The Delta's Daughter Chapter 57

LAMIA

I awoke with a start to find everyone standing over me, talking in hushed whispers. And when I say everyone, I mean everyone; my mother, father, the King and Queen, the royal Beta and Aunt Olivia, Mike and Kellen.

The immediate feeling of loss filled my heart and I clutched my chest at the tight pull as all my emotions hit me at once, the vision, dream or whatever you call it, far from my mind as I take in the crowd. I look at each of them and only then realize I am in my old room back at the palace.

“Dear Goddess Lamia! You gave us quite the scare!” My mother’s comforting voice floats through the sea of faces. My gaze lands on her beautiful blue orbs full of concern and worry. I hold my arms out towards her and her tiny frame flies into my embrace.

“It hurts so bad momma” I hiccup through the whimpers I can’t control. “It… it hur…hurts so b…bad”. I let everything out as I soaked her shoulder with my weeping and blubbering.

I know baby, I know. I’m here for you. You just let it all out, let it all out. We are not going anywhere. You are so strong my baby girl, so strong.” She whispers while stroking my hair and shedding her own cluster of tears.

We stayed like that for I don’t know how long. Eventually, I break away from her, holding her arms. My swollen eyes meet her puffy and equally swollen eyes. She offers me a small smile that does not reach her eyes, it is meant to be comforting, but nothing can offer me comfort in this moment. It’s then that I notice the room is considerably less crowded just my mother still perched next to me and my father waiting at the end of the bed for his turn.

“Daddy”, I choked out, reaching for him.

“My strong, strong girl, I’m here.” He says as he scoots into my arms and tightly embraces me. My father, my rock, my strength, my idol, the person I aspire to be every day.

“I don’t… I don’t know how to move on from this… I don’t know how I’m meant to feel. I feel empty Daddy.” I sighed into his strong and secure chest.

“One day at a time. That’s how you deal with it. One day at a time and each day you become stronger.” He replies with a gravelly voice that sounds like it is ready to break.

I pull back from him and look into his Emerald green eyes, the same ones I see when I stare at a reflection of myself. “How long was I out for?” I ask.

“Four days this time.” He replied, pursing his lips and running a hand through his pitch black hair.

“When is the next full moon?” I asked my next question.

“In three days” my mother chimes in, “Why?” She asks me, curiously tilting her head.

“Where is…” A lump forms in my throat and I can hardly say his name without bawling again. So I cock my head, narrow my eyes and swallow the lump down with an audible gulp. “Where is Zane’s body?” The fast becoming familiar burn in my chest rearing up as I think of him, his handsome face flashing before my eyes, and memories of us in this very bed squeeze my heart strings.

“He was delivered to the Golden Circle pack yesterday. The funeral…” I cut him off.

“No. He will be buried on the next full moon, in 3 days. I have to go back to Golden Circle…” A panic starts to take over my nerves as I attempt to get out of bed.

“Lamia, no one expects you to be there after everything that has happened, you need rest, you just lost a mate” My mother insisted calmly while trying to hold me in place by my shoulders.

I started getting angry, my nostrils flaring and my gaze heated. “NO! This is not my home anymore. I should have been taken back to our pack, my pack!” I declared. “I need to go home!” Now I just sound like I am pleading and whinny.

“Lamia, there is much to discuss and I don’t think you are ready or even in the right state of mind to venture there yet.” My dad exhales and scrubs a hand over his face in frustration and ruffling his black hair.

“Do not attempt to assume what my state of mind is! Or what I can and cannot handle!” I curl my fists in agitation, the tips of my claws poking through.

“That’s not what your father is saying, Lamia! We are concerned about your health. After everything you have gone through and then losing your mate after all you have endured, we just want to look out for you. You are our daughter, we love you!”

I lower my head in shame for speaking to my parents like that. I know they care, they have always supported me, always had my best interests at heart. And I know right now they aren’t sure how to handle me or what next step to take with me and I am finding it hard to get a handle on myself.

I get up and pace, exhaling loudly with every second breath. I grip my hair with my hands, while my parents watch my incisive and quick pacing.

‘Calm yourself human, they don’t understand’ my wolf whispers from the depths of my mind. I nod at her. They don’t know they can’t know.

