Falling in love with my Ex's Alpha Chapter 144

"What do you want from me, Kaiden? You are driving me crazy this way!" she throws her hands in the air, impatient with me, and then she puts both hands on her swelling belly as if she can't handle the weight.

I close the door behind me and sit her down in the first armchair I see in the living room.

'Don't let anyone near where Kathie and I are, we're in the living room on the second floor,' I mindlink to Jason.

'Got it,' he replies.

I kneel down in front of her, and even in this position, I'm still taller than her, she crosses her arms over her pregnant belly, waiting for me to speak.

"You can't expect me to act any different towards you when months ago you were living with Chad, your fucking ex, Katherine! Someone you dated!" I snarl at her to see if she understands me.

"You are unbelievable!" She responds, with watery eyes, "Are you going to throw that in my face? You think I don't feel you? I know it's not about that, Kaiden!" she says firmly, but with tears welling in her eyes.

I look down at her trembling lower lip. I don't want to have to admit it out loud...

She fights back the gloss in her eyes. "You wouldn't understand," I say, shaking my head.

"Why? Why wouldn't I understand, Kaiden? I'm your mate, trust me!" It pisses me off.

"You were born with a golden fucking spoon in your mouth. A family who cares about you. You can never understand me!" I say louder.

Her eyes widen.

"I can't believe you said that," she says through a tightness of her soft lips and tries to stand up, but I pin her wrists and lean over her.

"Tell me what's bothering you, Kaiden, please." she lowers her voice like a whisper. "Talk to me."

She blinks and releases the tears she's been holding back.

"I just... Tell me you're not lying to me," her face turns with anger instead of sadness.

"Tell me you'd rather be with me than with others. I need you to tell me the truth! Tell me the fucking truth! Do you think I don't know that you loved dating Chad? You think I don't feel like you wanted him like your mate?"

"Have you lost your mind?" she raises her voice with me, "Kaiden! Let me go!" I release her wrists, and she pushes me back to the position I was in. It wasn't strong enough to move me, but I still moved in the direction that she pushed me, perhaps in disbelief.

"I know I don't deserve you..." I blurt out, feeling totally vulnerable for confessing. "You don't want to be marked by me..."

"It's not that, I swear!" she begs with her eyes. "I want you, I want only you, baby, please believe me, let's stop fighting, please! You can't keep me here in the packhouse forever–"

"You almost died!" I cut her off, remembering how much I almost died because she was away from me. I feel the twists of my stomach with each word.

"But I'm not dead. I'm here! I'm not going anywhere," she holds both of my hands. "You're the most important person in my life, but I need you to change, Kaiden. I need you to move on, believe in me and in my feelings for you."

She lifts her chin, drumming up confidence from somewhere inside her.

Damn fucking right she is. I need to change.

This is it. For her. For me. For us. For our baby.

I know I don't deserve someone so stubbornly willing to stay by my side. But I will keep her. I could never let her go.

I lift my gaze to the wall, staring at a painting of the moon phases hanging there. I drop my eyes to her stupid adorable eyes, I can't even be mad at her.

I fight back the heat behind my eyes, "Old me... I would have fought you, fucked you, and killed everyone who dared to look in your direction." I lift her from the armchair and sit on it, then I pull her onto my lap. "New me, the one you drew out, wanted you to... forget me. I will try to change for you, my little sun, because you are something worth dying for."

She drops her head to my shoulder, and I hear the breathy sounds of her, trying not to cry as I hold her. "I'm sorry," I whisper. She looks up at me with her beautiful eyes.

I grip the back of her neck and kiss her. "If you want this, I'll give you. I will give you everything I can." I pull away and touch her cheek with a warm palm.

"I love you, Kaiden," she says, and suddenly my eyes widened. This is the first time I've heard her say that. I had already felt that she loved me, but she never said it in words.

When I hear every word come out of her mouth, I realize how much I need to hear it. It feels like something has changed inside me.

My old behaviours that destroy everything they touch and keep me away from my mate don't seem to want to go away. My old behaviours are encroaching, threatening to take over...

I close my eyes, and I can hear my father's voice telling me how weak I am and see my mother's look of disappointment.

Suddenly, my little sun hugs me, and I bury my face into her neck.

It seems like she feels how difficult it is for me. I don't need to tell her that my problems are rooted deep inside, but somehow she knows.

I don't realize I'm crying until I feel her soft neck wet.

Her touch surrounds me, stroking my back and whispering words that make me want to cry even more.

"Let this all go, Kaiden. I know it's not easy, but I'm so proud of you!" she says over and over and over.

And I might be high or in shock, but this time, I let her words sink in until I started to believe them.