The Alpha Prince's Abused Mate Chapter 187

ALANA

“Ahh!” I let out a growl as my tears and pain drowned me again.

“Tell me, Francine,” my voice croaked as I tightly held her hand. “Am I really worth it? Does someone like me, an abandoned person who was hated by everyone I know, deserve someone like the alpha prince who’s loved by everyone? I should have been the one who died! It should be my body lying cold there because my existence in this world is abominable! It should have been me! Why does he have to save me when I am the monster that should have not been born in the first place!”

Gentle hands wrapped around my face, wiping my tears slowly. “Alana, you are not a monster. You are asking me if you are worthy enough to be saved by the alpha prince, then it’s a yes, Alana. William did not hesitate to save you because he loved you. Sacrifice is the most noble thing a man can do to his woman.”

She smiled at me and cupped my face again. “It’s a life worth living for him because he has met and loved you and you loved him back. He has lived a worthy life and he wants you to experience that.”

I shook my head violently rejecting her idea. “But how could I, Francine? How could I live a life with happiness when he is my happiness? We fought together to be in each other’s arms. We got our memories back. I thought after this, we are finally going to be away from all of here to live the rest of our lives together but he died.”

I choke on my words while spilling everything out of my heart. “Why does fate have to be cruel to me and to William? Why does it have to give us hope and then shatter it the moment we are desperately clinging to it?”

“Alana…”

I smiled bitterly and closed my eyes to let my tears fall. “I guess they are right. I was put in this world to suffer because I am cursed. I will be the living testament to the kingdom that someone like me should have better stayed in that fucking cell!”

She fell silent but her presence did not leave me.

Putting my hands down, I glanced at the covered body of my mate. I did not have enough courage these days to uncover it to see his face because I knew I would break down even further into helpless hopeless particles.

I do not want his body to be drenched with my tears. I want to send him off as peacefully as possible because I do not want the spirit of his wolf to come back and be a wild atrocious animal.

“Do you regret meeting William?” she asked while I continued staring at William.

Memories flashed in my head. The first time that our eyes met in the dungeon, I knew that he would do everything for me. His eyes were just so warm and so dark at that time but I was comforted by a different kind of energy when he scooped me to the ground without any hesitation.

And just days ago, while he’s dying in my eyes, I saw the desperation to keep on clinging into life just so he could be with me. So, he could live with me.

I’m sorry for leaving first, I still remembered the last whisper of words that came out from his mouth before he took his last breath.

“No, never,” I answered. “That is the only thing in my existence that I would never regret.”

She smiled and brushed some strands off my hair, a move that reminded me so greatly of William because he used to do that to me too.

“Do you regret loving him?” she asked again.

I gasped for air as more and more of our memories assaulted me. “No, Francine. I will never ever feel that. Why would I regret feeling the only thing in this world that made me happy? I admit the path is not smooth but William made it more than bearable for me.”

“Then why are you thinking like that? Why are you thinking that going back to those dark times when William made you happy, right? He made beautiful memories with you.”

I know she only wants to make me feel a little bit of ease but the opposite of happening. And I do not want to feel at ease. I want to be sad forever until the day that I die so I could be finally happy when William waits for me there.

“And I want to keep making beautiful memories with him until the day when we transform into our wolves for the last time and die together in the forest due to old age.”

I broke into another meltdown again. This is the kind of pain that will forever haunt me. I know there is just no moving on from it.

Francine sighed and held my chin so she could lift it up and I could look in her eyes which I refused to by shutting my eyes.

“Alana, look at me,” she ordered me. “Please, child. Look at me.”

I obeyed and looked her in the eyes.

“Much better,” she said, smiling. “I have lived for ages and I met your grandpa’s ancestors living with the same red monster inside you and I witnessed the same thing. Their lovers, their mates abandoning them when they saw who they truly are. They were afraid and their love melted like snow against the sun. They hated the people whom they vowed to love for the rest of their lives.”

Francine wiped off my tears again but it’s futile because my tears just kept falling down again and again.

“But it’s different with William. His love for you was genuine. He never left you, Alana. He sacrificed his life for you. It’s not fear that he felt but true love for you.”