“Fine, I will leave for Golden Circle in the morning, no later.” They nodded, maybe not in approval but understanding.

Understanding that my mind is made up and nothing they say can change that.

I wipe my face of any emotion and stop pacing, standing up straighter. I can do this, I can do this, I repeat to myself. I push every feeling I have deep down into the deepest part of my mind and lock it in a metaphorical box.

“I need to speak with everyone. I can’t stay here.” I tell the truth. Just then, a grumbling sound fills the moment’s silence. “And I need food. I don’t think I have eaten in months.” I chuckled, trying to make light of the situation. But the pained look on both my parents’ faces does not escape me.

*****

My mother had the main kitchen prepare food and an Omega had just left after delivering the food. My father had linked the family to come back to our Apartment. So here we all were, gathered in our small dining room, made smaller by the towering men.

Everyone had grabbed food, but nobody was eating except for me. I was hungry, almost starved, the food tasted like ash. Bland and unsatisfying, I was only eating because my body required it. I polished off my plate and leant back on the chair, crossing my arms as my eyes wandered over the gathered wolves. Nobody wanted to be the first to say anything. They were treading lightly and skirting around the elephant, or I should say elephants, in the room.

I scrubbed my hands over my face, making sure my emotions were in check, my face stoic and determination glinted in my eyes, before I cleared my throat.

“I want you all to know everything.” I began “Some details are too hard to voice but I want you all to know…”

“Lamia, you don’t need to do this” Kellen said.

I looked at him and saw a flash of pity in his eyes but he hid it quickly, gulping down his thoughts. I gave him a small smirk, he forgets I know exactly what he is feeling and cannot hide anything from me, just like I cannot hide things from him.

“No Kellen. Everyone needs to know. There are things I have to tell you. Tell you all” I explained, letting my eyes wander across everyone present.

I stood up and began pacing again, crossing my arms over my chest in a protective manner.

“I ask you all to let me speak, some things I tell you will be hard to hear, a tough pill to swallow. But I ask that you let me tell my story or I fear I may not be able to get it all out.” A collective nod is given and I take a deep breath.

“First I want to thank you all for coming for me, and for standing by me. I love you all so much and could never repay you for everything. It was a living hell, one that I can never forget but wish I could.

The day I was taken was the day I found out I was with pup. Zane and I had taken a run and when I was about to tell him, that is when we were ambushed. I lost the baby while in captivity. I wasn’t that far along, maybe a month and half, 2months, according to my wolf. What they did to me (and I look at Mike, knowing he saw what they had done to me), what they did to me went against everything this kingdom stands for.

I was repeatedly raped and marked(I heard the collective gasps of horror from the women in the room and low angry growls of the men) I was whipped, starved and injected with poison every day in addition to the barbaric use of silver spiked cuffs. All in an attempt to make me submit, they thought, by killing my mate, Silas would be able to claim me.

From what I understood, Silas was not working alone, his association with the bear shifters was too comfortable, them working together. He had his own agenda but there was someone more powerful than him or his Beta, his son Oliver, who I think was running the show. Kira couldn’t keep her mouth shut sometimes, but she also didn’t know everything. I only assume this from the way the bear shifters talked when they came into my cell.”

I shook my head at the thought of Kira. I was still mad with myself for not seeing through her façade earlier. She had completely blindsided me with her betrayal.

“I will be leaving tomorrow to go back home to the Golden Circle pack, to bury my Alpha and take care of my pack. As much as I love this place and all of you, this is not my home anymore. I don’t belong here. I am not sure where I belong, but I do know this place, the royal pack, is no longer my home. It hasn’t been my home since I turned 18.”

I didn’t look anyone in the eye as I spoke. Instead, I turned to face the window, looking out over the dense forest, the evergreens full and oak trees thinning as the golden and rust-colored leaves fell from the branches as fall was coming to an end and winter was creeping in.

“Goddess knows I love you all so, so much. You are my family, my life, my rock, each and every one of you. But I don’t know who I am anymore. I don’t know who I’m meant to be. You have always told me there is a place for me here, but the truth is; there is not. My place is somewhere else. Is it at Golden Circle? I don’t know, but what I do know is I need to find myself. I can’t do that here.”

