Omega Bound Chapter 47

Ayla

I have been up most of the night writing and rewriting my list on reconnecting vs not with my wolf. You would think it would be easier, a clear answer, but it is not. I realize I am trusting Thane more, and maybe he could keep Aramana a secret. I don't think Kian could though.

Rejecting a mate is rare, but it does happen. I feel this should be another angle I explore. I may feel differently if the bond was in place though. It would be unfair to reject him without feeling that bond. It could change my decision.

My eyes are getting heavy as I start to dose in bed. Now that Thane has returned, I am sleeping better. I know, at least I think I do, that he is in the room next door. I still haven't decided how I feel about the gossip surrounding him and Della. I could ask him about it, but it technically isn't my business. I feel like if he was sleeping with her while being with me, even if it wasn't labeled, I would still feel betrayed. If he could do that, there could be others. Kian could be right about the women at his feet. That would be a reason not to trust him, and I just have to know if I can or not. For real.

I bring the covers up to my shoulders, attempting to snuggle in and force myself to get some rest. I am finally close to getting my brain to shut off when I hear faint talking next door. I can tell Thane is mumbling, but I don't hear anything else. Maybe my shifter hearing is returning a little. I close my eyes again and snuggle back in. I don't need to eavesdrop on his phone conversation.

I close my eyes when I hear a very audible, distressed "NO" and I bolt up. Is Thane in trouble? I chew on my nails, listening a little when I hear more mumbling. I decided to get out of bed and place my ear against our adjoining door. He is very clearly rambling and distressed. His earthy pine scent has a bitter smell to it. Maybe my shifter senses are finally heightening. I don't know if I have been able to smell him this clearly before. I can feel Aramana pushing in my mind. Maybe she is reacting to his distress. I decided to slowly turn the handle on the door. I know he said his was kept unlocked. It is time to find out.

The door opens slowly, a faint creak, but Thane doesn't arouse. No, he is in the throes of a nightmare. He is shaking his head side to side rambling and breathing hard.

"No, Mom please don't do this. Put the gun down. No, we will be okay. It isn't your fault." Thane's ramblings are heartbreaking and all too familiar. He must be dreaming about his sister, but the gun story has me confused. There must be more to his backstory than I am aware of. Looks like we are both good at keeping secrets from each other.

I quickly hurried over to his bed to climb on top of it. Shaking him while he is rambling isn't working. I can barely get on this bed; it is so tall. His room is dark, minus the moonlight coming through the window. I hope he can see me clearly when I get him awake before he pummels me to death.

I take his head in both of my hands, cupping his cheeks. He has a single tear rolling down his face and I instantly feel rage like I have never felt before.

This Alpha.

This protector.

This rescuer, broken.

Someone broke him. The same people that broke me. I want him now more than ever to get his revenge. Not for me, but for his sister. My friend. I decide right here, right now, to help him in any way possible. She deserves it. He deserves it. His parents deserve it. It is bigger than me.

"Dad, oh fates...fuck. Why" he yells out and bolts his eyes open, jerking awake like fell off a cliff, while I am gently rubbing circles on his chest and cupping a cheek. He looks so scared and broken.

"Ayla, what......what are you doing here. Shit, I am sorry. Did I wake you? Are you okay?" I nod "yes" to him while still rubbing his chest.

He places his large, calloused hand over mine on top of his chest and leans into my touch on his cheek, closing his saddened green eyes.

"It was just a nightmare Little Wolf. I will be okay. You should get some rest. Tomorrow is a bad day for me, and the nightmares are always worse at this time of the year. Thank you for waking me up. I am sorry I disturbed you. I mean it. I want you to rest." He looks wide awake now, but I feel like I am close to passing out. My eyes are heavy and tired. The thought of getting up and leaving him to another nightmare seems like a wrong thing to do.

Horrible.

He has helped me so much; I can help him.

I scoot down in the bed and place my head on his chest. If it is unwanted, he can make a more serious attempt at getting me back to my room. Instead, he drops his hand to my hair and starts playing with the ends of it. I snuggle tight and close. I push back all attempts my brain makes to worry about Kian. We aren't mated, and Thane needs me. I will worry about it tomorrow. Right now, we just need to rest.

He clears his throat, almost a low hum as he continues playing with my hair. I must say, I like it a lot. It feels good. I didn't realize something soft and simple could feel so nice.

I close my eyes just as he starts talking again. "My mother and father couldn't cope after my sister was murdered. They both became really depressed. My father gave up his duties. My mother and father died in a murder suicide. They blamed themselves for everything. Who did what and who pulled the trigger isn't important. The fact remains; I have more in common with you than you realize Ayla.

I look up into his eyes to see him wiping away another tear. He looks at his hand like the act of crying alone is treacherous. Something he clearly doesn't allow himself to do. I too understand that. I don't want him to lose his emotions the way I lost mine. I want him to feel. No matter what it is. I realize that blocking off my emotions was my way of stopping myself from feeling.

Probably makes me a coward.

I trace the path the tear made, and I so badly want to lean up and kiss him. To give himself something to feel good about, but I can't. I don't have my answers about Della, the whole Kian thing is a shit storm brewing with me in Thane's bed, and I don't want to take advantage of his emotional state. Instead, I give him a kiss on the cheek and scoot back down, curling myself into him.

Thane wraps one arm under my head as he tucks me tight against his side, rolling so his chin is on top of my head and his arms are wrapped around my body. I am in a Thane cocoon. Snuggled deep and warm. His arms are heavy and strong. I am protected and shielded from the world. This place here, the safest in the world.

He throws one of his legs over my hip and pulls me impossibly deeper into him. One of his hands goes down to the lower part of my back, and it sprawls out on my smooth skin that is exposed from my tank top that rode up and the heat of his hand is grounding. I want to be closer. I want to meld him. I want him inside of me. I want him all around me. I cannot get enough of him. At this point, it isn't even arousal. It isn't about how attractive he is or how nice he is. I have this overwhelming urge to sink into him. I can't explain it. I need him closer, but he can't get any closer than he is.

I held him tight. Squeezing as hard as I can. He is my lifeline right now. I may succumb to death if I don't keep breathing him in. He is all that matters right now. He squeezes me back harder, wrapping his thick arms impossibly tighter around me. Needing to feel me as much as I feel him.

I feel a soft kiss on top of my head, and I know that tonight, something has shifted. We have recognized ourselves in each other. This bond, the experiences and trauma that caused it, draws us together. Two shifters broken.

Needing to be whole.

Belonging to a club nobody wants to be in.