The Alpha Prince's Abused Mate Chapter 185

ALANA

I stared at the tiny notebook in my head with trepidation.

I am holding the key to the truth about my identity. Here, in these small pieces of my paper lies the secrets to my past.

Putting the photo of my parents back into my pockets and breathing hard, I opened the notebook and read the first words written by blood on the first page.

The scent of an old-age blood similar to mine flared into my nostrils and made my hair stand up. I looked at the alpha king who turned his back on me to give me privacy as I continued reading the words.

“If you are reading this right now, then you must be from my blood, from the cursed blood that should not have existed in this world.”

I paused and gasped hard when I felt that old feeling again-that feeling of abandonment and being unwanted.

Even though he did not meet me, even though he was not able to see my face, he already rejected me. Just like everyone who knew me in this world except William, they do not want me to be alive. Everybody is just wishing for me to vanish.

My grip around the notebook tightened. How I wish I could just disappear into the nothingness so I could be with William. How I wish I could just turn into dust in an instant.

“Your grandfather wrote that before I plunged the sword into his heart with him welcoming it with open arms. I did not dare to read it. He made me promise that I will keep it until the end of my life or until someone would appear worthy to be given that,” he answered me without even looking at me. “That notebook belongs to you, Alana.”

I nodded and cleared my throat. I have so many questions in my head that need answers.

“Since when did you know about my real identity, alpha king? That I am the lost grandchild of the former alpha king?”

He fell silent before glancing at me briefly as if in shame. “I knew about you already when I asked you to go back to your village as the ambassadress but I did not know that you have the same monster as him inside of you so I decided to let you go. What harm could a fragile girl like you do to the kingdom and our kind? But then, I am wrong. You have the red wolf inside of you just like your grandfather posing a great danger to the whole pack.”

That struck me. That long already? But why…

“If you know, then why did you not kill me? Why did you not erase me from this world already?”

He swallowed the lump in his throat and looked me in the eyes. “But my son loves you so much. You are his mate. He would be devastated if I took you away from him. I know he would fight for you until the end. That is why we brought up the tests hoping that he would be the one to give you up. And the rest is history and in that history is my incompetence costing the life of my one and only son.”

The words stung my eyes causing my tears to fall. I feel the pain in his voice because it mirrored mine in the most painful way.

He paused and looked at the painting on the ceiling at the library. “I was too ashamed before the memory of my alpha king that I failed to carry out my promise to him but was more ashamed with the fact that I let you be abused by the alpha. I am the alpha king, the protector of the weak and the defenseless but I am unable to protect you from your own abusers. The guilt hits differently. It still haunts me up until today.”

My tears continued falling as my fingers started turning the pages and continued reading despite the pain in my chest that I now know would never be alleviated.

“Whoever you are, know that I am a weak fool. The war I created inside the pack and against the lycans are going into the peak just so I could be delivered away from the pain. I am a selfish, descendant. I do not deserve to be the alpha king because I am a weak coward.”

I bit my lips as heat flooded my whole face. I can sense the embarrassment and guilt just by his words alone through these pages even though it was written years ago.

“But if someone from my blood survived, then you must have been exceptional. I am sure you are persecuted but if you have reached this point, then I know you are strong unlike me. Better if you are a woman because the curse could be neutralized if you can find your mate who can accept you for who you are which will never happen because they will always see us as monsters like my queen luna. My wonderful daughter Athena is not cursed thanks to the moon goddess. Best if you die in your birth and not see the light of the day so as not to suffer anymore but if you are then…”

I smiled bitterly and turned to the last page only to know that it was torn away from the notebook.

“Where is the rest?” I muttered. I want to read his message until the end. I want to know more about myself.

I raised my head at the alpha king to ask him about it when something snapped in my head. Am I right for connecting the dots? Is that why she told me that? Is that why she was smiling at me? What is she going to do with the last piece?

“Alana! Where are you going?” the alpha king called for my name when I just suddenly bolted out of the library.

I did not stop to explain it to him anymore. I must go immediately.

William…