I watched the sun that was beginning to lower behind the hills in the far off distance, the urge to run the pack lands strong. I turned to face my audience, seeing the look of sadness mirrored in each of their eyes, but stronger than that, I could see the acceptance, love and pride they all held for me.

“Lamia, you are an Alpha now, to three packs. We didn’t expect you to stay, but we didn’t expect you to be leaving so soon.” Uncle Michael spoke.

I tilted my head and pursed my lips “Three packs?”

“Yes”. The king confirmed “You killed Alpha Richards Beta. He was next in line, Kira’s father was beheaded, when they attacked the palace, so when you… when you…”

“When I massacred everyone”, I finished for him. Drifting back to the moment, I lost control in my bid to get to Silas, the details a little fuzzy as I had been driven by a blind fury. But I remembered picking up my swords and the power I felt when holding them and then recalling the third declaration from Ashe.

Your weapons are blessed by the spirit of Inanna before she ascended as a wolf to serve the three goddesses. In your weapons you will find ancient magic. Keep them close.

“Three packs” I whispered.

“Lamia, a couple of hours before you woke, something happened. Your body burned up and began to smolder. Your eyes held a fire and burned an iridescent green, like they did on the battle field. Can you explain that?” Kellen tentatively asked. “I thought you were going to die, I felt it all, I thought I was feeling you die, Lamia” He choked the latter out.

I wanted to throw my arms around Kellen and comfort him. I could feel the worry and hurt through the bond, but I knew if I did I would break down and the flood gates would open again. So I didn’t. Instead, I looked down and shuffled my feet, re-crossing my arms in a protective manner, like I was holding everything so I wouldn’t lose my shit and composure. I was trying to stay brave and had been doing a good job of it so far, masking everything that threatened to consume me.

“Ahh yes, I can explain that. I have something else to tell you all.” And so I began to recite verbatim the tale Ashe told me in my lucid state of unconsciousness. I left out a few minor details, like the full moon and my chance at finding another mate. Not because I didn’t want them to know, but because I wasn’t sure about them, I was skeptical and to me, seeing is believing. I didn't want to offer a falsehood of hope.

A hope I can’t rely on myself. Because no matter what Ashe said, I don’t think I would, or even could, ever move on from Zane.

Again my chest constricts and heart pounds, leaving me short of breath at the mere thought of my mate and his name, even though it wasn’t spoken out loud.

“Hunji is still at MacTire, you will need to go back there and establish the pack and territory with the high council, to make sure everything is documented and recorded. Also, you will have to figure out what you will do with the Pacific pack.” The King relayed.

“I know uncle,” I replied, feigning a yawn. “A wise man told me one day at a time. And first I will be heading back to Golden Circle to bury our Alpha. Then I will decide my next step.” I yawned again, this time it was real. “For now I would like to go lay down. Please excuse me.” I said, making my excuse and heading towards my old room.

*Do you want me to stay with you?* Kellen reached out through our link

*No I want to be alone, but thank you* I replied before closing my mind off to him.

I didn’t need to pack a bag, as everything I owned had already been moved to Golden Circle before. So I threw myself on the bed and buried my head into the pillow as I let the stress of the last few hours and the hollowness override me and sobbed into the pillow until I had no tears left and fell back into the abyss of a dreamless sleep.

*****

Dawn's first light came too quickly, I dragged my ass out of the comfort of my bed, my heart weighing heavy as I clumsily entered the bathroom to shower. The hot water felt good and as refreshing as it could, taking into consideration my current state. Stepping out I wrapped myself in an oversized towel and squeezed water from my hair, then towel drying it.

I stood in front the fogged mirror in trepidation. I hadn’t seen myself in what felt like forever and I was scared to look, scared at what I would find.

I wiped the condensation from the looking glass, and gasped as the first thing that caught my eye was my hair. Almost half of my hair was now garnished with black streaks. I let my breath out slowly and then moved my hair free from my shoulders, it was long, almost down to my waist now, and I leaned forward, tilting my head. My eyes had dark circles, and my face looked older, matured.

