Rejected By My Mate; Claimed By Lycan Quadruplets Chapter 181

Beta Ash's POV

I sat there for a long time staring at the wall, trying to find the courage that had been slipping through my fingers every time Lisa walked into the room. It wasn’t courage to fight, not courage to stand against an enemy, but the kind that forces a man to drop all his defenses and stand bare before the woman he loves. That’s harder than any war. That’s harder than claws and blood.

And God knew I had failed her.

I’d tricked her. Lied to her face. I watched her fall into my arms while I was carrying secrets behind my back. I can’t even count the times I told myself it was for her own good, for protection, for safety. But the truth—raw and ugly—was that I was selfish. I didn’t want to lose her. So I fed her shadows, told her what I wanted her to hear, and prayed she would never look too closely.

But she did.

And now… here we are.

I rubbed my palms together, stood, sat back down, and stood again. My chest felt like a cage and my heart was the wild animal tearing itself against the bars. I kept replaying the same sentence in my head: *Just apologize, Ash. Just tell her the truth. Tell her you were wrong.* But each time I tried to picture her face, my throat locked up.

When the door opened, my whole body stiffened. She stepped inside with that soft grace of hers that always made me forget how heavy the world was. Lisa. My mate. My wife. The mother of my child. She looked tired, hair tied back, eyes wary as they landed on me. Not angry—anger I could take. Anger was sharp and direct. No, this was worse. This was distance.

“Lisa…” My voice cracked.

She closed the door behind her, leaning back against it, arms folded over her chest. “You wanted to talk?”

Every part of me screamed to walk over, take her hands, pull her into me the way I always did when words failed. But I knew I had no right. Not yet.

“Yes,” I said finally, stepping forward, then stopping like there was an invisible wall between us. Maybe there was. “I… I owe you more than just talk. I owe you truth. I owe you an apology. And I don’t even know if those words will mean anything to you after what I’ve done.”

Her brows drew together. “Ash…”

I shook my head quickly, forcing myself to keep going before the fear crushed me into silence again. “I tricked you. I told myself I was protecting you, protecting us, protecting Aria… but that’s a lie I fed myself so I could sleep at night. The truth is, I was afraid. Afraid of losing you. Afraid that if you knew everything, you’d walk away. And I couldn’t… I couldn’t let that happen.”

Her eyes glistened, but her arms stayed folded tight, like a shield. “Do you even realize what that did to me?” she asked, voice low. “You made me feel like a fool, Ash. You made me doubt my own instincts. And for what? To keep me in the dark? To make sure I wouldn’t run?”

Her words were knives I deserved. I swallowed hard, the burn in my throat nearly choking me. “Yes. And I hate myself for it. Every day since, I’ve hated myself for it. I never wanted to hurt you. Never wanted to see you look at me the way you’re looking now. But I did. And I’ll carry that until the day I die.”

She pushed off the door and took a slow step toward me. “Then why, Ash? If you loved me as much as you claim, why didn’t you trust me enough to tell me the truth?”

I dragged a hand over my face, exhaling shakily. “Because I didn’t trust myself. I didn’t trust that I was strong enough to lose you if that was the price. I thought if I held on tightly enough, if I kept you safe, you’d stay. I was wrong. So wrong.”

Her silence stretched, heavy and suffocating. I forced myself to look at her—really look. The pain in her eyes was deeper than anything claws or blades could carve. This was my doing.

I dropped to my knees before her, not caring how desperate it looked. “Lisa… I’m sorry. I’m so sorry for lying, for betraying the trust you gave me. I swear to you, I will do better. I will strip myself bare before you if that’s what it takes. No more secrets. No more shadows. You deserve light. You deserve honesty. And I swear on my life, on Aria’s life, that I will give you that.”

Her lips trembled, and she blinked hard like she was holding back tears. “You don’t get to use our child as leverage, Ash. Don’t bring her into this just to—”

“I’m not,” I cut in, my voice breaking. “I’m not. I’m saying it because she deserves a father who doesn’t hide behind lies. She deserves a father who shows her what it means to respect her mother, to love her mother the right way. And I want to be that man, Lisa. For her. For you. For us.”

Her breath hitched, and for the first time she didn’t look away. Her eyes locked on mine, searching, burning, testing every word. I held her gaze, even when the weight of it made my chest ache.

“Do you even know how much I wanted to believe you back then?” she whispered. “How much I wanted every word, every touch to be real? And then when the truth slipped out, it shattered me. You shattered me, Ash.”

Tears blurred my vision, hot and merciless. “I know. I know I did. And I’ll spend the rest of my life proving to you that I can piece it back together. Even if you never forgive me, even if you never look at me the same, I will keep trying. Because you and Aria… you’re my whole world. Without you, I’m nothing but a broken man playing at strength.”

She reached out, then hesitated, fingers hovering just inches from my face before she pulled back. The movement gutted me, but I didn’t stop her. She owed me nothing.

“Say it again,” she whispered.

“Say what?” My voice cracked.

“That you’re sorry. That you’ll do better.”

I took her hands before she could retreat again and pressed them against my chest so she could feel the frantic drum of my heart. “I’m sorry, Lisa. For every lie, every secret, every wound I put on your heart. I’m sorry for tricking you, for making you question yourself. I’ll do better. I swear. I’ll do better for you, for our daughter, for this family. Please… forgive me.”

The silence that followed felt like eternity. I could hear my own heartbeat, feel the tremor in her hands, smell the faint trace of her scent that always undid me.

Finally, her tears spilled, and she whispered so softly I almost missed it: “I want to believe you, Ash. God, I want to. But you broke something in me. And I don’t know how long it’ll take to mend.”

I bowed my head, pressing her hands tighter against my chest. “Then I’ll wait. As long as it takes. I’ll wait and prove it every single day until you believe again. Just… don’t shut me out completely. Don’t take yourself away from me, from Aria. That’s all I ask.”

Her fingers twitched, and for a moment, just a moment, she squeezed back. That tiny gesture was enough to crack open hope inside me.

I lifted my gaze, tears running unchecked, and whispered, “Thank you.”