Omega Bound Chapter 31

Ayla

I went an entire day without seeing Thane. That thought probably wouldn't have been so unsettling if it wasn't post the best orgasm of my life. I could have dismissed it as alpha duties, raids, rogues etc., but Cyrus had no answer for me as to why I hadn't seen Thane all day. As his beta, he would know if there was something pack related keeping Thane away. There wasn't. Clearly the thing keeping Thane away is himself. Or me for that matter. I shouldn't have been so stupid. Trust was something I didn't have the luxury of throwing out. I knew better, but I did it anyway. Could I be overreacting? Possibly. But my heart hurts, nonetheless. I checked my phone and wouldn't you know. Nothing. Not even a check up on me text. He always sent those. It’s blaringly obvious he regrets the night of the run. I can't let my guard down again.

Now I sit on my couch. Much the same as every day. Except, today I find myself plotting. Plotting my escape from what? Heartbreak apparently. Looking at the facts, it’s obvious I can't up and leave. I have nowhere to go. No family left. I am totally alone and completely at the mercy of this pack. I have traded one cage for another. This one is a much better cage, don't get me wrong, but a cage regardless.

I am currently wearing holes in the carpet from my incessant passing and biting of my nails. I am beyond anxious. I pull out my phone, which now consists of three phone numbers, Thane, Eric, and Cyrus. I should probably get Monica's as well. I pull up a message and send it to Cyrus.

Me: Can you get me out of my room? I feel like I am suffocating here.

Cyrus: Have you asked Thane to take you somewhere? Show you around some more?

Me: No. I don't really want to see him right now.

Cyrus: Oh, so I am the lucky guy that can take you around now? I am glad you trust me Ayla.

Me: I don't trust you. I don't trust anyone now. I just need to get out and I need to get out now.

I can feel a ripple in my mental barrier. A slight nudge. Aramana is there, I can just barely feel her. If she was here right now, she would take us far away. I bet she could find somewhere we could start over. Or we could just be rogues. The two of us alone. We survived all my last 10 years. She could survive anything. We wouldn't even need a pack. A few days on our own and she would have all the wolf survival skills she would need, not to mention my other skills that come from my type of wolf. A type no one can find out about. The longer I stay here, the higher the likelihood of that happening.

*“Aramana I need you. I need you so badly right now”*. I push into my mind, desperate. *“Please don't leave me alone anymore. I can't do this.”* I can sense her, but I can't contact her. There is something in the way. I just don't know what.

I slide down the wall of my bedroom. Hands over my eyes, I feel broken. No, I don't feel it, I am. I am broken. Messed up beyond repair. Damaged goods that Thane doesn't want. Nobody wants. My own wolf doesn't even want me. I am utterly and completely helpless, alone. I can't do this anymore. I can't feel this way anymore.

Looking across the room into the full-length mirror, I should see myself, but I don't. I see the warden. The disgusting alphas that drugged me and had their way with me. *I see myself helplessly on the table, my traitorous omega body doing things I don't want it to do. I see myself dragged from my cage, beaten and broken. Spit upon and tormented.* They are in my thoughts. Behind my eye lids. I can't escape the monsters.

They own me.

They will have me forever.

Whether I am caged or not.

I will never be free.

A sob racks through my chest, but no tears fall from my eyes. They are close. Unfortunately, numbness takes over and I find myself staring, in a catatonic like state, reliving one nightmare after another. This is all my life will ever be.

I must have fallen asleep, or something is in my eyes. My eyes are blurry, my vision almost tunneled. I can hear someone talking faintly in the background of my mind. Two someone's. Their speech is garbled, muffled almost. I can't make out what they are saying, but I can hear their words are getting louder and my body is jostling around.

Shaking. Is someone shaking me?

Then I heard it. Someone is yelling. Their yells are loud and never-ending. Full of pain and desperation.

A feminine voice.

Then I hear my name clearly being called while I am shaken around.

Am I screaming? I can no longer talk, but apparently in less than 24 hours I can laugh and scream. Life has some cruel jokes.

The fates must be laughing at me.

They must have spent the last ten years laughing at me.

"Ayla, Ayla. It is me, Thane. Stop hurting yourself. Ayla STOP."

Thane is here, and he is trying to use an alpha bark on me. Why? I am not sure, unless it is to get me to stop screaming. Alpha barks don't work on me, but he wouldn't know that. Well, he knows now, I guess. Another secret that is trying to worm its way out of me.

"Ayla stop! You are hurting yourself. You need to calm down little wolf. Slow your breathing down and stop clawing your neck."

Clawing my neck? I don't feel anything.

Oh wait, there it is. Pain. Something I am all too familiar with.

Yes, apparently, I am hurting myself. Why? I don't know. I am trying to arouse and break through to the chaos around me, but it isn't working. The warden is here, in my mind. He is beating me. He has a chain around my neck.

The chain. It's here. I have to get it off. I have to GET IT OFF!

"Thane, she's getting worse. I need to sedate her. She is having a full-blown panic attack, probably hallucinating by the looks of her body. She's trying to get something off of her."

I know that voice. It is Eric, the healer. Yes, he can help me get it off.

"Do it. Give her whatever she needs. Hurry." I feel a small prick in my neck, then a rush of warmth. Darkness floods my vision and the voices stop.

*Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.*

*Lub dub. Lub dub. Lub dub.*

"When will she wake up Eric. What the hell happened back there? I went to check on her and she was screaming and clawing at her neck. Nothing I said was helping her at all. Nothing worked."

"Alpha Thane, she has severe PTSD which causes hallucinations. I am sure I don't have to explain any of that to you. She was probably deep into a hallucination. What we need to figure out was what triggered it. If we can identify her triggers, besides the obvious, we can help her avoid this in the future."

"What is the obvious trigger?"

"Men. Alpha shifters. Anything sexual in nature. Cages, medical injections etc."

"Well, we have spent some time together. Doing various...activities that should have triggered her, but they didn't. Not at the time anyway."

"Alpha, I am not judging, nor do I care. It appears she really trusts you. Some emotional trigger must have set her off. A flashback caused by something. It could have been anything."

"Cyrus is outside Eric. Please let him in."

"Sure thing alpha."

"What the hell happened Thane? I didn't tell you she needed to get out of her room for you to bring her to the damn hospital."

"She was having a panic attack. I am not sure what brought it on."

"I bet if you think hard enough Thane, you can probably figure it out."

"What the hell are you talking about Cyrus?"

"Nothing. Never mind Thane."

"What? IF you have something to say, say it."

"Oh, I got plenty to say. Now isn't the time though."

Are they arguing over me? I must be back in the clinic. I feel groggy and I am not able to open my eyes, but I can hear what is going on around me.

"How the hell are you going to tell her that someone is out there running around the town looking for her because she is his mate? You can't tell her like this. What if it sends her into another one of these episodes?" Cyrus continues arguing with Thane, but I am only focused on one part of his conversation…..

Did he say mate?