The Bad Boy's Dirty Little Secret BL Chapter 91: To Look Back

Kai’s P.O.V

My feet moved before I could think. I was the first to rush outside to see what was going on, my heart pounding in my chest as I hoped to all the saints that it wasn’t who I thought it was.

Vaguely, I heard the others follow suit behind me.

To my horror, it was indeed who I thought it was. And I could only watch, frozen in shock, as Kia and Night stepped out of the car then, just as the guards surrounded them. Night could hardly walk, and my heart ached to see Kia having to support his weight as they both walked past the guards and headed towards the stairs to the mansion.

Without thinking, I surged forward, helping him stand properly and taking some of his weight off of Kia. “What’s going on?” I hissed at her. But I wasn’t angry, just confused. “Why in the world did you bring him to this place?”

But as Kia looked down, biting down on her lips as she looked far too nervous to speak, it was Night who answered my question.

“Kai.” Night placed a weak hand on my arm, but his touch was firm and very, very warm. “I’m the one who asked her to bring me here. Don’t blame her for this.”

“What?” To say that I was stunned does not fully encapsulate the utter shock I felt at that revelation. I stopped in my tracks, trying to crane my neck to look at him, but because he had an arm draped over my shoulder and his body was leaning heavily on me, it was difficult.

But even through my peripheral vision, I could see the weary look on his face, the way he avoided looking at my eyes. “Why would you do something like this? You are in no state to fight with your father. You should be resting.”

From the corner of my eye, I saw him smile, but it did not quite reach his eyes. And there was something in that smile that made my heart thrash erratically in my chest. Something was very wrong…and I could feel the shift in the air almost immediately.

“Night?” I asked again, desperation creeping into my voice. “What’s going on?”

“I am…” he began, but trailed off to take a deep breath. “I am not here to fight my father, Kai. But I am here to surrender.”

I didn’t mean to do it—but as his words sent shockwaves through my whole body, I accidentally let go of him, as my hands and legs went numb, fear clutching my heart in its icy fingers, refusing to let go.

Kia was quick to assist him when he stumbled, and this time, as I faced him fully, my mind still trying to comprehend what the fuck was going on, I could see the weariness on his face…the look of pure defeat that I never wished to witness on him.

“W-what?” I felt my throat tighten, my mind unable to process what was happening, what he just said. I heard it wrong, right? It must have been a mistake, right?

But when I expected Night to crack a smile and that he was just joking, he only shook his head with a defeated sigh. “I know my father well, Kai. I know just how powerful he is, what he is capable of doing. When he sets his mind on something, he’s the type that will stop at nothing until he gets what he wants no matter what. We can’t continue to do this, Kai. I can’t let you get involved in all this mess.”

My heart broke with every word that he told me. Suddenly, it was getting harder to breathe. My chest felt constricted and my legs trembled slightly, as if they would give away at any moment, unable to carry the weight of my body.

“No.” I shook my head vigorously, not wanting to believe any of this. This couldn’t be happening…not after everything we have been through. NO!

“Kai…” Night’s voice was a whisper, but I shook my head, refusing to hear it.

“No, you don’t mean that,” I said, my voice cracking.

I still held on to the half-hope that he didn’t mean what he was saying, or that perhaps he would take it back, but he only shook his head again. “In that process of him doing whatever it takes to get what he wants, there are always casualties. I have seen it happen more than I can count.” He reached over to touch the side of my face, his thumb caressing my trembling lips.

“I don’t want you to be the casualty this time,” he told me, holding my gaze. “I love you too much to let you go through that kind of destruction. The best thing for us to do would be to throw the towel now, and at least then, your future won’t be ruined because of him. Because of me.”

I forced myself to move. I reached for his hand, squeezing it tightly, to let him feel the desperation that was running through my veins. “You promised me,” I said. “We made a promise to fight till the very end. Night, I’m not giving up on that. I’m not afraid of him, I’m not afraid of what he might do to me. As long as I have you, I don’t care about anything else, Night!”

But Night only smiled sadly and before I knew what was happening, his lips were on mine.

But unlike our other kisses, this one didn’t feel warm or inviting, it felt cold, distant, even though his lips were warm. It lasted for a few seconds at most, and I was too stunned and conflicted to even kiss him back. It didn’t feel like a kiss at all…it felt like the end, the end of something that I had held dear for so long…

When Night broke the kiss, there were tears in his eyes, and the sight of it hurt me so much it felt like my rib cage was being cracked open as my heart thrashed frantically in my chest, as it broke into a million pieces even before Night had spoken the words out loud.

And then, finally, Night opened his mouth to utter the words that I never thought I would hear him say after everything that we had been through, after all the promises we made.

“Let’s break up, Kai.”

I reached out instinctively, holding his hands in mine as my vision blurred, tears streaming down my cheeks uncontrollably. “I won’t accept this, Night, please…don’t do this to me, to us! I can’t…I won’t let you go!”

“But you can’t force me to stay against my will, either,” was all that Night said.

And the shock of it made me drop his hand suddenly. His voice sounded blank, lifeless and exhausted, but I knew him too well. I knew that this wasn’t the Night that I knew and loved. He wouldn’t give up so easily…he wouldn’t give up on us like this…

But then, he removed my hand from his and stepped back, moving away from Kia’s support.

I could only watch, rigid, as he went back to his family, his steps slow and measured. Jonathan smiled at his son and patted him on the back when he reached the top of the stairs.

“It’s good that you came to your senses at the right time.” He told Night, and then his eyes flickered over to me briefly. “This conversation is over, kid.”

I no longer had the strength to fight back, or think of a reply. As Kia came to stand by my side, her arms wrapping around my middle, I could only stare blankly at Night’s retreating back, my entire body feeling numb.

“I hope I never see you again, boy,” Jonathan spat out, and with that, my beloved Night was escorted into his house by his smug father, followed by his mother and Rosalie, and the door slammed shut behind them.

But not once did Night ever look back at me.