to being with as many women as you fucking want!” He snapped at me, finally losing his temper. “Hell, Kai! Get yourself together! Go to sleep before your drunken ass says something stupid again and I’m forced to punch you in that pretty face of yours!”

“I’m not saying this because I’m drunk!” I hissed. “What if I really want this?”

“Yeah? How about you tell me that tomorrow morning, when you’re sober and thinking clearly once again” He spoke through gritted teeth. “Oh wait…you wouldn’t even be here tomorrow morning!”

My god, this was really getting on my nerves!

What the fuck was even wrong with me? Why had I even followed Night here?

“I…I don’t know, Night!” I leaned back against the window; feeling drained all of a sudden. “I seriously don’t know what the fuck is wrong with me!”

I’ve had guy friends all my life, but none of them made me feel the way I am feeling right now. No one except Night.

I’ve never felt possessive over anyone in my life before, but only Night seems to bring out a side of me that even I didn’t know existed. I feel protective of him, ever since I learned about his ex. I keep getting angry whenever I see him with someone else.

I tried to avoid him as best as I could. Hoping that if I stayed away from him, stayed out of his life, then maybe it’ll help me keep my calm. But that obviously didn’t work because the second I saw him with another guy, I blew up.

“I haven’t figured any of this out yet and I don’t know how to stop this.” I muttered under my breath.

“Then how about instead of trying to figure out ways to ‘stop this’, you figure out the reason why you’re feeling this way?” Night folded his hands in front of his chest. “Try to understand the reason instead of finding a cure?”

“What do you mean?” I frowned, feeling an incoming headache. “How am I supposed to figure out a reason?”

“Only you know how to do that, Kai.” He sighed. “But how about you start by answering a few questions first?”

“Shoot.” It’s not like I had anything better to do.

It was two in the morning and it was raining cats and dogs outside. So, even if I wanted to go back to the dorm right now, spent my night alone with my thoughts, I couldn’t. I was stuck here with Night, no matter what I wanted to do.

“Did you really push Ray off me in the washroom because you thought I was being assaulted?”

Ray? That was the fucker’s name?

I grit my teeth. “Yes.”

Night shook his head on a scoff. “This isn’t going to work if you keep lying, Kai. If you don’t want to tell me about it, that’s fine. But at least don’t lie to yourself.”

“Just ask your damn questions!”

“Fine.” Night stood up to face me. “Tell me how you feel about me, then? Tell me why it’s only me you come after?”

I didn’t answer him. I couldn’t…

“And what about you?” I asked when he was about to turn away. “You’re only talking about my feelings, but you never spoke a word about yours.”

“How can I tell you my feelings when you aren’t even sure about yours?” He snapped. “What do you want, Kai? Some kind of weakness that you can exploit? Believe it or not, you’re sounding like my ex an awful lot right now!”

A sudden flash of anger rushed through my veins at the mention of the man that I had beaten up not long ago.

Without thinking, I walked over to Night, grabbing onto the collar of his T-shirt as I hauled him closer. “Did you just fucking compare me to that sexual predator?”

But Night’s sudden wince of pain threw me offguard. “What? What is it?”

“Nothing.” Night removed my hand from his shirt.

“Night!” I frowned, about to place my hand on his shoulder but he shifted out of my reach, causing me even more confusion.

That was until I remembered what had happened earlier…

Fuck! I’d but him.

Stepping towards him, I grabbed his shirt once more, ignoring his protests and moved it down his arm to find the angry red marks on his shoulders.

My teeth hadn't punctured his skin, but they had left bruises. And it looked bad.

“Where’s the first aid kit?” I asked him, inspecting the mark closely.

“I can take care of this mys-”

“How about you answer the goddamn question?”

Night grit his teeth, his eyes sparking fire as he looked into my eyes.

For a second, I didn’t think he’d tell me anything. But then he pointed to the cupboard on the opposite wall. “Bottom left shelf.”

I opened the cupboard and grabbed the kit before returning to Night. “Sit.”

“Stop ordering me around.”

“Stop being stubborn.” I snapped. “Sit!”

Night let out a huff as he plopped down on the bed, moving the shirt out of the way so I could put ointment on his wound.

I took the medicine and dabbed it on his skin slowly, trying to make sure I don’t put too much pressure onto his shoulders.

“Sorry.” I sighed. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

I hadn't thought my emotions would get out of hand like this, to the point of hurting him. What surprised me more was that I had forgotten about it until now. If I hadn't been so engrossed with sorting out my own feelings, then I would’ve noticed it sooner.

After I was done applying the medicine, I put the first aid box away and took a seat next to him on the bed.

“Want a cigarette?” He asked out of the blue.

“I didn’t know you smoked.” I raised my eyebrows at him.

“Only when I’m stressed out.” He reached for the dresser next to the bed and pulled out a pack of cigars and a lighter before offering one to me.

“I don’t smoke.” I shook my head. “You’re saying I’m stressing you out?”

“You think?” He raised his eyebrows before placing a cigar on his lips. “I’ll head to the balcony.”

“It’s raining outside.” I warned him. “You’ll catch a cold.”

“I really don’t get you, you know?” He sighed, removing the cigar from his lips. “You’re hot one second and cold the next. You’re agitated and then kind. You confuse the hell outta me.”

“Yeah? Well…welcome to my world.” I shook my head, looking down at my hands in my lap. “Night…”

“Hmm…” He hummed quietly, looking ahead instead of at me.

“I…I’m not…being homophobic. I’m not trying to put you down.” I told him quietly. “I don’t want you to think that I have some kind of vendetta against you or the community.”

“I know.” He shrugged. “You didn’t run off when I took you to a gay bar, so I figured that much out.”

“I just…I’m trying my best to figure out what I’m going through.”

“And I really hope you do, Kai.” Night turned to face me, his hazel eyes almost shining with a green hue. “For the both of us.”

“Can I ask something of you?” I asked a bit hesitantly. “I know it doesn’t make sense…but…”

“What do you want? Just tell me. I’ll try to do that, as long as it’s in my power to do so.”

“Can you…not get a boyfriend? Until…I’ve figured it out?”

Nights eyebrows shot up at my request. “Seriously?”

I knew this was way too much for me to ask of him, but trouble usually arose whenever I saw him with someone. So I nodded my head, letting him know that it wasn’t a joke.

“I am being dead serious here, Night.” I told him.

“Fine.” He shrugged. “But you have to do the same as well. Don’t go around chasing skirts in the meantime. If I don’t get to have fun, then you don’t either.”

“Deal.” I told him, holding out my hand. “One month.”

“One month?” He asked, trying to figure out what exactly I meant.

“That’s how much time I want you to give me.” I answered. “If I haven’t figured this out in a month, we go our separate ways.”

Night looked thoughtful, unsure at first, but then he nodded his head. “Deal.”

He placed his hand in mine, making a sudden zap of electricity shoot up my arm.

I didn’t know if he felt it as well or not, but if he did, he was doing a damn good job of hiding it.

One month. That’s how much time I had to figure my shit out. Or else…we part ways forever.