The Delta's Daughter Chapter 58

LAMIA

We pulled into the packlands of Golden Circle well after dark. As we crossed the border, an invigorating and charging energy raced through me and a pack link formed. I was now connected to all of the pack. A difference from before as I had not had my Luna ceremony and been initiated into the pack. Now, I was the rightful Alpha and the link snapped into place.

The car stopped in front of the large packhouse. Outside stood Brett, Cyrus and Halley. Kellen and Mike exited the car with Mike opening the back door and helping out. I pulled at my rumpled clothes and looked up at the large structure. I was home, but it didn’t feel like home. Zane was not there.

Kellen and Mike exchanged pleasantries, whereas I remained silent. I looked at Halley who had tears in her eyes. I cautiously walked towards her first, not knowing how I would be received by her. After all, her Mother and Brother were dead because of me. There’s that guilt again. Survivor’s guilt is what Kellen called it.

I offered her a small smile, and she surprised me by suddenly running and throwing her small arms around me, squeezing as tightly as she could.

“Halley…” I whispered to her, hugging her back, my mouth dry “I’m so sorry...”

“Me too, Lamia, but you are here now and I am so happy you are home.” She cried against me. I stroked her shoulder-length black hair, the same way my mother did to comfort me, hoping to offer some kind of solace. We stayed like that for a few moments before we both pulled away and I greeted Brett and Cyrus.

“Alpha” they both acknowledged me.

“Please come, we have accommodations for the prince and Beta, and I am sure you want to rest.” Brett said.

We followed him and he told us Kellen and Mike would be staying on the Alpha floor. “I assumed you would be staying in your room, the Alpha suite,” Brett said.

“I guess so,” I replied, not sure if I was ready for it. “Gamma Cyrus, could you please show the Prince and his Beta to their rooms.” I asked and he nodded his head, motioning for Kellen and Mike to follow. Once they were up the stairs and out of earshot, I motioned for Brett and Halley to follow me to the Alpha office, linking Cyrus to join us there once he had deposited the boys at their rooms.

Brett unlocked the door to the office and I walked in, him and Halley following me in. I took a seat behind the large wooden desk. I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply, running my hands over the smooth polished wood. His scent was faint but still present in this room and I closed my eyes remembering the last time I was in here.

I could sense his touch, the feel of his hands as they roamed my body, the taste of his lips, his smile and pale blue eyes as he smirked at me before removing my clothes and laying me out on his desk. I shuddered from the feeling of the memory.

We hadn’t been together long. We were still learning about each other, getting to know one another. But I knew how much he loved me. He told me every day, showed me every day. The short span of time we had together was worth a lifetime of memories. I could never love another like him.

A short knock came on the door. I opened my eyes and brushed away the lone tear that trailed down my cheek. I had forgotten I wasn’t alone. Cyrus came walking in and took a seat with Brett and Halley.

I cleared my throat and gulped down the memories in order to speak.

“Alpha… Zane will be buried tomorrow evening once the moon is at its peak, along with the four other warriors whose lives were lost rescuing me. I would also like to hold a vigil after for Luna Juniper and any other pack members that lost their lives the day I was kidnapped. First I wanted to make sure that was OK with both of you?” I looked more at Halley when I asked, seeking her approval above everyone else’s.

“I think that would be lovely, thank you,” Halley replied. Goddess, this girl was strong. I saw her unshed tears, but she was holding herself together like a true Alpha's daughter.

“I would also like an additional headstone commissioned to be placed next to Zane’s,” I said and slid a folded piece of paper over to the three of them.

Brett unfolded the paper and read it out loud “Zander Jeremiah Noir, Beloved son of Alpha Zane Noir and Lamia Langley” 

Halley gasped and covered her mouth, tears slowly leaking from her eyes and Cyrus bit his fist. “We didn’t know” Halley stammered.

“I had just found out the day I was taken, I lost him towards the end of my captivity. We will honor Zane’s son the same way he will be honored”, I replied with as much resolve as I could, even though it was ready to crack.

“Yes, of course, Alpha” Brett said.

We spoke for a little while more, going over tomorrow’s funeral arrangements. Deciding that Brett would give the eulogy and Cyrus would conduct a warrior’s call, a tradition in our kingdom when Alpha was laid to rest and after the body had been cremated and his wolf’s spirit released to be reborn, the warriors would howl a melody until dawn to ensure his wolf and he were set free and crossed in peace. I finally dismissed them, leaving me alone with my own thoughts.

I glanced at the clock which read 3.07am. I may be exhausted, but I knew I would never find sleep. I knew I couldn’t stay in the office all night either. I couldn’t put it off any longer and headed to the Alpha suite, which was once our room, now just mine.