I knew I had to look at my neck, but I was jittery and afraid of what I would see. I raised my fingers and brushed them over Zane’s now fading mating mark. What was once a beautiful dark tribal wolf that resembled Dacia, Zane’s wolf, was now a light faded pink. I swallowed the lump in my throat that felt like sand paper. My fingers lingered as I felt the burn and emptiness I was becoming accustomed to. A reminder of what I had lost and would never have again. Guilt rearing its ugly head again and tightening around my heart had my hand pressing against my chest.

I dropped the towel from around me and began inspecting my body. I was thin, too thin and malnourished. Faded scars littered my body, another reminder of my captivity. I wondered if they would ever completely fade. I hoped they would. Or would they stay as a constant reminder like the claw marks on my thigh and arm.

It made me sick to look at myself. Who could ever love this, I thought.

‘We will learn to love ourselves again first’ I smiled at Inanna’s thought.

‘One day at a time’, I repeated my father’s words to her.

‘One day at a time’ she repeated before going quiet.

Goddess, I loved my wolf and the connection we had. I was grateful to her and loved her, the only part about me I loved at the moment.

I stepped outside the palace door and took in a huge whiff of the crisp and hazy fall air. The season was ending and soon winter would be upon us. I briefly wondered what winter in MacTire was like, nestled deep into the mountain valleys. I had tied my hair up into a loose bun and wore a pair of black leggings and an oversized maroon sweatshirt sporting the Academy logo, I had snagged it from Mike when we were there one night and never returned it. It still held his scent faintly and it was comforting.

A black truck pulled up in front of me and the passenger window rolled down.

“Did you think we were gonna let you go by yourself?” Mike chuckled, his hazel eyes dancing with mischief. Goddess, I have missed him.

“Well, I was planning on running there. To be honest, I’m sure I could make it in less time than driving.” I retorted.

“Get in the car, Lamia” Kellen commanded.

I smirked and huffed like I was irritated but jumped into the back seat quickly. I was actually happy they would be coming with me; I wasn’t ready to tackle this on my own yet.

“Thought you might want this back” Mike said, turning in his seat dangling my bear claw necklace between his fingers.

“Holy shit you found it! I thought it was gone forever!” I exclaimed excitedly, my eyes lighting up at my precious possession as I snatched it from him and immediately returned it to its rightful place around my neck. I wasn’t even sure when or at what point I had lost it and thought it had been taken and discarded. I leaned forward, pressing my lips to his cheek and let them linger for a few seconds longer than necessary.

It was going to be a long drive, 5-6 hours if I remembered, so I got comfy as we set off towards my home.

We talked for hours, the boys filling me in on details I had missed out on, filling in the blanks about Kira and how they found me. Half way through the drive, Mike cleared his throat. “So you and Kellen are related? Exactly how closely related are your blood lines?”

“Fuck off Mike”, Kellen scowled with a low growl.

“Hey just asking, I mean you must be somewhat close if you needed to reject each other, I mean knowing that you are related and you guys did the nasty in between the sheets…” I cut him off by slapping the back of his head.

“Seriously dude, too soon. Besides, we are not that closely related, in fact, a whole gene away. But it does make sense why we have that sibling connection and share a great, great, whatever grandmother.” I retorted.

“Before we get to Golden Circle, there are a few things I should fill you in on… I have already contacted Beta Brett to expect us and to let him know when you will be holding the funeral. Four warriors died from the pack during the battle, luckily. They are all un-mated. However, when the pack was attacked the day you were kidnapped, Luna Juniper was targeted and killed.” Kellen told me. I could sense the hesitation in his voice, he was unsure of telling me. Knowing no time was a good time to bring it up.

“Then we will hold a vigil for her and any other fallen warriors that died that day. The four warriors who fought in the battle will be honored and buried under the full moon the same as their Alpha.” I said while my thoughts drifted off and my gaze fell back on the passing landscape.

I wasn’t aware of Luna Junipers passing and wondered who was taking care of Halley. She was alone now, no family, the last of the Noirs. I knew Brett and Cyrus would be there for her like the big protective brothers over their best friends little sister, but that thought did not bring me comfort. She had suffered a greater loss because of me.

During the drive, I was filled in on Travis and the Luna from the pacific pack (Kira’s stepmother) who had also been held captive with me. Instead of going home to his pack, Travis was actually taken to Golden Circle by his cousin Chris, who was one of the top Warriors there. And was part of the track and rescue crews.