Omega Bound Chapter 96

Ayla

Answering Thane's questions was terrible. I have spent the last few hours sitting in front of our fireplace downstairs reliving memories. I can't believe my sister and I were so blind to the things going on, but how could we have known that mother's quick to be submissive demeanor and constant flinching were probably the result of our father and his behavior.

She would always tell us not to worry or that she scared easily. I can't remember the last time I met a jumpy shifter. She was most likely abused and hid the signs well. I wonder if the whole pack was in on my father's trafficking ring? I hope not, but I have no idea at this point. There are so many unanswered questions. The main one being the why.

I don't know if I can move on without knowing.

Thane has been a rock for me. The voices of self-doubt and whispers of my past are planting wrong thoughts that keep flaring up.

*You think Thane will love you after he gets his answers? Your father killed his sister. One look at your father and that is all Thane will see when he looks at you. He will leave you. You are broken and worthless. You ruined his entire life. You are the reason he has no family.*

It just goes on and on. I am trying to keep my emotions in check and the bond smothered. I don't want to alert him that I am drowning here. I don't want to add to his. I have felt sadness more than once in the bond since we had the picnic. Right now, he is working out in the gym, dealing with the past and emotions in a more effective way than I am.

I am crying now.

When did I start crying?

I thought I was broken when I couldn't cry. Now, I feel broken because I can't stop. My entire childhood was a lie. My father was hardly around. Now I know why. My mother acted like a queen ruling a kingdom, but it was all fake. To keep up appearances of the family line. To keep up the ruse that we were royalty, and we were to act like it, when deep down she was probably broken and suffering. The guards for our safety were probably more for control either of her or the pack. I thought I was in a secluded prison raised by strict parents. I was so wrong. The kitchen staff? Mary? Did they know?

I am up and pacing now.

I want to vomit.

Why won't the tears stop? Did my grandfather know? Was the seclusion a front for the ring? I just can't understand this.

*You’re worthless. So worthless that your own father put you into the ring. Every time they assaulted you and used you for their pleasure, he knew about it.*

The walls have cupboards.

I am in the kitchen.

How did I get into the kitchen?

Why am I still crying?

I feel my chest getting tight and heavy.

It feels like bricks are sitting on my chest.

The air is thick and not moving well.

Why can't I get air.

I need a fan.

I can't breathe.

Why can't I breathe?

I need Thane.

I need help.

My head bounces off something hard and I roll onto my side.

I am no longer upright, and I push myself up onto my palms, struggling to get my breathing under control.

Did I close the bond?

I look around, my vision is blurry from tears, and I see double a few times.

I can mind-link.

Can I mind-link?

I feel disoriented and exhausted.

I use my forearm to prop myself up on my hip and attempt to sit up more, but I am too weak and fall to my stomach again. I prop myself up on my forearms and use them to pull myself a little way out of the kitchen.

Tears are running down my face and hanging off my cheekbones.

My vision blackens at the corners.

I can't remember what I was doing.

I don't know where I am trying to go.

I let out a sob and hear the back door fly into something hard. Maybe the wall. Footsteps are barreling toward me.

I tilt my head up and see the warden. He is coming to pull me out of my cage again. I can't...I can't again. Never again.

"No." I rasp, trying to get myself up again. "No..no...get back..no..don't...don't hurt me."

"I would never hurt you Little Wolf." he says.

I can see his ugly, smug face sizing me up like I am his next meal. I try to turn myself around, but he has a hold of my shoulders. I clawed out at his face, but they just slid down his cheek, too weak to even break his skin.

Pathetic like he says I am.

"Breathe Little Wolf. Fates. Did you close the bond?"

Did I? How does he know about it? "No...no.." seems to be all I can say. He won't get his hands off me.

I kick out and he catches my foot. "Little Wolf, I won't hurt you. You need to breathe. Slow your breathing down and open the bond. Think of me." I don't want to think of him. I want to get away from him.

I feel arms sliding under me as I start to panic more. I try to push myself off his body, but it isn't working. "Ssshhhh Ayla, I got you now. It's Thane, baby. Please, its Thane. Stop scratching yourself. You're hurting yourself."

Am I?

I feel myself being lowered, but the warden stays. He has his tight hands wrapped around me, his fists the same ones that used me as a punching bag. He snarls and sneers at my attempts to get away.

"Little Wolf you have to hear me...listen to my voice. He isn't here. You are having a delusion, a panic attack. Open your eyes."

My eyes aren't closed.

I see him just fine.

The cold, damp dungeon surrounds me.

I can feel myself going under, drowning in this fear. I bring my arms up to shield my face, completely giving up when I see spots of white rippling over my forearms. I bring them back and realize it is white fur. My body shakes and the room spins. My vision clears and the fear I was drowning in is receding. Instead of staring at the face of a monster, I see my fated mate crouched down, peering into my eyes. He gives my head a quick shake.

"Thank you Aramana. I couldn't get through to her." Thane says and I hear, *"Open the bond Little Wolf."* I hear. I don't understand what just happened. I feel confused, but I focus on the bond threading within me. I feel it in my hand and give it a gentle tug, envisioning it open and free flowing.

*"Can you hear me?"*

*"I can. I don't understand. Why did we shift? I thought I saw...I thought..."*

*"I know what you thought, Ayla. You had a panic attack and hallucination. You must have closed the bond down and your wolf forced a shift out of desperation. Come, follow me,"* he says and shifts immediately, tearing his clothes and landing before me, shaking out his midnight fur. Ronan and Aramana lick each other and rub necks and foreheads before Ronan spins and heads out the back door with us following.