I opened the door slowly, almost expecting him to be there, sitting at the end of the bed waiting for me. But of course, he wasn’t. It was just me. The room still held his scent and I walked to his dresser, pulling out one of his shirts, stripping and replacing Mike’s sweater with Zane’s black shirt. I inhaled the Oak and Maple scent and Inanna whimpered in my mind, missing our mate.

I sat on the bed and ran my hand over the silk grey sheets and leaned down to see if his pillow still held his essence. It did. And so I buried my face in it, gulping up every ounce of his smell and surrounding myself with his aroma. I cried. I cried so hard, “I miss you so much my love”, I whispered, hoping he would hear me.

I cried through the night, not moving until the rays of the sun came peaking through the trees and cast rays of warmth into the room. It was only then I decided to get up and shower and dress for the day. No matter how empty and lost I felt; it was time to put on my game face, not for me but for the pack. For Halley, for Brett, and for Cyrus, they needed a leader.

And it was my duty to guide and lead this pack forward.

I found a long sleeved black dress in the walk-in closet amongst my clothes. I tied my hair in a tight bun and put minimal make-up on.

I finished fastening my earrings, the ones Zane had given me, the emeralds and diamonds sparkling brighter than the light in my eyes, which were dull and lifeless, when there was a knock on the door.

“Come in” I managed to mumble in a gravelly voice.

It was Brett.

“They are waiting for you, Alpha…”

“Lamia, always Lamia to you Brett”, I cut him off.

“Lamia” he said, slightly bowing his head. Gone was the boyish expression from his face and his hazel eyes lacked the spark I had encountered when we first met. His blond hair was pushed back and styled neatly. He was dressed in black slacks and a black button down with the sleeves rolled up.

He stepped closer to me, reaching into his pocket and produced a small velvet box and offered it to me. I looked at him in confusion as our eyes met.

“Zane had asked he to hold on to this when he left to find you, he planned on giving it to you at your Luna ceremony.” He trailed off, shoving the box further towards me.

I took it from him and opened it. Inside sat a ring, a platinum eternity ring with emeralds and diamonds that matched the earrings he had gifted me. I stifled back a sob as I put the ring on my wedding finger. My lips and brows bunched together as my eyes swelled as I realized Zane had planned to make me his in every way possible.

“Brett… I… I” stumbled.

His large arms suddenly found their way around me in a comforting hug.

“He loved you so much, more than anyone. I am so sorry for your loss. We are mourning his death but for the good of the pack and in honor of him we must go on.” He said.

“Thank you Brett. I am sorry too; you have no idea how much”

“Now let us put on our brave faces and bury our fallen” He replied, holding me by the shoulders, his eyes boring into my emeralds with a look of determination.

I offered a tight lip smile and a small nod as he led me out the room and down stairs where the Gamma, Halley, Kellen and Mike were waiting.

The pack had already gathered in the pasture behind the pack house. They all bowed to us as we made our way to the front where five bodies were wrapped in pre-soaked burial cloth.

The sound of silence is deafening as we watched Gamma Cyrus light each body, leaving Zane’s until last. The flames took hold and flickered a bright orange, licking the night sky and thick air. As the moon came to its peak, the flames turned from orange to a blue and embers began to climb high into the sky.

Brett gave a beautiful eulogy as their souls began to cross over and their wolf spirits returned to the moon goddess. And as the blue flames began to burn brighter, Gamma Cyrus let out a mournful howl followed by the warriors who were stationed around the border, one after another like a lullaby in the dark. This would carry on until dawn, until the spirits had returned and were ready for rebirth. Pack members in turn lifted their heads, some shifting, others deciding to stay in their human form and howled at the moon in honor of their lost members and Alpha.

I stood by Halley and watched the last pack member leave to return to their home. I squeezed Halley’s hand in comfort before she too left the pasture.

One by one, each of them left, Kellen, Mike, and Brett. Cyrus had taken up position to keep the melodic song of the wolves going well into the night. Eventually, it was just me. And I stayed until the last piece of Zane had been reduced to ash. In the morning, head stones would be placed for the Alpha and Warriors, a place for loved ones to visit and pay respects.

For what was to be the last time, I embraced the anguish and heart ache I felt as the moon reached its peak and a burning sensation gripped my chest. I bent over, falling on all fours, one hand holding where my heart laid, and let out my own howl into the night as memories of Zane flooded my mind. All too soon, the pain faded and the broken bond that left a hole in my heart began to close up, leaving me a heaping mess on the ground left with just my memories.

Ashe had made good on her promise, she would take away the pain but would leave me with the memories. But she could never take away the ever present guilt.